My friend is a tough broad. She’s a successful woman in a man’s world. To become so, she had to be tough. Now with cancer it’s been no different. She takes everything it has thrown at her with grit, determination and a positive attitude that is sometimes hard to comprehend from where I sit. But this morning she offhandedly made the statement that her doctor says that she is now anemic, which means that her immune system, already weakened by the chemo, is now even less effective. Her doctor’s advice is that she should work from home instead of going into the office during flu season.
Something about that revelation got to me. And in my usual ham-fisted way, I blurted out, “OK...if you get the flu, I’m lodging an official complaint with God!!” Her reply was, “I’m trusting him with all of it. No need to complain, my friend. He’s got this.”
When I replied with, “Yeah, but sometimes enough is enough,” she offered this matter of fact description of her condition:
I know...I have sores in my nose, hands that are so chapped they peel the skin off, blurred vision, no hair, constant diarrhea and sores inside my mouth. But, I’ve been reading Job and reminding myself that I’m still better off than he was. Also, there’s a guy at our church who is younger than me and has stage four cancer in his jaw and throat. He has been on chemo and radiation. I think he’s already quitting and they are going to call in hospice. So, I can still see positives in all this mess. When your group meets this week remember to pray for my husband. I think he’s depressed about all of this but would never admit it.
Whenever I post something about my friend, it makes me uncomfortable whenever people respond by telling me what a great “friend” I am. When people do that they are completely and totally missing the point. What’s remarkable about all of this is not some guy who sends texts to a sick friend every morning filled with corny jokes. What’s remarkable is the almost supernatural endurance, faith and toughness of a woman who is battling cancer with more honesty and grace than humanly possible. After that dissertation of horribleness she asks me to pray...for her husband.
It didn’t end there. Before I could summon enough composure to respond she changed the subject to...baseball. She and her husband are big Orioles fans, they drive to Baltimore three or four times a year to their games. But she’s become a temporary Nationals fan for the Series. “I figure the Nationals are as close as I’m gonna get to seeing Baltimore win a World Series, so GO NATS!”
Just like nothing ever happened. She signed off with, “Have a happy Monday, Doug!”
I have so much to learn about toughness, grace and faith, it’s not even funny.
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