The Fog

 Most days in this life aren’t a whole lot different than yesterday was or what tomorrow will be. Much of life is repetition and that’s ok because most things that you do over and over again you get better at, right? But every once in a while a day comes along where your brain functions at a different level. When the day is over you find yourself wondering what the heck happened? Was it something you ate? 

Take today for example. 

What follows is an attempt to explain what it was like to be me today, to give you a sneak peak into my thought processes for the day. Thankfully this isn’t what I would call a normal day, far from it. However, this sort of thing happens to me more often than I would like to admit. The problem I will have will be finding a way to describe this phenomenon without the reader coming to the conclusion that there is something wrong with me, which is a chance I will have to take.

The day started with me taking Patrick and Sarah to the airport so they could catch a plane to New York City for business. Once I dropped them off I planned on driving to the Cafe at Hope  for my morning ritual of coffee, breakfast and making a pest of myself to anyone who was unlucky enough to walk by. Instead I drove all the way to the entrance to my neighborhood before I realized that I was not, in fact, at the Cafe at Hope. I chalked it up to a brain freeze and although a bit irritated, I made the course correction and made it to the Cafe. Next on my agenda was a trip to Short Pump mall to buy a birthday present for Pam whose birthday always comes while we are in Maine. After completing this task, the plan was to run by CVS to pick up a couple prescriptions. Instead I discovered that I had driven home instead. Lucky for me Pam was happy to see me since she needed me to drive her over to the Hyundai  dealership to get her car which had been inspected and was ready for pickup. I accomplished this task with no trouble after which it was my intention to head over to CVS. Unfortunately, while on my way a really cool plot idea for the book I am currently writing popped into my head. So, I detoured back home so I could write the idea down before I forgot it. On my way home it occurred to me that I didn’t have my sunglasses with me. The sun was super bright and I remember having them on when I drove to the airport. First I thought maybe I left them at the Cafe. I sent a quick text to a friend there but got no response. Then I was sure I had left them at the store where I had bought Pam’s birthday present. I drove all the way to the mall only to discover that there were no sun glasses to be found. This time I was pissed because this makes the second pair of sun glasses I have lost in the past month. I drove home in a foul mood but on the way I remembered that a friend was closing on a house and was feeling a lot of anxiety about it so I sent a text to encourage her. Then I got a Marco Polo video of my grandson playing with a toy we had bought him for his birthday. Adorable. But as soon as the video was finished I remembered a dear friend I had lunch with last week who shared with me that he had four grandchildren he had never met because he was estranged from his daughter. I was overcome with sadness for my friend which reminded me that another friend had just been made a grandparent for the first time in the wee hours of last night. That cheered me up. But then I remembered that my former assistant had become a grandparent for the first time two days ago but she wasn’t going to know the little girl’s name until they arrived in Boston for a visit. That was two days ago and she still hadn’t text me the child’s name! When I arrived home I realized that I had forgotten to pick up the prescriptions at CVS—again. The good news? My sunglasses were on the kitchen counter. 

Smack dab in the middle of the day I had a very important appointment concerning very serious financial matters, the kind of thing that requires you to have your wits about you. My recollection of that meeting was that I was on top of my game and that it went quite well…except for the fact that half way through the appointment a former colleague popped his head into the room to say that he needed to speak with me before I left. I totally forgot about it until I picked up my sunglasses on the kitchen counter, approximately three hours later.

Other than that, it was a great day.

I have often complained about how old our recent Presidents have been, but I think I may have stumbled on an overlooked benefit of octogenarian leaders. If I was President and I wanted to go to war with some country for some reason—all that country would have to do is chill out for a couple days and by that time I will have forgotten why I wanted to go to war with them in the first place!

Passing the Torch

 The great one week countdown has begun. In exactly one week from this very moment Pam and I will be AIS, leaving Short Pump in our rear view mirror, heading for the big green bridge. In a first, this time we will be accompanied by my son and his wife who will also be driving up to Maine. It’s a long story but they will be driving their cool new EV car with their pup Frisco onboard. We will probably leave at roughly the same time but since their stops will take longer and be more frequent than ours we won’t be convoying or anything. However, it will be so cool to have them with us that first week at the lake.

A few days after we arrive, my daughter, son-in-law and grandson will touch down at the Portland Airport and for six wonderful days the house will be full of all seven of us for the very fist time. We will be introducing Silas, along with Frisco, to lake living in Maine. 

This will be a summer in Maine like nothing before it in our experience. We haven’t spent any time in Maine with a toddler in—I don’t know—since our kids were toddlers over three decades ago. This fact is almost impossible to believe. It can’t have been that long ago, could it? Nevertheless Pam and I both understand that this year will feel different. Hosting an energetic Golden Retriever with no lake life experience can be challenging. Having a 13 month old child there will change the dynamic in a thousand ways. There won’t be as many lazy moments, we won’t be able to succumb to whatever spontaneous impulse pops into our heads. If we are feeling an ice cream run over to Super Scoops we can’t just hop in the car and go. We will have to work around nap schedules…and this time not just mine.

But I’m not sure I’ve ever looked forward to Maine more than I have this particular adventure precisely because it will be so completely new. Having the opportunity to watch Frisco’s first time reaction to the lake will remind me of Lucy. Getting to watch Silas’ first moment in the water, his first lunch on the dock. His first walk on the footbridge at Riverducks will take me back to when I watched my two kids eating fluffernutters on the sandy beach at Dummer’s Beach all those years ago. For us it will feel like passing a torch of sorts, a torch of shared memories and experiences that have defined our family for the past forty two years…a very good thing.

What’s Going on at The Tempest?

 I have had more than one person ask me why I’m writing fewer posts in this blog than I used to. They have pointed out that in past years I routinely churned out over 20 posts per month and lately it’s half of that. Am I running out of things to say? Am I planning on winding The Tempest down? My answer is, no and no. 

No, I have not run out of things to say. If I wanted to I could write something here every day. There is always something to say. But over the past several years I have become more selective. Part of it is the fact that this isn’t the only thing I write. Over the past decade or so I have managed to write six novels, number seven is currently in the works. That soaks up a lot of imagination and mental bandwidth. 

But I have also become less self-indulgent when it comes to this blog. In the ten years between 2013 and 2022 I was cranking out on average 250 posts a year, much of it amounted to me venting my frustration on the subject of politics. The Presidential elections of 2016 and 2020 ignited a million opinions on the internet, most of them unhinged and counterproductive. I was no exception. Once you realize that you are part of the problem you complain about, it humbles you. Since 2022 my production here has averaged 125 posts annually. Most of that is the result of me asking myself a few questions: Is this piece helpful? Is it fair? Is it kind? Is it sufficiently informed? Under those rules many of my political rants didn’t make the cut. It’s not that I no longer care about political things, it’s more like a feeling that I can’t escape—the absolute last thing this world needs is another blogpost about politics.

I am not planning on winding down The Tempest. I love this forum. I’m proud of much of the content I’ve produced, embarrassed by some of it, and grateful that so many of you keep reading. Which brings me to another concern.

It took me 13 years to reach one million views in this space. It only took the last 12 months to reach two million. I don’t believe any of it. I have a growing suspicion that the internet has more bots than people. Especially over the past two or three years, the readership numbers here have exploded beyond believability. There is an environment of algorithmic bullshit that pervades the internet. The false and the fake are close cousins. I look at the numbers here and wonder, who the heck are these people in Singapore who read The Tempest? I have no idea but I am 100% convinced that they are not flesh and blood human beings. This knowledge leaves me cold and frustrated.

But what I do publish in this space are the things I truly want to write about…my family, my dog, my grandson, things that I think are funny and fun about being a 68 year old man. 

Birthday Week Thoughts…

 Second birthday party for Silas is in the books. The Toddler Era has officially begun. The party was attended by the Dunnevant side of his family along with Jon’s sister, her husband and two adorable kids who came down from Maryland. A good time was had by all. It is safe to say that Lolli and Pops are birthdayed out but delighted that we got to experience such a milestone. 

In the middle of the festivities yesterday the thought occurred to me that this little boy will have no excuse for failure in this world. He has two parents who love him and each other. He is surrounded by loving family on every side who adore him. He has a community of dear friends and a church family in Columbia who have his back, including one particular family who would move heaven and hell for him—I’m looking at you, Wolfers. Of course none of these things guarantee a great life. The world can be a brutal place, enemies of peace and virtue are everywhere. But being blessed with such an array of people who love you cannot be underestimated. Much is made of the concept of privilege these days, most of the time the word is slung around as a pejorative. I am proud of this little boy’s privilege. It has been hard won, this supportive foundation he stands on. Luck had nothing to do with it. 

At the same time, I think about the thousands of children out there the same age as Silas who have been abandoned by the world, parents succumbed to addiction, extended family eviscerated by divorce and neglect. Through no fault of their own those children—created in the image of God just like Silas—will struggle to find their way. Some will. Many will not. The thought breaks my heart.

So, I am grateful for everyone who celebrated this first birthday with us. Everyone of you are a blessing beyond measure.

Lucy’s Last Trip to Maine

 Two weeks left before we leave for Maine. The 100 degree heat is a dead giveaway that the time is near. We have a thousand loose ends to tie up before we leave, but it’s always that way whenever you go somewhere for six weeks. But this year there will be some extra room in the car, the place that has always been occupied by Lucy and all her things. I try not to think about it because it will be disconcerting to look in the rear view mirror and not see her back there curled up in a ball sound asleep. 

This year will be a year of many firsts, our first trip without Lucy since 2015, and our first ever trip with a toddler as we introduce Silas to the lake. It is also rare when we get to have all of our kids up here at the same time, but this year that happy condition will exist for 6 days in July. Jon, Kaitlin and Silas will fly up and Patrick and Sarah will drive up with their Golden, Frisco—his first trip to the lake. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to know that at least for that one week I’ll have a dog here with us. It will take a bit of the sting out of Lucy’s absence.

We have her ashes in a lovely jar along with an impression of her paw print in a little display box. The plan is to take her ashes to the lake. We figured it to be her perfect final resting place. So in a sense this will be her last trip to Maine.

This might appear overly sentimental to some, to feel such grief over a dog’s loss months after her passing, and maybe it is. But watching Lucy’s eyes light up whenever she climbed into the back of the car when she knew we were heading to Maine was a joy like no other. Watching her dive into the water following Pam everywhere she went on her paddle board always brought a profound peace to my heart. Having her stand by my side on the dock impatiently waiting for me to catch a fish was one of the most delightful experiences I have been lucky enough to enjoy. More than any of us Maine was always Lucy’s place. So, we will take her there one final time, adding her ashes to the very special waters of Quantabacook.

Silas Has His First Birthday Party

 Young parents, along with new grandparents, are quite familiar with the books by famed children’s author Eric Carle, specifically his The Very Hungry Caterpillar series. The plot of these stories centers around a tiny caterpillar with a voracious appetite who devours everything in its path during one unrestrained binge-eating session after another. Although the specter of childhood obesity hangs over each of these books like the sword of Damocles, somehow they have become classics of children’s literature. They also happen to be among Silas’ favorite books and became the theme of his first birthday party. Lolli spent the past month scouring the interwebs for all things caterpillar. The results are displayed in the pictures which accompany this post.

The amount of planning and labor that went into this party are off the charts. But a child only has a first birthday one time so you’ve got to make it count. This one was in Columbia and was attended by all of his home town buddies and their parents. The kids had a blast. Their parents had a blast. There were homemade cupcakes, an ice cream bar and a smash cake. Silas picked at the smash cake, never once putting any of it in his mouth, preferring to fling the icing on the wall behind him instead. Later, when Lolli offered to feed him the cake with a fork (like civilized people do), he devoured it with great glee and enthusiasm.

By the time everyone left the party, the grownups were wiped out. The four all-stars included Lolli and Pops, and Grandma & Grandpa who flew in from Ohio and were indispensable in the three days of preparation required to throw such a grand soirée.

I cannot begin to describe how wonderful it is to know that my grandson is loved by so many. He is lucky beyond knowing, and I am grateful beyond telling.

Now, we head back to Short Pump to prepare for part two of his first birthday party—the Dunnevant family version next weekend. Everybody does this right? Two birthday parties at two different locations—right?

I Win at Life!!!!

 Ok, one thing nobody tells you about retirement is that there are some things you miss from your working days. For a guy with my particular wiring its the charge of adrenaline that accompanied a big payday. Yes, I know that might sound a bit superficial, but the feeling that came over you when you landed a big case was pretty cool. It was a moment of victory in a sometimes unforgiving season of loss and it felt incredible.

Well…let me tell you about an experience I just had that was even better.

The first part of this will sound dumb to most of you because basically it is kinda dumb. Pam and I are leaving for South Carolina in the morning for my grandson’s first birthday Lalapalooza and it just so happens that both of our key fobs for the Hyundai were on the fritz. So Pam sends me this video of some random woman giving a two minute talk about what to do when your key fob goes on the fritz which amounted to A. Replacing the battery or B. Buy a new one. I didn’t find this woman particularly helpful especially since there was not an accompanying video showing just how to replace the battery in a 2016 Hyundai key fob! So, I went straight to YouTube and dialed up a helpful video of some guy with a southern drawl doing the deed. I followed his instructions to the letter and discovered that I would need two 2032 disc batteries. To my great astonishment my giant hard plastic battery organizing mini-briefcase thing had the exact two batteries I needed—something that has never once happened in my 68 years. I popped those babies in and marched myself out to the garage and pressed the appropriate buttons and was thrilled to discover that they worked!! Look, I have many talents but nobody has ever accused me of being…handy. So, this was something of a triumph.

So, that was the dump part. But this next thing that happened is the greatest thing in the world. I hear a blip from my cell phone and it’s a text that my daughter sent to Pam and me. She said:

“I’m just gonna leave this little clip right here…”

I clicked on the video and it was Silas getting ready for bed. His mom asked him, “Silas, who are you looking forward to seeing tomorrow?”

The boy immediately says, “Pop!”

I win at life.