This story comes to us from the good people of California. . . San Francisco specifically, and couldn’t possibly have come to us from anywhere else. Officials in that beautiful city, beset by a rising crime rate, have changed the words used to refer not only to criminal behavior, but the people who engage in such behavior. According to the San Francisco Chronicle, local officials, “Hope to change people’s views about criminals. We don’t want people to be forever labeled for the worst things that they have done...referring to them as ‘felons’ is like a scarlet letter that they can never get away from.”
Ok.
From now on, in San Francisco at least, convicted felons will be called...justice-involved persons. In addition, the offensive term “ex-con” will be replaced with...returning resident. “Juvenile delinquents” will now be known as...young people with justice system involvement.
Of course, this mad scramble to cleanse our language of judgement words isn’t just the dominion of coastal elites. My very own church bulletin recently featured a class for people with...substance use disorders. I guess the terms alcoholic and drug addict are a bit judgmental, now that I think about it. Funny how adding the word disorder at the end of any pathology, makes it seem much less like a personal failing and more like a disease against we are powerless to defend ourselves.
Anyway, after reading this story, it started me to thinking that there are many other crimes that we should consider renaming, you know...to take away some of the stigma:
Old Word. New Judgement-Free Word
Robbery Unregulated wealth redistribution
Burglary Unplanned house guest
Rape Unauthorized intimacy
Kidnapping Unauthorized custody
Assault Inappropriately aggressive physical contact
After reading back over this I’m trying to imagine a police officer typing up the report to an arrest sometime in the not too distant future:
“Around 11:27 pm on Friday evening the 16th of July, this officer observed a young person with justice system involvement coming out of a bar with a couple of returning residents. Proceeded to follow them on foot when I came upon all three of them involved in a group substance-use disorder at the corner of Elm and Pine, whereupon this officer overheard one of them suggest that they all become unexpected house guests of the pawn shop down the street. I immediately called for backup and by the time they arrived, the three suspects were found redistributing the wealth of Bubba’s Pawn Shop in a highly unregulated way. Fortunately, all of them submitted to their arrests without any inappropriately aggressive physical contact.”
...what a strange new world we live in!
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