Stupid Nature

Last night, the family gathered over at my sister’s house for lasagna. Linda had been ill during Beach Week, if you recall, and missed her night to fix dinner for all of us...so she decided to make amends by cooking the meal she had planned to cook at the beach. Yes, my sister is a saint.

The meal was fabulous and after dessert we all decided to sit out on the deck and chat. Soon, I was regaling everyone with dad jokes and the kids were romping around in the yard. The whole thing looked like an advertisement that might have appeared in the Saturday Evening Post in the 1950’s. Then...stupid nature happened.

It was a delightful evening, temperature in the low 70’s, low humidity, and thanks to the Mosquito Authority...blood-sucking pest-free. Then, Linda decided to take Evelyn down to the little kids playhouse thing that Bill installed years ago to entertain the grandkids. It features a little treehouse thing with a slide. For reasons that now escape me, I decided that what Linda and Evelyn needed at that moment was Uncle Doug acting as the slide troll. No, as a matter of fact, I do not know why I do such things...especially where Evelyn is concerned, since she has a decidedly mixed view of her uncle—part fascination, part fear, part—what tha?? Be that as it may, there I was kneeling down under the slide, preparing for my performance as...the troll...when I became aware of excruciating pain.

I had angered a freshly built nest of these hideous creatures, and one of them had come out to meet my troll challenge. He had affixed himself to the pinky of my left hand and was stabbing it with diabolical vigor. Try as I might to shake the beast off, he hung on, injecting me with poison. I finally managed to flick him away only to have him sting my right index finger before beating his hasty retreat. Now, the full effect of all of the stinging was brought home to bare on both of my hands. It’s probably been 50 years since I’ve been stung by a wasp. I had forgotten just how painful they are. Linda ran me into the house and before I knew what was happening, she had both fingers covered in a solution of water and baking soda and had instructed me to keep both hands elevated. So now my hands were slathered with white goo and my arms raised skyward like a crazed Pentecostal at a healing service! 

Luckily, I’m not allergic. Although both fingers started to swell, and the pain lasted several hours, this morning all is well.

Stupid nature!!