For the second time in six months, a neighborhood in Short Pump has awoken to discover old school television sets deposited on their doorsteps. The mastermind behind the mischief wears a hollowed out TV set over his head, and sometimes poses for the cameras. I use the male pronoun here although Boob Tube Guy could very well be a woman. Whenever he or she strikes, all the local news rooms cover the story, each of them posing the intriguing question...why??
What is the point? Why would someone go to the trouble of traipsing around in the middle of the night delivering obsolete television sets to random upscale communities in Richmond’s West End? I have come up with some working theories for your consideration.
1. These are nothing more than college kids with too much time on their hands, doing what college kids have always done when bored.
The problem with this theory is..I believe that this latest incident occurred before most local universities had opened for business. Also, we’re talking nearly 30 television sets. Where did a bunch of kids get their hands on that many sets?
2. This is a television repair man who’s business is on the rocks, making a statement about excess. West Enders, with their constant need for more and bigger no longer have televisions repaired, they just buy new ones. Boob Tube Guy is protesting consumerism.
I don’t know...does this dude look like a malcontent? There is a certain whimsical quality to this prank, with his TV helmet and posing for the security cameras. He just doesn’t strike me as an idealist.
3. He is actually the ultimate Good Samaritan, handing out vintage tube televisions to households most likely to have big flat screens hanging in their living rooms. Boob Tube Guy knows that these new age smart screens are being used by the Dark State to spy on us, so he is striking a blow for privacy.
...but, he’s wearing a TV on his head.
4. He’s just a fun-loving practical joker who gets a kick out of pulling everybody’s chain and getting himself on the nightly news.
I think we have a winner.
I, for one, love Boob Tube Guy. He’s a guy who has an active imagination, a sense of fun, and a commitment to quality. Have you noticed how he places each set in the exact middle of each porch? He doesn’t just slap it down all cockeyed and cattywompus. No, he takes care to place it dead center of the porch. This man has pride of ownership. If he’s going to commit Tomfoolery, he’s going to do it right. And another thing...he isn’t hurting anyone. Everyone gets a good chuckle out of it, the cops come out and load them up and take them away, and we are left talking about something besides politics.
All Hail Boob Tube Guy!!
News of this has spread to Raleigh, NC. My immediate thought was, "Where did my nephew get all the TVs?" But my second thought was, "Doug must be getting desperate for things to write about, so he has created an alter ego." Good job!
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