Christmas Came Early at Dunnevant Financial

So, my assistant shows up yesterday with Christmas presents for me. The fact that it was only December 15th didn’t seem to matter to her. She marches to her own drummer so I didn’t make a big deal of it. Anyway, she has been working for me for seven or eight years now and needless to say...she has picked up on several of my, er, tendencies...

The beef stick is already gone. I plan on wearing those awesome Christmas tree glasses every day until Christmas, and the cigars will be smoked with my boys out on the deck over Christmas. As far as the socks go, I couldn’t be more thrilled. Speaking of Dad Jokes....

Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. getting home and finding out they forgot part of your order...

Riceless.

No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks me if I play an instrument, I say...

I play a little guitar.

It doesn’t matter if you’re straight, gay or bisexual...

At the end of the day, it’s night.

I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.

He’s a Singer songwriter...or sew it seams.

I ran out of toilet paper recently and had to use the newspaper. Now the realization has kicked in that...

The Times are rough.

What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?

Sir Render.

In Sweden the CEO of IKEA was just elected prime minister.

He should have his cabinet put together by summer.

Is it ok to start drinking as soon as the kids get to school...

Or am I just a terrible teacher?