My earliest memories of laughing at things centered around the Three Stooges. But the first time I made Pam watch an episode with me back when we were dating she sat there staring at the television, then back at me with thinly veiled horror played out on her face. “This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen. These guys are sadists. All they are doing is playing physical pain for laughs!!” To which I answered, “Exactly!! Isn’t it hilarious??” We agreed to disagree. I still think slapstick, sight gags and a well timed rake handle in the face are funny, but that’s just me.
Later on in life, I became a huge George Carlin fan. Still am. Loved Rodney Dangerfield, Foster Brooks, Tim Conway, Carol Burnett, Steve Martin, and the brilliant physical comedy of Dick Van Dyke.
Today there are plenty of really funny men and women out there, but there are also comics that I don’t care for. People who I find unnecessarily profane, too reliant on foils, that sort of thing. But again, that’s a personal preference.
Trying to keep my cancer-fighting friend supplied with jokes every day for the past couple of months has been a chore. But I have been helped by several friends who are now sending me collections of jokes to keep my supply full. Some have been really bad, but I so appreciate the effort. Then there’s my sister-in-law, Sharon...
Ok, one of my biggest regrets in life is that I haven’t saved every birthday card that Sharon has given me over the forty years that I have known her. She has what I consider to be a terrific sense of humor. The cards she buys are always laugh out loud funny. She just has the knack, the finely tuned funny bone, and perfect comedic timing. I bring this up because yesterday she sent me a text with an attachment...
In doing so, she introduced me to an entire genre of bad jokes called Confucius Say jokes. Somehow in my bottom-feeding journey of the internet I had missed them. Here are just a few examples of these short, pithy one liners:
Man who have clear conscience usually have bad memory, too.
Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jumps for Joy
Man who has bird in hand finds it hard to blow nose.
No husband ever been shot while he do dishes.
Man who push piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner.
But then all of a sudden, in the midst of a long list of similar jokes comes some really deep and wise things. For example:
Work to become, not to acquire.
He who thinks only of number one must remember that this number is next to nothing.
War doesn’t determine who is right, but who is left.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
So, a big shout out to Sharon Nunn. Thanks for the new supply!
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