My Friend’s Impossible Week

This week is a big week for my friend, so I felt that I needed to step up my morning joke game for the occasion. I failed.

Me: What do you call it when 7 Austrian children get you to commit a crime?

My Friend: I have no idea.

Me: Von Trappment

My Friend:......sigh

Undeterred, I forged on with:

Me: I heard on the news that Amazon will start delivering custom made shirts to your house within 48 hours.

My Friend: ?

Me: The program is called...Tailor Swift

My Friend: You just aren’t right...

At this point I probably should have dropped it and moved on to trying to encourage her in other, more productive ways. But I didn’t.

Me: Who was the fattest Knight at King Arthur’s Roundtable?

My Friend: I have a feeling you’re gonna tell me.

Me: Sir Cumference

My Friend: Crickets...

Me: Why don’t you ask me how he got so fat?

My Friend: Crickets...

Me:  Too much Pi

My Friend: Sweet Jesus, help me.

The reason today is a big day for my friend is business related. She has a long time client in another city who has 175 employees. Once a year, my friend travels there to conduct open enrollment, since she handles all of the company’s group health, life and dental benefits. She has been nervous about this day since her cancer diagnosis, being careful to schedule it during an “off-chemo” week. It will take four days to complete. It will be a grind. Because of her illness, she hasn’t worked a full day since the middle of September. I have big doubts as to whether or not she should even attempt such a thing. She will be helped tremendously by a dear friend and business associate who she splits this case with. Still, sitting down with 175 employees over four days is a bear of a job even when you’re healthy. But, she will not listen to reason. She is stubborn as a mule. So off she goes this morning.

This is how I know that my friend is going to beat cancer. When I was arguing with her about the wisdom of doing an open enrollment for this many people she informed me that she had to do it because this company and these people have been great clients for over 15 years and they feel like an extended family to her. She loves them, in other words. So she will put on a fancy hat, throw on a dazzling smile and get after it for the next four days, cancer or no cancer.

Tough. Determined. Committed. Stubborn.

...and absolutely no sense of humor!!