But then I think, too bad, I’m going to publish them anyway. Its not my fault that the world is full of idiots with weapons. I’m getting annoyed with how often some whack job is given permission to steal my joy by shooting an innocent in cold blood. I’m either going to have to stop reading the news or get better at compartmentalizing. Since I can’t resign from the human race, I’m left with storing all of this mindless killing away in a dark corner of my brain and plowing forward with trying to be a blessing to someone every day. For me, part of that is trying to make people smile, laugh, or at the very least, roll their eyes. So…
What do you call a spinal manipulator from Egypt?
A Cairo-practor
What is brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre
Two nudists were discussing politics. One says to the other, “Have you read Marx?”
The other nods, “It’s these blasted wicker chairs.”
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, “First offender?”
She says, “No, your honor. First a Gibson! Then a Fender.”
Why did the grim reaper get his eyesight checked?
He was worried about his death perception.
A blond teenager brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents and they were appalled at his behavior and attitude. After he left they said to her, “Honey, I don’t think he was very nice at all!” The blond teenager turns to her parents and says…
“If he wasn’t very nice at all, then why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
What’s the difference between cats and commas?
Cats have claws at the end of their paws, but commas are the pause at the end of a clause.
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