Ten Years

Today was an eventful day in my business. It was the tenth anniversary of when Kristin Reihl came to work for me. Right before I went to work that day Pam warned me with a firm, “Don’t scare her off on her first day!!” Well, to the astonishment of practically everyone who knows me, not only did I not scare her off, she has hung around for an entire decade. This morning I brought her flowers, a Visa card and one of those blank cards where you can write your own message. Mine said, “Thanks for not quitting.”

Recently I have been reminded of how much of a slacker I have been as her employer. For one thing, in all the ten years she has worked for me I have never had a performance review with her. Recent events have brought this failing to light. A couple of months ago my friend asked if I would be willing to allow her to work for him a couple days a week. I agreed since I am slowing down my operation somewhat and Kristin wanted more hours anyway so…win, win. Well, my friend runs a much tighter ship and as proof she showed me the three page questionnaire she had to fill out in preparation for her first Quarterly Review. Here I’ve gone ten years with no reviews, and she’s already preparing for her first with my friend! I certainly felt a little bit inadequate. So I told her that it had inspired me to come up with a questionnaire of my own for her to fill out. Upon hearing this news she gave me one of her patented eye rolls, certain that I was just joking. Imagine her surprise a few days later when she was presented with this…

Quarterly Performance Review.

Question #1

How has your experience this past quarter increased your admiration for me?

Question #2

Which part of your job do you love the most?

A. Having to constantly remind me about stuff I’ve forgotten.

B. Listening to my hilarious dad Jokes

C. Correcting my rare mistakes

Question #3

Which swear words have you utilized the most often this past quarter. Why?

Question #4

Which of my amazing characteristics are your favorite?

A. Good Looks

B. Dad Joke Proficiency 

C. Organizational brilliance

D. Superior Mental Acuity

E. All of the above

Question #4

When did you first realize that I was the best boss you have ever had?

I would publish her answers but if I did I would be in violation of HIPAA laws and whatnot, but needless to say, there was more than one snarky remark tossed around along with several over the top eye rolls. But despite her outward show of disdain, I could tell that on the inside she knows how truly lucky she has been to work for such a solid professional for all these years. Actually, she’s planning on using that Visa card thing I gave her to pay for a visit to a therapist!