Life Was Easier When it Was Harder

Like most people I have a smart phone. This one has a smart calendar which displays itself towards the end of one month and the beginning of the next month. Yesterday, for example, I was informed that the month of May is LBGTQ+ month. I had no idea that was even a thing. I am up to speed on what each initial stands for but not sure what the plus sign represents, however I am 100% certain that I will be informed over the next 31 days of relentless awareness-building. But this was not the only surprising thing I learned about the month of May. I was reminded that my two kids both have birthdays in May…and they will both be squarely in their mid-30’s. How, in the name of all that is holy, did this happen?

 

It feels like only a couple of weeks ago when they were in Little League, just a few days ago we were moving them into dorm rooms, and fifteen minutes ago when they got married. Time flies when you’re living life.

Last night we brought dinner over my in-laws to celebrate my father-in-law’s 86th birthday. After dinner we sat around talking and I asked him some questions about his life. Its something I learned when we were caring for dad after Mom passed away. There is a world of wisdom swimming around inside our parent’s heads. It serves us well to mine it well while we still have the chance. Anyway, I pointed out that he had lived through almost nine decades on this Earth. I asked him which decade of his life was his favorite, and which one was the most difficult. His answers were quite instructive.

For the best decade he picked the years when he was in his late 40’s and early 50’s. He had hit his stride in his career, able to provide for his family, and his three girls were in middle and high school. His every spare moment was taken up with a series of volunteer positions at his church, which included everything from grown-up adult committee assignments, to bringing to life the unforgettable Mario Pepperoni character when he worked in the Youth department. I found it interesting that his favorite memories of life came from a time when he was the busiest.

But when I asked him about the hardest decade he said something especially wise, “I don’t really remember having a hard decade.”

Its funny. I asked my own Dad that same question late one night when he was in the hospital a year or so before he passed away and got virtually the same answer. His favorite decade turned out to be the years when he was working graveyard shifts and attending college and seminary while trying to raise four kids—in other words, the most insane and chaotic time of his life. When I asked him about the hardest decade I thought he would say when he was serving in WWII in the South Pacific in 120 degree heat, but no. I got the same words…I didn’t really have any hard decades, just different.

What about me? What about you?

The only thing I’m sure about is that life seemed easier for me when it was…harder. When you’re busy trying to make ends meet you don’t have time to sit around gazing at your navel, thinking things to death. You don’t have the luxury of introspection. You ponder less, do more. 

There’s a lesson in there somewhere.