Moving Day

Today is the big day. The moving van guys show up at 9:00. Over the last two days we have packed up tons of boxes, and filled my car up with five loads of them. We have mopped floors, cleaned bathrooms, vacuumed carpets...and have the sore hamstrings and tight backs to prove it. I have endured the soul-crushing traffic on the aptly named, Hardscrabble Road, ten times in two days. In the four years that Jon and Kaitlin have lived in this rental house, the aforementioned city street has been under construction, and in those four years I have yet to determine to what end. Honestly, there are several traffic cones that have spider webs on them. Still, after 48 months of pointless destruction and the eternal meanderings of menacing earth moving equipment, the road still gets reduced to one lane during the peak traffic hours of each day. The guy who holds the sign that says STOP on one side and SLOW on the other was a teenager when we first met. Now he has a receding hairline and a beer gut. But...I digress.

First item of business this morning will feature me taking Jackson across town to a friend’s house for a play date with a husky puppy. These friends are the same ones who will be bringing us our Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, just two of the amazing people that make up Jon and Kaitlin’s life group from Midtown Church. If Jackson makes it over there without throwing up all over the inside of my Cadillac I will consider it a major victory and a giant middle finger to 2020. 

Two jokes:

Hear about the Pharmaceutical company that has combined a laxative with alphabet soup?

They call it....Letter Rip.

What do you call a long line of men waiting for a haircut?

A barberque.

Oh...and then there’s this:

So great. The perfect photograph for 2020, right here. Taken somewhere in London, I think. This brave women, with a crude handmade sign, sums up what’s really going on out there. You might be asking, Yes, but the cop’s hat is blocking out some crucial information. Really? I don’t think so. Do you honestly need any other information besides Electr and Microwave to know that this woman has hit the proverbial nail on the head? Just when we were getting close to stumbling on the truth about the...microwave thing...along comes COVID. How convenient. Coincidence? This woman doesn’t think so. And she took the time to make a really cool sign to let the rest of us in on the truth that the big shots at the power companies and the big shots at the microwave companies don’t want us to know. There’s biological damage, for the love of God!