Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Man, Was I Wrong!

In a recent blog entitled Handicapping The Democratic Field, I offered my opinion on what the odds were of each of the candidates winning their Party’s nomination. In light of the results from Super Tuesday, one thing is clear. I should not give up my day job.

On the plus side, I did correctly gave Amy Klobuchar the longest odds at 30:1 and she is officially gone. I did give Bernie Sanders the best odds at 5:1 and although his results weren’t what he was hoping for, he is still one of the two remaining front runners. Which leads me to my worse take...the other front runner, Joe Biden. My remarks about Uncle Joe are impossible to spin. I said:

Biden entered this contest as the odds on favorite. He alone commands the mantle of his predecessor. He alone had the establishment’s full throated backing. And he is toast

Apparently, there is still quite a market for very old, very white men who have lost an awful lot on their fast ball. The Democratic Party primary voters don’t seem at all put off by his rambling, incoherent stump speeches, his temporary lapses of memory, and that incandescently blinding set of white teeth. 

At this hour Elizabeth Warren, who once upon a time was actually the front runner of this race, is now reassessing her campaign. Rumors are flying that fellow left winger Bernie Sanders will offer her the VP slot to unite the progressives against Biden. But people high up in the Warren campaign were quick to point out that their candidate was not interested in the number two spot and besides, her people naturally are hesitant to enter in to agreements with white men.

Another grave error I made was in my overestimation of the candidacy of Mike Bloomberg. Although the dude spent $500,000,000 he only won one contest...American Samoa. There is an awesome joke in there somewhere.

So, now I have to contemplate a contest between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. Wow. Almost beyond comprehension, if you want to know the truth. I will not attempt a prediction of the outcome. But I will say this...I better not hear any of my Trump supporting, conservative Christian friends make any disparaging remarks about Biden’s history of awkward, hands-y behavior with women down through the years. I’m thinking you guys should probably sit that one out!

Hey, maybe we’ll all get lucky and the Coronavirus will wipe us all out before we have to vote!

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