Yesterday around noon we arrived at the lake greeted by fabulous blue skies and sunshine. The breeze coming off the water made us feel a chill as we got out of the car. The thermometer said it was 74, but with no humidity and that fresh lake breeze it felt colder. We introduced Lucy to the place and she was ecstatic. Then we decided to eat our lunch before unpacking the car. We had stopped at the always dependable Fraternity General Store and picked up some sandwiches. Before lunch I took a couple pictures.
Then we sat about unloading the car. Ten minutes in to this enterprise, I reached into the back of the car for something and felt a knifing pain in my back. I froze in place and waited. Then a spasm…then another. A few minutes later I was laying on the hardwood floor with my knees pulled to my chest trying to make it stop.
There is never a good time to throw out your back. But some times are far worse than others. This was one of the those times. Lucky for me I am married to a calm cool and collected women who always seems to know exactly what to do in situations like this. As I lay on the floor fearing the worse she was busy unloading the car by herself all the while devising a plan. She presents me with a post-it note with the address and phone number of a Walgreen’s in Belfast, Maine and the phone number of the Short Pump Patient First with these instructions: “Call them and explain the situation and ask them to call in a muscle relaxer prescription.” Brilliant.
I call and am connected to a sympathetic and cheerful nurse who pulls up my extensive record of back pain related visits. “Ahhh,” she says knowingly, “You seem to have a history of this sort of thing. I see a visit in 2017, 2018, and two visits in 2020, all for muscle spasms,” as if I was about to win some repeat customer award or something. Then a worrisome sigh and the words you don’t want to here when you’re laying on the floor fighting off back spasm’s on day one of your six week vacation, “Unfortunately…”
Because it had been over a year since I had been treated for back issues, they would not be able to call me in a prescription. The fact that I had been treated for back spasms at that particular location more times than Britney Spears has been in rehab made no difference to what was apparently a mandate from corporate. We were then forced to launch Plan B.
Pam drove into Belfast to make our first grocery run with strict instructions that I was to stay in bed and “do nothing until I get back.” Luckily, I am ideally suited for such a task. Lucy and I made ourselves as comfortable as possible and waited for Super Woman’s return. When she arrived back at the house, she brought with her an ice pack thing that you can strap unto your back via a Velcro belt, along with a heating pad with a built in massager. Then she handed me a cold Baxter Stowaway IPA and deadpanned, “Here’s your muscle relaxer.” The woman is gold.
So this morning I sit here in my rocking chair drinking my coffee, feeling the warmth and vibrations of the Relax-o-Matic 2000 Deluxe model 2, with the Mister Freeze Relief Belt warming up in the bullpen. So far, no spasms and except for a a little tightness, I seem on the mend.
Today is a new day.
No comments:
Post a Comment