Me: Hey Pup. How have you been this week?
Pam: Doing ok my friend. How about you?
Me: Not bad…except I had a colonoscopy yesterday.
Pam: That go ok?
Me: You know me, I struck up a conversation with the anesthesiologist. I asked her, “How long have you worked at this clinic?” She said, “About a year. I’ve been with field medical teams my entire career. This is the first time I’ve settled down in a clinic and the first time I’ve been in gastrointestinal.” I relied, “I see. So, after all those years in the field, how do you like working in an orifice?”
Pam: Geez, Doug!
….long pause
Pam: Did you get a good report? No polyps?
Me: GOTCHA!!!!!
Pam: ……you are such a punk!!
Me: Seriously though, yesterday my daughter Kaitlin was telling me about cheetahs and how skittish and nervous they are. They require a lot of attention and sometimes in zoos they even have a companion dog to help keep them calm.
…another long pause
Me: Turns out, without a lot of care, cheetahs never prosper.
Pam: It’s awfully early for this nonsense, Douglas.
Me: You know, as I’ve told you before, poop jokes aren’t my favorite kind of jokes.
…yet another long pause
Me: But, they’re a solid number two!!
Pam: (twenty eye-roll emojis)
Me: Your kids ever play The Oregon Trail when they were little? Mine did.
Pam: …….???
Me: You meet a man on the Oregon Trail, the man says his name is Terry. “Terry? That’s a girls name”, you laugh. Terry shoots you.
Pam: ….sigh
Me: You have died of dissin Terry.
Pam: Ok, I’ve had enough.
What a great way to start the day!!
No comments:
Post a Comment