Wednesday, June 16, 2021

Morning Conversation

It had been several days since I had texted my friend in Buena Vista, so I knew her guard would be down. I just couldn’t resist…

Me: Hey Pup. How have you been this week?

Pam: Doing ok my friend. How about you?

Me: Not bad…except I had a colonoscopy yesterday.

Pam: That go ok?

Me: You know me, I struck up a conversation with the anesthesiologist. I asked her, “How long have you worked at this clinic?” She said, “About a year. I’ve been with field medical teams my entire career. This is the first time I’ve settled down in a clinic and the first time I’ve been in gastrointestinal.” I relied, “I see. So, after all those years in the field, how do you like working in an orifice?”

Pam: Geez, Doug!

….long pause

Pam: Did you get a good report? No polyps?

Me: GOTCHA!!!!!

Pam: ……you are such a punk!!

Me: Seriously though, yesterday my daughter Kaitlin was telling me about cheetahs and how skittish and nervous they are. They require a lot of attention and sometimes in zoos they even have a companion dog to help keep them calm.

…another long pause

Me: Turns out, without a lot of care, cheetahs never prosper.

Pam: It’s awfully early for this nonsense, Douglas.

Me: You know, as I’ve told you before, poop jokes aren’t my favorite kind of jokes.

…yet another long pause

Me: But, they’re a solid number two!!

Pam: (twenty eye-roll emojis)

Me: Your kids ever play The Oregon Trail when they were little? Mine did.

Pam: …….???

Me: You meet a man on the Oregon Trail, the man says his name is Terry. “Terry? That’s a girls name”, you laugh. Terry shoots you.

Pam: ….sigh

Me: You have died of dissin Terry.

Pam: Ok, I’ve had enough.


What a great way to start the day!!

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