Disturbing Photographs

So, a couple days ago I saw a news story about a small plane that had crashed killing seven passengers. Among the dead, I was told, were an actor and someone who was described as a Christian Diet Guru. Against my better judgment and giving in to my base curiosity, I clicked on the story. What I discovered was, er...it was, how shall I say...there are no words.

I must here confess that before this plane went down I had never heard of either of these two. The Christian Diet Guru is the one on the left, a Gwen Shambling Lara. The man on the right is an actor whose most famous role was that of Tarzan in the television series The Epic Advetures of Tarzan, which somehow I managed to miss back in the early 90’s.

I am fully aware that one should never speak ill of the dead, and I understand that what I’m about to say might be offensive to some but...what the actually hell?

Look...I am an unashamed and unapologetic follower of Jesus Christ, but why was my very first reaction to this photograph, “Well, of course she is a Christian Diet Guru!!!”

This poor woman looks like an anorexic Barbie Doll who is probably single-handedly responsible for the depletion of the ozone layer of our planet, there being enough hairspray on that head to withstand a stage 5 hurricane. And, if Tarzan there had anymore Botox in that face he might never blink again! (And I think that he is wearing the bow tie from my junior prom tuxedo). Unfortunately, this image right here is what far too many people have of modern Christianity, a bunch of tan-in-a-can, herbal supplement selling, self-help life coaching, Hollywood D-lister wannabes. Don’t believe me...?

I’m told that the woman in this photograph, Jan Crouch, co-founder of Trinity Broadcasting, recently went to her heavenly reward. Reports are that her hair arrived three days later.

I feel some obligation to say to the non-Christian world out there that...no, we don’t all look this superficially goofy. Most of us, I dare say, don’t even own a can of hairspray.

It occurs to me that some of you reading this might have benefitted from the weight loss powers of Mrs. Lara. Others may be in fact, Living Your Best Life Now, courtesy of the ministrations of Mr. Osteen. If so, I’m happy for you.

But sometimes I just wish that a prominent Christian voice would come along who doesn’t look like they could either be an alien life form or...possessed by the devil...