Bern: Did you know that the earthworm is one of millions of kinds of worms? And they’re not even native to the US. Once they arrived here they had already taken over the rest of the world. It was called...global worming.
Ok, up until this point, the poor girl had only been on the receiving end of the various puns and dad jokes I routinely send out. Now, she had inexplicably decided to go on offense. Her next text was informative as to her state of mind...
Bern: I’m really thrilled to be on this side!
At this point I still wasn’t sure what was happening. Then this:
Bern: Nematodes, a type of worm, make up four fifths of ALL animals in the world. When they fall in love, they’re called soil mates.
Wait...was this child challenging me to a pun-off??
Bern: I once saw 2 silkworms get in a race. It ended in a...tie.
Yes. Bernadette was challenging me. She was boldly walking into my family domain. Obviously, I had to do something and fast!
Me: ...of course you know this means war.
How did the earth room react to being cut in half?
....he was beside himself.
What is an earthworm’s favorite food?
...wormicelli.
My dad had a earthworm farm once. He named all the worms Jason. When I asked him why he answered...
“because they’re all bait, man.”
Where do earthworm’s play baseball?
....Wiggly Field
Bern: Darn. That was good...
Gotta hand it to her though. The kid has guts. She’s going to fit into this family quite nicely.
I just hope she doesn’t try to compete with me in the one area where I currently have no rival...the after dinner belch.
Poor Isaac...
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