Reward the Things You Want More Of

As I get older, I have developed an intolerance for mean people. Rudeness and condescension bother me more than they used to. People who have known me the longest might suggest that I used to be rude and condescending at times, and they would be right! I like to think that with age and maturity, along with the help of the Holy Spirit I have been able to eliminate some of my earlier habits. Still, there are times when I can be dismissive and rude, but when it happens I immediately recognize it and apologize. But this blog is not about me, its about the roll that manners play in the business world. For me it trumps almost everything else. Let me give a couple of examples.

In Camden there are lots of gift shops. Some cater to higher end tastes and wallets, some feature kitschy stuff. Our favorite has always been The Smiling Cow. But…why? They aren’t the cheapest. They aren’t the biggest with the most variety. So, what is it? Its simple really…friendly, courteous people. Each time we walk through the doors of that place we are treated by smiling, happy people, eager to help us find what we need. If they are out of something they offer to order it for us. A couple of weeks ago I went in to buy a load of stuff for Pam’s 60th birthday. As I was piling it up on the counter, the owner, Meg, says, “Is this for Pam’s 60th? You cant just give her this stuff in a bag. Let us wrap these up nice for her. Leave them here, come back in 30 minutes and they will be ready.” I did and they were, beautifully wrapped in gorgeous paper. I’m not even sure she charged me because I never look at a receipt anymore. That’s another thing, we can get some of the same things a few doors down at one of their competitors for less money. We hardly ever shop there because the people who ring up your order look like they hate nothing more than having to deal with me. “Oh great…another customer!” The difference is like night and day. I’m done doing business with rude people. If I have to pay a little more, so be it.

There are also more than a couple lake house rental operations in town. We have used several of them, but once we found On The Water In Maine, we found our place. The other guys feature a process that eliminates personal interaction. You pick up a packet at the office where nobody is ever there. All interaction is via email and automated telephone service. By contrast, OTWIM has the most adorable office you’ve ever seen, with people who’s purpose in life seems to me my happiness and enjoyment of Maine. If and when something goes wrong—washing machine marks up the clothes, gas grill grate is rusted over—a solution shows up at your door within minutes of your call it seems. There’s no arguing back and forth, they just fix it! They appreciate our business and want us to remain customers forever, so they do whatever it takes. Wouldn’t you rather have that than being able to save a few bucks with someone you don’t even know?

I want to do business with good people, with people who appreciate me, folks who take pride in what they do. Everyone from the guy I rent kayaks from—Dan the Kayak Man with Ducktrap Kayaks, to the place where I buy t-shirts and hats. I want good people to prosper. The price? Who cares?! The difference between price and value is the difference between a relationship and a mere economic transaction. Shop where the people know your name. Use chain stores as a last resort. Reward the kind of behavior you drill into your kids, kindness and courtesy. There’s plenty of it out there, if you know where to look!

Golfing With Doug

So, one of the things I do up here is play golf. This is an activity which I have ironically almost given up back home, but up here all I have is time to do whatever I want, and how great is it to walk 18 holes without breaking a sweat? I play early in the morning when its normally in the low 60’s, and I’m finished by 9:30. I mean seriously…there’s no excuse not to play. 

My golf course of choice is the delightful Rockland Golf Club. They are always accommodating with sending me out first thing in the morning and they have really nice rental clubs. The ones I had today were brand new. Back in Richmond, Doug Greenwood is always ragging on me for playing with 30 year old clubs. “Why don’t you try playing with golf clubs made after the Reagan administration,” he always says. Well, after today I must say that he has a point. These clubs were amazing…

However, the day began with a bad omen. Since I don’t bring my own golf gear along on this trip I have to not only rent clubs but also buy tees and balls. I usually buy whatever is the course ball in the big basket on the counter….

Chaos proved to be an apt description of my round. Started off with a huge drive off the first tee, followed by three consecutive fat irons, ending with an inglorious 7. I spent the entire round trying to figure out these new fangled irons, finally discovering that I needed to choke up a full inch. Once I did that I consistently hit almost every one of them a mile…only problem was each shot was ten to fifteen yards over the intended target! 



Yes, as a matter of fact I did have 23 putts on the back nine and 40 for the round. It was not the fault of the very stylish and brand new putter, more like user error. Alert golfers will notice that I only hit four fairways and seven greens. In other words, I did what I do best…scrambled. Hit some of the most amazing recovering shots from some of the worst places ever! Had a blast though. It should also be noted that I started the round with five golf balls and played the last two holes with the last of them. If you’re keeping score at home that’s four penalty strokes! Chaos indeed!

A couple more observations about life in Maine. 

First, every crossroads that calls itself a “town” up here has one of these…

The General Store. In Maine it always includes a kitchen that makes pizza, baked goods like whoopie pies, and Italian sandwiches. The one in this picture is in Hope, Maine. But there are plenty others close by. The towns of Searsmont, Union, Lincolnville Center, Belmont, Owl’s Head, and Morrill all have their own. The sandwiches and pizza they make are amazingly good. In fact, I’m picking up one tonight from the Fraternity General Store in Searsmont for dinner. 

Another thing, most people when they think of the Maine coast thing of the rocky shores and lighthouses and such. What most don’t realize is how mountainous it is here, so close to the ocean. I took this picture on the drive home from playing golf today not five miles from our lake house…

This is the view from Moody Mountain. Somewhere out there is the lake.

One more thing. Pam decided to take Lucy along with her on a paddle board trip all the way across the lake. That long house in the distance is a place we call the Dance Hall and its probably a third of a mile over there. 

When Lucy returned she was hardly even breathing hard! She is a water baby like none other.

These Two Women

I had just dropped Kaitlin and Jon off at the Portland airport. It was 10:00 o’clock in the morning. I knew that Pam was still fighting back tears back at the lake. This is always what happens whenever one of them leaves. We had a wonderful week of perfect weather with them and we both feel grateful to have had them here, but when they leave there is always a sadness that lingers for a while. It’s a parent thing, I suppose. On the drive back to the lake I spent part of the time listening to a podcast that Kaitlin had recommended, but the rest of the time I thought about her…and her mother.

These two women have a connection to each other that I suppose only mothers and daughters have. I can’t describe it because I have never experienced it, this mysterious thing between them. Although they are both alike in many ways, they are not carbon copies of each other, a very good thing. But, they understand each other, they get each other. The one on the left made me a man when she married me. Most of the successes I have enjoyed have been because I was trying my best to make her proud of me, trying to live up to the promises I made her in that church in front of all those people all those years ago. The one on the right made me a father, handing me the hardest, most demanding job I’ve ever had before or since. She tried her best to prepare me for what it would be like two years later to become a father to a boy. Although she doesn’t belong to me, or anyone else for that matter, she and her brother remain my most prized possessions. Whenever I have a bad day, I always think about them, and in doing so it reminds me of the things in my life that I have gotten right, the very best I have done.

Now, we have six days of relative quiet until Patrick and Sarah arrive. I will once again make the hour and forty-five minute drive to the Portland airport. I will hope for more good weather. We will cherish every minute we get with them because the return trip to Portland will come way too soon. Lucy will be thrilled to have them all to herself without Frisco along to distract them. We will do anything the kids want to do while they are here. It’s their vacation after all.

But until then it will be the three of us here soaking up the rejuvenating vibe of this magical place…

Delightful Belfast

Today is Kaitlin and Jon’s last full day with us. We have been packing each day with fun stuff while enjoying some of the finest weather that the State of Maine has to offer. Kaitlin—being her mother’s daughter—has a list of things to check off before she leaves, so we have been accommodating her. We took them to Owl’s Head light house, she devoured a lobster roll at Hazel’s, ice cream at Riverduck’s, and has learned how to cross-stitch in the evening with her mother. Later today we are going on a three hour cruise on The Lively Lady out of Camden harbor to see another lighthouse, followed by dinner at Peter Ott’s.

A few nights ago on a whim we all piled in the car and drove into Belfast for ice cream at the Wild Cow Creamery. In doing so we knew we were giving up what promised to be yet another stunner of a sunset on the lake, but when ice cream calls we must answer. It was a magical decision.

Belfast continues to amaze us. For us it is one half of the twin cities of Midcoast Maine. While Camden has always been our favorite, the more time we spend here the more we have come to appreciate the unique charms of Belfast. It is a different town with a real working harbor, more blue collar, less old money. But it is possibly the most accommodating coastal town in all of Maine. The place is shot through with people-friendly shops, walkways and parks. Everywhere you turn there are chairs, picnic tables, gazebos all bearing witness to glorious harbor views…

Of course, old favorite Owl’s Head never fails to delight…

So, tomorrow we will take them to the airport and send them back into the world. There will follow three or four days of rest and recovery before Patrick and Sarah arrive. Then we will do it all over again. 

Can’t wait!

Dinner Hour

When Kaitlin and Jon arrived they brought sensational weather with them. The past three days have been stellar with light breezes, clear skies, no humidity and high temperatures around 80. Consequently we have spent most of our days outside either on the lake, in it, or sitting around gazing at it. There has been fishing, kayaks, paddle boards, power boat rides, floating and swimming. We’ve gone in to Camden once for breakfast and a couple hours of shopping. All of this fresh air has resulted in a vitalization of our taste buds. Everything taste better at the lake. No where is this phenomenon more evident than at dinner.

The last three nights we have eaten dinner around 7:30 or so outside at the table on the deck. First of all you will note the late dinner hour. There are several reasons for this but none of them make much sense. Part of it is that time flies up here. By the time someone thinks to ask what time it is the answer is “Quarter after one”, to which we all say, “Whattt?? So, we end up eating lunch at 1:30. Then, around the time we would normally eat dinner, everybody is floating on the lake and too annoyed by the prospect of having to remove ourselves from the flotation devices long enough to make dinner. So, we bargain with each other saying, “well, we just had lunch like five minutes ago…” The end result is that by the time we have found the motivation to start making dinner its dang near 8 o’clock before its served and we are all starving. The payoff is…everything is delicious. Last night I grilled some chicken and Pam and Kaitlin made this insanely glorious salad thing with grilled corn, tomatoes, some sort of homemade basil dressing and crouton-sized chunks of rosemary and olive oil infused bread which had been cooked on the grill. Essentially a bread salad. Not sure what it sounds like, but I am here to testify that it tasted better than any salad I have ever eaten.

After dinner we all ventured out on the still as glass lake in an assortment of crafts to watch the sunset from the middle of the lake so we could see the 360 degree perspective. I could show you a dozen or more pictures of the explosion of color. I could attempt to describe how amazing it was when a swarm of swallows flew overhead, the humming sound their wings made as they flew past. But I will only include one picture. It perfectly captures the magic of the moment. It also serves as a reminder of why we do this, why we spend so much money to spend six weeks up here. Nobody loves this more than Pam Dunnevant…

The Corruption Begins

The heat wave is over. This morning at 5:23 I woke up to 59 degrees and crystal clear blue skies. Immediately I climbed the ladder to the loft bedroom, stumbled around in my suitcase to find the long sleeve t-shirts I had packed, then came back downstairs to close all the windows. Now I’m sitting here drinking my coffee watching this…

Yes, that’s a loon to the left of the dock. There’s a family of them who have decided that our cove is their home, which ordinarily would be a wonderful thing, but because Lucy seems determined to make friends with them at every opportunity, we must all stay on high alert. Speaking of Lucy, her life just keeps getting better and better. Yesterday afternoon, Kaitlin and Jon arrived, doubling the number of people here devoted to making Lucy’s life as wonderful as possible. Usually when K&J come they have Jackson in tow, but up here Lucy gets them all to herself and she is thrilled…

This photograph is notable because Lucy is not known as a snuggler. She always stays close to her people but also likes her space. But she has been Miss Lovey Dovey on this trip, especially with Jon.

Last night, after a wonderful dinner, the rain storm that had blown through earlier in the day began to clear out so Pam and the kids went out for their first sunset paddle of the week while Lucy and I fished from the dock…

Now, if I am being honest I have to admit that all is not moonlight and magnolias here. Once the paddle was over and everyone had showered and gotten into jammies, my daughter’s corrupting influence was brought to bear on my idyllic world. In what will certainly guarantee her a seventh consecutive LVV award*, Kaitlin prevailed upon my wife to…turn on the television…so they could watch…The bachelorette. I’m surprised they didn’t set up a group text with Bernadette back in Richmond to gab back and forth about the show. So, essentially Kaitlin hadn’t been here 6 hours before corrupting the place. Before her arrival, in 18 days the television had only been used once…to livestream our church service…(spoiler alert: The Bachelorette ain’t church). My daughter partially made up for this disturbance of the peace by finally giving me my Father’s Day present…

In honor of the truth of that statement I offer this:

What do you call a medieval spy?

Sir Veillance…

* Least Valuable Vacationer

Lucy vs. Loons

So…I did a thing that Mom and Dad were not happy about yesterday. I think they overreact way too hekkin much. Here’s what happen. You tell me if I wrong or they wrong.

It was nice day and I was chill on dock by myselfs…

Then, Mom comes down to say hey. I walk to front of dock and begin major sniff of wind. All of sudden a big floating bird ploops up right in front of me…ploop! These guys everywhere and they make crazy noises. But I never sees one so close before. Since I am a very good girl, I decides to make frens with birds that ploop up out of nowhere. I dive in the lake and swim to the big birds when I notice that there are two more birds now…a mom a dad and a pup. Now I super excited! So many new frens!! But then I hear Mom scream at me. She say, “Lucy, get back here, you no have vest!!” To make matter worse, new frens start screaming loud noises at me, raising out of water flapping huge hekkin wings. But I not afraid…I swim faster! I sure we will be great frens once we take proper smell of each other’s butt. Then I hear Mom scream to Dad for help. He taking napper and springs out of house in stupor saying…”what the heck??” He then jumps in kayak and start yelling at Lucy too…like everyone in world it seem! Soon he is along side me keeping me from my new frens…which I must say not seem very frenly. They squawk like fluffin crazy birds, make huge splashes in water. They drama birds.

Anyways, I make it back to dock and Mom give me talkin’ to about how ploop-up birds are not my friends.

Still…I keep sharp eye out.

No worries…I loves it here!!

Mom and Dad worries about me too much, I thinks.