Searching For New

For the past several years I’ve been confronted with a rather existential question concerning the nature of motivation, ie…what is it that motivates a person to get up every morning? What drives a person to continue the routines of life? For most of my adult life it has been a combination of financial necessity and a sense of responsibility. Like practically everyone else in the world, I wake up each day and go to work because work is necessary. Without work, there is no money and without money life becomes very difficult very quickly. But its more than that, I also go to work each day out of an overwhelming sense of the responsibility I feel for my clients and my reputation. It would not be a good thing for either if I suddenly stopped showing up at my job, instead choosing to lay about the house all day doing nothing. A lifetime spent building a reputation for reliability and competence would be destroyed by such laziness.

But, what happens when you get to the point where you no longer are driven by necessity? What happens when what you have been building all of your life gets built, when you discover that you no longer need to pursue money? Building anything, the construction of anything is far more exciting and inspirational than standing around admiring the finished product. 

When I was a young man, newly married and a brand new parent, a fire of urgency burned bright within me. I couldn’t wait to get to work because I was terrified that I might fail. I had a wife and kids counting on me to provide for them. Failure would have meant total humiliation as a man. So I needed no manufactured motivation to get me out the door every morning, I had plenty of the real thing—fear of failure. Although there were gigantic obstacles in my path and many setbacks along the way, I was able to overcome all of them one way or another. I had lots of help along the way, mentors who inspired me, friends who cheered me through downturns in my fortunes, and an amazing family. My faith in God sustained me through the darkest moments of the journey. Now, having built a business, I have entered the maintenance phase of the thing, a far less urgent endeavor and one that doesn’t exactly inspire great excitement.

So, what becomes the driving force to replace the fear of failure and ruin? This is the search I find myself in the middle of, trying to figure out next steps. Each year, my business takes less and less a share of my time, the end result of a meticulous plan set in place years ago to give myself more opportunities for other pursuits at this stage of life. I love writing and have done quite a bit over the last five years or so. Eventually, I intend on trying to get something published. That will be a construction project of sorts, the kind that takes renewed energy and purpose.

But, I also would like to spend the next 15 years or so helping young men and women, just starting out in business, find their way. I could encourage them through their setbacks, help them find courage when they endure the downturns in their fortunes. I think I would be good at it, actually. So, that’s a possibility. There’s another thing that I want to do. I want to get really good at generosity. Finding struggling people to help financially has always been extraordinarily satisfying to me, and at this stage of my life I’ve arrived at the point where I should be getting better and better at it. I want to make it a priority instead of an afterthought.

I firmly believe that every man needs a battle to fight, an obstacle to overcome, a problem to solve. Otherwise, life loses its challenge, and each day becomes a paler version of the day before. I’m determined to never let that happen.