So perhaps now we can reclaim our kitchen table…after we admire it for a few days.
Next is a mental health update with regards to Lucy. We have discovered a new psychosis in the ever-evolving Petri dish that is our Golden Retriever’s personality. As alert readers will recall, Pam received several smart plugs for Christmas which allows her to perform all sorts of tasks with a simple spoken command to Alexa. Now, practically every light fixture in the entire house comes on whenever we tell Alexa to turn on the lights. But, there’s a problem. In the millisecond just before the lights come on, the plugs emit a barely discernible (to human ears) crackling sound. We’re talking about a fraction of a second, and as I said, its barely even a sound. But when it comes to Lucy’s hypersonic super ears, it has become the signal to jump out of her skin and make a beeline upstairs! We have tried to explain the situation to her but she just sits there and looks at us like we have lost our minds. Its like she’s thinking…How many time I have woke up from dead sleep and stare at ceiling? Every time you say, “what she see?” even though it clear as day that I see evil monster. Now, the monster have voice. It name ALEXA and it take over house and taunt me all live long day while you at work. I only thing standing between you and ALEXA, and now you give her power of light! We are trying to walk the sweet girl through this fresh insanity, but prayers would be appreciated.
Finally, a few words about day three of the reading through the Bible in 90 days adventure. I am now knee deep into the bizarre world of the ancient patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, three fascinating but intensely weird human beings. Actually, Abraham and Isaac are fine—scary—but fine. I just can’t warm up to Jacob. I consider him a disaster in almost every conceivable way. He was a duplicitous brother, an absentee father, a cheating businessman, and totally incompetent in love. I mean, how drunk do you have to be to not be able to tell the difference between the alleged “love of his life” with her SISTER? I was talking about this with a friend recently and made the observation that I had always had a difficult time understanding the ancients. These guys had personal conversations with God like every five minutes. In them, God was constantly assuring them of how he was with them, would protect them, provide for them, make mighty nations out of their families. And yet, let these guys get fifty miles out of town and immediately they start lying about their wives, seemingly terrified that someone is going to steal and ravish them. This, despite the fact that each of them had a virtual harem of wives at their beck and call. I mean, each night it was like a conjugal buffet for these men!!
But then the strangest thing happens, something that makes this reading the Bible in 90 days so meaningful. Just about the time you’re feeling nice and smug about Jacob’s spiritual failings, you hear the slightest whisper somewhere in your heart saying something like this:
“Yes, they had many problems…but they had no written record of my words. You, on the other hand, have access to the Bible from your cell phone in 100 different languages, three dozen versions, complete with graphics, maps, commentaries and even audio versions featuring the voice of James Earl, Freaking Jones, and yet…YOU forget me all the time. No matter how many times I answer your prayers, no matter how many times I prove my faithfulness, eventually you forget all my promises.”
Its then that it dawns on you that whether or not it was 2000 BC or last week, the human heart hasn’t changed much. We are still prone to wander, prone to forget. We all need reminding. That’s what this time in God’s word is about for me. Its the great reminding.
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