How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
86. 12 to investigate Hillary Clinton’s involvement in the failure of the old bulb, 23 to deregulate the lightbulb business, and 51 to pass a tax credit for lightbulb changes.
Two. One to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
17. One to change the bulb, six to talk about how wonderful it’s going to be when the new bulb is screwed in, and ten to demand increased funding for solar lighting research.
Five. One to screw it in, and the other four to screw it up.
What do you call someone in Congress who is honest, caring, and well-read?
A tourist.
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