My Russian Problem

Day 25

This guy is big boy number two. I caught him last night around 8:15 after dinner, along with a couple decent sized lake trout. Then it got too dark to see the bobber. More fun than a barrel of monkeys. At that point there was only one thing we all could possibly think to do...go get ice cream.

There's an amazing little place in town called River Ducks. It sports this menu, which Pam has taken as a personal challenge. She fully intends to try each and every "Maine Inspired Flavor" on this menu before we come home!

A couple of odd notes...

When I woke up this morning after a fabulous night's sleep, I thought that one of two things had happened. Either Camden Cappuccino Crunch has regenerative powers that had miraculously healed my myopia overnight, or I had forgotten to take out my contacts. Unfortunately, it was the latter.

For no apparent reason, The Tempest has become quite popular in...Russia. For the past three days, I have gotten more page views from the land of Putin and Vodka than I have from the USA. Patrick suggests that it's probably something called a spam bot. Of course, his easy explanation ignores the very real possibility that my writing has hit a nerve in the Russian psyche. Is it so outlandish that the land that gave us Dostoevsky could warm to the stylings of my blog?? Patrick is sticking with spam bots. 

Still, what with all of the Russian involvement in the Wikileaks thing with the DNC, I shouldn't be too careful. If the Ruskies are in cahoots with Trump, my blog might be on some kind of enemies list. You know...the kind of blog that could reach an audience of hundreds with the subversive message that Donld Trump is a moron. Well, fear not readers...no matter what personal danger I might be placing myself in, my voice will NOT be silenced. Although...if I ever get arrested I fully expect all of you to set up a GOFUNDME thing to pay my bail.

The End Is Coming...but it ain't here yet.

Day 24

The kids fly back home tomorrow. Today was their last full day here. It has been everything that Pam and I were hoping it would be. And now that they are leaving, it's a bit sad for two reasons. First, we don't get very many opportunities to have them all together in the same house very often. Once during the summer, maybe for a few days at Christmas, and a fall weekend if everybody's schedule cooperates. So, these family times have become increasingly rare. But the real reason for sadness is that when they leave, we only have four more days left. These days have flown by.

But, there will be no whining and complaining. This has been an incredible month and we are lucky to have had the chance to come here. It has been a splendid getaway, more so than we ever dreamed possible. The fact is that God has been extrordinarily good to us, for reasons that remain a mystery to me. All I can think to be is grateful. 

We still have four more days, and I intend to wring every last drop of fun out of them. The rest of this vacation begins with tonight's dinner...a repeat of this...

An Adventure

Day 23

Yesterday, it was time for an adventure, so we all got into the car and drove into Camden for an Eco-Tour on the good ship, Lovely Lady. Although it was quite warm in town, once we got out into Penobscot Bay, the chilly air cooled us down. It was Sarah's first boat ride in twenty years. Early on, she looked confident...

Thirty minutes in, we were in the midst of four foot seas, and the both of them were soaked! Meanwhile, Jon and Kaitlin were the picture of chill...

The woman in pink was either our Homeland Security ranger doing an excellent imitation of a civilian, or...struggling with the early stages of sea sickness. Then this happened...

We got a tutorial on how to bring up a lobster pot and determine wether or not the lobsters are big enough to keep. We also learned how to tell the difference between male and female lobsters...hint...female lobsters get paid less than male lobsters for the same work!

The views alone on this tour were worth the money...

"Where the mountains meet the sea" is Camden's slogan. Well deserved.

By the time we got back to the lake, Miss Lucy had been cooped up for nearly four hours and was ready for one thing and one thing only...

This girl has become a water-maniac. With each new dive she gets even more air, and has developed quite a diving flair. Unfortunately, she also still has her flair for thunderstorm freak outs. A rather loud one rolled in around 3 am last night and she was not amused. But this morning has broken clear and fair, and our agenda contains:

1. Eat

2. Fish

3. Swim

4. Float

5. Kayak

6. Eat

7. Make snide remarks about Donald and Hillary

8. Read

9. Eat

I better get started...

Walking to Pushaw

It took me exactly an hour, this walk of mine, a unit of time which carries no meaning here. An hour? An hour of what? I left the lake house and made the slow climb up Meadow Lane, a narrow path of a thing which oddly qualifies as a "lane" in Knox County, Maine. Then I took a left unto the two lane dirt road, Crabtree Lane. The names of the roads...Meadow, Crabtree, Cove, and finally, Pushaw. 

There once was a time when the majority of roads in this country were dirt and gravel. Now, whenever you happen upon one, you immediately declare that you are in the boonies. Meadow Lane is the scary .31 miles that leads directly to the lake. It is a pile of rocks and dirt and drops probably 100 feet from beginning to end. There is one odd section where years ago someone thought about paving the thing. Maybe the money ran out, or someone got eaten by a bear while making the attempt, but now all that remains in a couple hundred feet of choppy blacktop.

Crabtree Lane is majestic, for a dirt road. Both sides are covered with deep woods, healthy stands of pines, maples and oaks. Every so often there is a birch tree with its feathery white bark, protected by statute here in Maine... like royalty. At the mile and a half mark there is a sweeping valley to the right, then at the end of long climb, an ancient hilly field of rolling grass and giant boulders. Making dotted lines through the landscape are several low stone fences constructed a century ago when there was some reason for their existence. Now they are grown over in spots, their stones black and covered with moss and the accumulated abuse of a hundred Maine winters. They are stubborn, aching things now...but they remain. I walk swiftly past them wondering what stories they could tell. 

Finally, the steep, weary climb up to Pushaw Lane, a climb that sets your lungs and thighs on fire on the way up, and everything else on fire on the way down. The sides of the roads on my walk are lined with Black-eyed Susans, ragweed, dandelions, and asiatic lilies. A more romantically inclined man might have remembered to bring scissors along to bring some home for his love. I make a mental note to bring scissors next time.

I stumble back down Meadow Lane, past the blueberry fields. I see the lake through the trees. Map My Fitness says I walked exactly four miles in exactly one hour. Such precision seems impossibly for such a place so untouched by most of modern life. The fact that I have such amazing cell phone coverage way out here is a bittersweet experience. After three weeks, I have become strangely protective of 67 Meadow Lane. Please world...leave this beautiful place alone. Please...

Lucy Finds Her Groove

Day 21

Lucy has made a discovery. Heretofore whenever we wanted her to jump into the water, ( in other words...when it was convenient and appropriate for us ), we would have to nudge her...ie...push, throw, heave. Once she was in she seemed to have great fun, but getting in required a great deal of persuasion. Not any more.

It happened when I decided to toss her favorite toy...her coveted frisbee, into the lake. Without any urging from us, she bolted headlong after her prize. Once this Rubicon was crossed, there has been no turning back. " Wait, is that Dad out there on the swimming float?" SPLASH! " Are those ducks I see a half a mile across the lake?" SPLASH! " Ooh...what's that green thing floating in the water?" SPLASH!

Watching this dog become enchanted with her newly discovered skill at swimming has been one of the many joys of this trip. The swimming vest we bought her helps her to relax while she's out there, but she no longer needs it...and she knows it! Any doubts we had about bringing her up here have been destroyed watching her frolic in Hobbs Pond. But...it hasn't all been moonlight and magnolias either. When Lucy spies another dog, any dog on the property, no boundary, obstacle or fortification will stop her from giving maniacle chase. If there are people at the adjacent camp about 500 feet to our left, she cannot be let off the leash or she will make a mad dash to introduce herself to half a dozen terrified geriatrics, or even worse, ten mothers with small children. Speaking of the camp next door...we're not entirely sure what's up over there. Their "camp" consist of one ramshackle cabin, an outhouse, and an impressive outdoor stone oven thing. It seems to have a different group of day visitors every day. Nobody ever seems to stay overnight. One day there will be 25 old people singing hymns, the next day a group of teenagers swinging on a very cool rope and splashing into the water. So, the place could simply be a place that gets rented out to groups for day trips, or it might be some sort of survivalist, quasi-religious commune with communist sympathies. Either way, I'm keeping a sharp eye out for any subversive behavior. Lucy just wants to party with them.

Today seems to be shaping up as another beauty, 80 and magnificent. We will spend it in some combination of frivolity and highjinks, then end the day in Camden having dinner together.

Editors note: My fishing has improved considerably since I started fishing late in the afternoon/evening. Several nice, 7 inch lake trout have been caught!

They're Here!!

Day 19

It occurs to me that we spend half of our lives waiting. When we were kids we waited for Christmas morning. When we were teenagers we waited to turn 18...then 21. We waited to find the one, we waited for kids, promotions, for our ship to come in. We waited for the kids we waited so long for to get their act together. We waited all day for them to fly into Portland, then because America has the worst airlines in the world, we waited...forever. But, good things come to those who wait, the sages told us. They were right. At 2:45 am this morning, I finally got them all home. Now, I'm waiting for them to wake up so I can show them this...

During all the waiting last night, I happened to catch some of Melania Trump's speech. My first reaction,( after, My God, what a stunning woman...), was that she makes more sense in her second language than her husband makes in his native tongue. It was only later when I discovered that several lines in her speech were dead ringers for lines spoken by Michelle Obama in her big speech to the Democratic convention in 2008. There are two possibilities here. One is that whoever wrote her speech flat out lifted those lines without attribution, an unpardonable sin in the age of Google. The second possibility is that the sort of things that potential First Ladies say when being introduced to the country are so inherently insipid, so full of boiler plate dreck about opportunity and challenges, that repetition is unavoidable. Still, the similarities in a couple of places were just too exact to be pure coincidence. But if after everything we have been through to get to this convention, this is what finally pisses us off...then we are insane.

And that is all I have to say about a former model made filthy rich by marrying a billionaire. I have bigger fish to fry...wait...did I just hear someone stirring upstairs????.

The Kids Are Coming!!!

Day 18

Today is travel day for the kids. Jon and Kaitlin will drive to Charlotte and catch a flight to Portland. Knowing my daughters luck with flights, their luggage will probably land in Portland, Oregon. Patrick and Sarah will fly from Nashville to Portland. I will pick them up, God willing, around 8 o'clock this evening. Pam and Lucy will be here at the house making preparations for the big reunion, which...because Pam is Pam...will include a welcome bag of Maine treats on their pillows and some sort of yet to be determined Maine snack upon their arrival. Good Lord, how I do love that woman!

The weather for the first four days of this week looks like something ordered up by the Camden Chamber of Commerce...upper 70's over middle 50's. Of course, it should be pointed out that weather forecasts around here are about as dependable as Bill Clinton's marriage vows. In one single day it isn't unusual for the weather forecast here to change three times. Seriously! The other day the forecast at 6 am called for cloudy skies with a chance of rain. By noon it declared the rest of the day sunny and clear. By evening, it warned of heavy fog. Which brings me to my golf experience yesterday...

I showed up at Rockland Golf Club for my 7:00 am tee time with grave doubts that I would be able to get even nine holes in. The clouds were low, thick and heavy and a light rain had already started to fall. But then, I got paired with three local Mainers, Sean, Greg and Essie. They were all in their thirties, all lifelong residents of Rockland, with the thickest, most hilarious Maine accents you've ever heard. They all assured me that it was only a "passing showah!!" So, off we charged, into the breach.

After six holes, I was wetter than Bill Clinton's hot-tub, soaked to the bone. Meanwhile, my local weather experts seemed unfazed by the deluge, constantly finding evidence in the clouds of pending sunshine. By the turn at 9, it looked more ominous than when we started, but my new buddies remained committed. "They're playing the British Open right now, right? It's the least we can do!"

These three guys were about as good a bunch of dudes as you could imagine being paired up with on a golf course. Sean was an excellent golfer, Greg and Essie, not so much. However, all of them played very quickly...always a bonus. Essie had the added benefit of being a stone cold, lead pipe ringer for a young Tom Cruise. It was uncanny! By the end of the round, all three of them had given me their cell phone numbers and told me to not even think about renting clubs when I play again..."just call one of us and you can borrow ours!" 

So now, I can cross- play an entire round of golf in pouring rain - off of my bucket list. As crazy as it seems, I had a blast! Didn't even keep a scorecard, just kept a running total of how many pars I had...six. My boys want to do it again next Sunday morning.

Yesterday afternoon on the float.

Lucy playing fetch in the lake.