Friday, November 19, 2021

A Strange Family History

She was only seven years old when it happened. It was in the summer, a dreadfully hot day. The breakfast dishes had been cleared off the table and piled high in the sink, flies buzzing around the table as her mother wiped it clean with a dishcloth. Edna Taylor was a large woman with an unruly head of hair which defied all attempts to keep it out of her face. Long strands fell this way and that as she cupped all the crumbs into her hand at the end of the table after a final swoop. Her seven year old daughter looked up at her from the door to the back porch, sensing that something wasn’t right. Edna looked worried and weak. 

“Lizzy, go on outside and play. Your mother needs some time alone. Run along!” Elizabeth heard the tone of her mother’s voice and understood it to be an order, not a suggestion. She bounded down the back steps and ran around to the front of the house where it was cooler. She looked down the field that sloped away from the great, white salt box house that went by the name of Blue Hill. The field of brown straw, scorched by the relentless summer sun, stretched all the way to the river. Elizabeth sat herself down on a stump of a tree that had been cut down earlier in the year after it had been struck by lightening. Edna had thought it a bad omen, a sign that her sick boy wasn’t long for this world. But that was months ago, and lately Chesty had seemed to be getting better. Elizabeth sat and watched the water drifting by slowly in the distance. She heard the whistle first then saw the Chesapeake and Ohio Railroad train coming up from Gladstone on the other side of the river. She could smell the smoke from the engine some days, but today the wind, what little there was, was headed in the wrong direction. Still, she watched the train until it disappeared, worrying about her mother and her sick brother. 

It was just the three of them this morning. All the men were working and wouldn’t be back until lunch when the kitchen would come alive with noise and fuss as her father, three brothers and older sister came back to the house to eat. It always irked Elizabeth that her father wouldn’t allow her to go with them. “You’ve gotta stay with Momma, Lizzy. What’s gonna happen if she needs help with Chesty,” he would explain. 

Chesterton Taylor had been born in 1925 and had surprised the doctors by surviving his first year, then surprised them every year since. He had been born with what they called a weak heart and wasn’t given much of a chance. The fact that he was now twelve years old had been a testament to either God’s grace or an extra helping of the famous Taylor stubbornness gene. It hadn’t been much of a life though, he having spent much of it bedridden and weak as water. Elizabeth loved him, felt sorry for him, and on some level envied him their mother’s attention, But even a seven year old knew not to admit to such a thing. 

Suddenly Elizabeth thought she heard crying. Had the sound of the train drowned it out? How long had she been crying? Where was she? She ran around the house and saw her sitting on the steps holding her head in her hands, sobbing, great anguished cries of despair and heartache. Elizabeth ran up and wrapped her tiny arms around her inconsolable mother. “What’s the matter, Momma? Is it Chesty?”

Edna buried her face in her apron, wiped away the tears then lifted Elizabeth into her lap. “Chesty passed away, Lizzy. His time for suffering is finally over, he’s gone home.”

“But, this is his home,” Elizabeth cried.

“No Lizzy. This is just our earthly home.”

Thus went the strangest conversation of young Elizabeth’s short life for fifteen minutes or so as she rocked back and forth in her mother’s strong arms, not understanding but taking comfort in her odd words. Then they both saw him.

Blue Hill was a house that rested at the end of a two mile one-lane dirt road that slithered down the middle of the 700 acre farm like a serpent. To the north lay cow pastures, a couple of barns and on the highest point, the family cemetery. To the south, fields of corn and soybeans and more barns. From the back steps of the house you could see a car approaching from half a mile away, a tail of dust billowing behind it with the soft rumble of a distant engine. Neither of them saw or heard him approach. They just looked up and there he was, the morning sun shining off his white three-piece suit. He wore a white boater hat and his brown wingtip shoes looked like they had just been buffed clean. Not a trace of dust. Sitting at his feet was a Jack Russell terrier, his pink tongue bouncing up and down. Neither Elizabeth nor her mother felt any fear at the strange sight of a man in a clean suit who seemed to have arrived out of nowhere. When they looked up at him he tipped his hat and smiled down at them. 

“Good morning, Mrs. Taylor. I can see you’ve been crying. What’s troubling you?”

Elizabeth had never seen a kinder smile or heard a more soothing voice. She felt warm inside as he spoke. She heard her mother’s anguished answer, “It’s my boy. He’s dead.”

The dog walked forward, jumped up in her lap, curled around and laid down. The man took off his hat as if to acknowledge their loss then said, “I know, Mrs. Taylor. I’m so sorry. It’s a terrible thing to lose a child, especially one who has been sick for so long.” He then walked over and sat down beside her on the step, he on one side and Elizabeth on the other, both holding on to her. They rocked back and forth together while the dog slept peacefully in her mother’s lap.

Elizabeth couldn’t remember how long he was there. Time was a difficult concept for a seven year old. It felt like a long time but it might have only been a few minutes. Regardless, his presence had a calming effect on her mother. She had stopped sobbing, was no longer shaking with the force of her grief. The tears had dried up by the time he left. He had stood up slowly. The dog jumped down from her lap and joined him. His parting words were simple, “The men will be back soon.” Then the two of them walked back up the road. Elizabeth watched them get smaller and smaller, noticed the dust that their feet kicked up as they walked along, saw the sun shining off his boater hat. 

When her father, brothers and sister returned for lunch, they all began crying at the news. They gathered around Chesty’s bed and wept. Rosemary, Elizabeth’s only sister, was particularly distraught, draping herself over his dead body while she wailed. Her brothers mostly stood at a distance, arms crossed stiffly over their chests, eyes rimmed with tears. Her father held his filthy hat in both hands, lower lip trembling for a minute until he got a hold of himself. Then he said, “Ok, that’s enough of that,” as he gathered everyone up, led them out of the bedroom and closed the door. Edna served lunch. Everyone ate slowly, in silence. Elizabeth had never seen her family do anything quietly. They were loud people, always hollering and screaming about one thing or another, not with anger or malice, they were just loud. They spoke to each other loudly, worked loudly, even ate loudly. The clatter and tumult were an incessant part of Elizabeth’s life. Now, the seven of them sat around the long oak kitchen table so quietly you could hear the stirring of fly’s wings.

“Did ya’ll see the man wearing the white suit?” Edna asked, breaking the silence. They all exchanged glances. Her father answered, “What man?”

“You must have passed him on the road,” she insisted. “He just left us thirty minutes before ya’ll drove up. He had a little dog with him.”

“We didn’t see a man or a dog on the road. Who was he?”

Edna insisted that they couldn’t possibly have missed a man with such a sharp suit and fine dog. She told them all about his visit and as she talked they all began exchanging worried glances. Finally, Edna dropped the subject and the silence returned. Later that night when she tucked Elizabeth in bed she whispered in her ear, “Lizzy, that man was an angel sent from God to comfort us. Don’t you ever forget it, ya hear?”

And, she hadn’t. But oddly, had never bothered to share the story with her son until now, the night before he was to undergo open heart surgery to repair a faulty mitral valve. As she sat on the end of his bed regaling him with yet another creepy paranormal family secret, it occurred to Montgomery Duncan that his mother’s family history was chocked full of this sort of thing, Blue Hill being a house shot through with Gothic mystery. He made a mental note that if he survived his pending procedure, he would attempt to get to the bottom of it all. There were so many unanswered questions about the Taylors, so many odd tales. The least interesting part of this particular story was the fact that the beautiful woman sitting at the end of his bed telling it had been dead and in the ground for eleven months, having died in her sleep of heart failure herself, there being two things that prominently ran in the Taylor family, bad hearts and bedside visits from the dead. Montgomery chalked this one up to the delightful drug cocktail pulsing through his veins from the shiny IV bag beside his bed. But what to make of the half dozen other stories of premonitions, warnings and reassurance that had been provided from various dead Taylor Uncles, Aunts and Cousins through the years?

“What are you saying Ma, are you an angel sent to comfort me?”

“No. I’m just your mother.”

And with that, she was gone. Montgomery drifted off to sleep thinking about his grandmother, her dirty apron, the black wood stove in the dark kitchen, that heavy picnic style table that ran the length of the room. He pictured her turning from her cooking to see him standing at the bottom of the stairs. He didn’t sleep well in the huge red bedroom upstairs, always woke up before dawn and always found her busy in the kitchen.

“Come over here, child,” she would smile. “Give your Nanny a hug.”

She would envelope him in her apron and it always smelled like sausage. She would tussle his hair then sit him down at the table and give him a hot biscuit. 

“How come you always wake up so early?”

Montgomery never told her the truth. He never told her that Blue Hill scared the hell out of him at night. The big room upstairs was painted blood red and the only light was a single clear light bulb which hung from a long chord from the middle of the ceiling. For reasons that he didn’t understand the light always swayed a little from side to side sending shadows slithering across the walls. For a five year old boy this was the stuff from which nightmares were made. But all it took to break the spell was a visit to Nanny’s kitchen and the rising sun peaking through the screen door. For Montgomery, Blue Hill was part paradise and part haunted house. The haunting always happened at night making the arrival of the morning sun feel like paradise.


A nurse with kind eyes wearing a mask asked him to count backwards from ten. He felt a soft tingle in his arm, then a blast of cold air, then nothing. When next he opened his eyes he was hovering above the bobbing head of his surgeon looking down at the bright red blood surrounded by sky blue napkins in the middle of the table. He heard the buzz and gurgle of the ventilator and picked up parts of a conversation between the nurses about the results of a football game. Then over in a corner behind a tray of instruments he saw his mother staring intently at her son’s open chest. She was swaying from side to side with one arm raised towards heaven. This had always been how it was with Elizabeth Taylor Duncan, always turning up at the oddest times in the oddest places, always knowing something she had no way of knowing, understanding things she couldn’t possibly understand. Montgomery knew at that moment that he would survive the operation going on below. He would make a full and complete recovery. There suddenly wasn’t a doubt in his mind.




 Montgomery Duncan’s mother had died in her sleep. Slipped away without saying goodbye, unexpected and devastatingly final. Like any mother and son worthy of the names, much was left unsaid and unfinished. Their relationship had been strong and stable but their last conversation had been an argument. But he had no time to mourn properly because his father and the love of his mother’s life was now 87 and without her for the first time in 65 years. Edward Eugene Duncan had left Gladstone in 1943 on a Chesapeake and Ohio troop-train headed for San Francisco and then the South Pacific to fight the Japanese. His train chugged slowly past Blue Hill where a 13 year old Elizabeth Taylor sat on the steps and watched the billows of smoke rising from the engine disappearing into the morning mist, thinking about who might be on the train. She had a dream which had convinced her that she was going to meet and marry a man who rode past Blue Hill on that train one day. Three years later on the first day of her senior year in high school she discovered that a tall black haired older boy, back from the war, had been assigned the locker next to hers. They were both almost instantly smitten. Their decision to get married was a wildly unpopular one with practically everyone in the Taylor household. Edward was the son of share croppers and unworthy of a young girl from a family that possessed 700 acres of land. Despite their disapproval, Elizabeth and Edward were married at the Courthouse with only Elizabeth’s sister Rosemary representing the bride’s family. 

All of the Taylor family misgivings about Edward had eventually been forgotten when the couple started having children. By the time Montgomery had arrived, the fourth and last of the brood, all had been forgiven. The truth was that it was difficult to find fault with Edward. He was a pleasant man, strong and dependable, not afraid of hard work and a whiz with a rifle. He made Elizabeth happy. None of them could deny that. Eventually, Lizzy’s happiness and Edward’s quick smile won the day.

But when she passed away without warning, Montgomery simply couldn’t imagine how his father was going to manage without her. In sixty plus years of marriage they had spent not one single night apart. He would be lost without her, totally useless around the house, and impossibly lonely. As he had expected, things didn’t go well. His health rapidly declined and almost two years later to the day, Edward and Elizabeth were reunited in heaven. At least that’s what they both believed. Firmly and unequivocally. Montgomery’s parents were dead serious about their Christian faith, its teachings informing all aspects of their lives, guiding their decisions, commanding them to be better people, more loving and kind, more forgiving and generous than others thought they should be. “Lizzy,” friends would say, “You don’t have enough money to be giving it away to every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes along. Be reasonable!!” Her answer had always been some version of, “Well, maybe Tom, Dick and Harry need it more than I do!”

Eighteen months after her death, Montgomery brought his father some doughnuts one morning for breakfast, hoping the sight of sweets would brighten his day. He found him reading the paper in his recliner, his face sagging under the weight of loss and loneliness. He managed a smile when he saw his son walk in but it was a weak effort, not the over the top exaggerated one he usually managed to conjure up when one of his children came for a visit.

“How you feeling this morning, Pop?”

“Fit as a fiddle,” he replied, his stock answer. Everyday of his life he had been fit as a fiddle to anyone who bothered to ask.

But something was wrong. Montgomery had learned to read his father’s moods, could see through his superficial declarations that everything was wonderful. Edward Duncan lived in mortal fear of becoming a burden to his children, hated the thought that they might be worried about him. So, he declared himself fit as a fiddle and hoped for no follow up questions. But this morning after a couple doughnuts Montgomery persisted.

“Pop, you don’t look like your self today. You have a rough night?”

He folded up his paper and placed it on the table beside his chair, laid his head back and closed his eyes. “I don’t sleep well some nights.”

Montgomery knew enough to not interrupt his father on the rare occasions when he offered up any information about his condition, no matter how vague. He listened quietly, hoping for something more specific. 

“Most nights I fall right asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. But then I wake up a few hours later and can’t get back to sleep.”

Montgomery noticed for the first time that his father’s eyes were red and puffier than usual. Had he been crying?

“That what happened last night?” Montgomery, leading the witness.

Edward folded his hands together in his lap and kept his eyes shut, preferring not to look at his son as he talked. “But, last night was different...”

Montgomery had always had a hard time figuring out his father. He was a man of great contradictions. He was powerfully built but as gentle as a lamb. He could be frequently eloquent but opted for silence, preferring to listen to others talk. He loved hard physical labor and had the powerful, gnarled, vice grip hands to prove it, but was as well read as any man he had ever known. Suddenly he was in the mood to talk.

“You know how your mother was. Remember how she seemed to know about things before they happened, that confounding clairvoyance of hers?”

Montgomery smiled and nodded.

“I’m not sure I ever told you kids about the time...this was before you and Diane were born. Allen and Gail were little, not more than five or six. We lived over on the south side and we would travel a lot back and forth between there and Blue Hill. We must have made the trip at least a hundred times. Well, one Saturday morning we were headed up the country about twenty minutes outside of Midlothian when all of a sudden your mother said, ‘Edward! Edward! Stop the car, pull over!!’ Well, it scared me half to death. I thought maybe she was sick and needed to throw up or something. But no, she was pointing at this house up on a hill. There was a long driveway lined with magnolia trees and a nice brick two story house with a big fancy set of steps out front. ‘That house!! I’ve been in that house.’ Well, I started laughing out loud, ‘Lizzy,’ I said, ‘We have driven past this house a hundred times in the past three years. Unless you drove out here without me or visited it when you were a child, I can assure you that you have never been in that house. You know how I know that? First of all, before you married me you had never left Buckingham County, and second of all, you don’t drive!’ But she was insistent. ‘Edward, I had a dream last night that I was in that house. I can see it as plain as day. There’s a beautiful porcelain pitcher sitting on a half circle table underneath a gorgeous gold-framed mirror right when you come in the front door on the right. Then a huge library to the left with a fireplace and leather books all the way to the ceiling all around. Oh, and a piano in the corner.’ She went on and on describing the inside of the house. Finally I said, ‘Well, fine. But why did you want to pull off the highway?’ I knew I was in trouble when she answered, ‘because I need to see for myself. I am going to go up there and ask them if I can look at their house!’ You know your mother, there wasn’t a one in a million chance that I was going to talk her out of such a foolish idea, so the next thing I know, there we are standing on this stranger’s front porch ringing the doorbell. Luckily the woman who answered the door couldn’t have been nicer and invited us in straight away. Within five minutes, the two of them were as thick as thieves! Then I noticed the library and the leather books and the piano. I turned and saw the pitcher and the mirror. Son, it was exactly as your mother had described it! It was the strangest thing I had ever seen.”

As fascinating as his story was, Montgomery had a feeling that there was something else going on with his father, something that he was working up his nerve to share. Then he noticed the tears in his eyes.

“Mother was like that, of course. She had that strange relationship with the world around her. She saw things that nobody else saw, heard things, felt things that nobody else did.”

Montgomery nodded his head in agreement. None of this was a revelation. Everyone in the family knew that Elizabeth was...different. They had all preferred to describe it as her being, sensitive to the spiritual world, carefully avoiding any suggestion that this was anything other than a finely tuned and thoroughly Christian sensitivity. His father continued...

“Well, last night when I woke up, your mother was standing at the foot of my bed over by the window. At first she was staring out the window, but then she turned and smiled at me. I didn’t know what to say or do, so I just laid there and smiled back. She didn’t say anything either.  She just glanced out the window then back at me. She was wearing a white nightgown and she looked just like she looked when we were first married...”

At this point, he couldn’t continue. Emotion overcame him and he cried openly, something that his son had never before seen. He got up and rushed to his side. “Oh Pop, why are you crying? It sounds like it was beautiful.”

“I’m crying because I miss her!” Edward seemed frustrated that his son would ask such a ridiculous question. Didn’t anyone understand the depths of his grief, the pain of his loneliness? “But I’m also crying because I don’t think it’s right, Montgomery. I’m a Christian man. I’m not supposed to believe in ghosts.”

Montgomery didn’t understand enough of the theological basis for such a statement and didn’t care to, and resisted the urge to say something snarky like, “What about the Holy Ghost?” Instead, in one of his finer moments as a son, managed to say, “Pop. Tell me something. When you saw Mom smiling at you from the window, how did it make you feel? Were you frightened? Afraid?”

“No. I was never once afraid. I felt warm all over. I was so happy to see her face again. She was so beautiful...”

“Well, how can that be a bad thing? How can that be from the devil? Seems to me that if you took comfort from her presence, maybe she was sent by God. Instead of thinking of her as a ghost, maybe you should think of her as an angel.”

It had been a invaluable gift that the son had given the father...permission to believe in the goodness of God, permission to believe that he hadn’t suddenly become a heretic, and permission to take comfort where he found it.

As Montgomery was driving home it occurred to him that when his mother had visited him bedside the night before his surgery, she had been wearing a white nightgown, and he hadn’t even recognized her at first, her hair had been so black and her face so alive with the light of youth.





Edna Taylor tossed and turned on the night of June 5th, 1944. It had been a rough Monday. Her knees were aching from being on her feet all day. Her back throbbed from a muscle she had pulled trying to lift a sack of flour from the truck that morning. But there was something else contributing to her insomnia. Her oldest boys were in the Army and rumors had been flying all around Buckingham County that something was up. Something over there. In all the time they had been gone she had received precious little communication, her boys not being big letter writers. What letters she did get were all weeks after the fact. They had survived North Africa. They had made it through Sicily. Still, she worried all day every day that she would get a visit from the man in the black car, the angel of death from the Defense Department. Every time she would see dust rising on the road in the distance her heart would skip a beat. Her husband would tell her, “Johnnie and Billy can take care of themselves. Rest easy, Edna.” But, at night after he had fallen asleep she was left in the bleak darkness of Blue Hill to battle her doubts and fears alone.

She wrapped her gown tightly around her shoulders and walked downstairs to the kitchen. Even though it was summertime it was still cool in the house late at night. She lifted a biscuit from under the checkered cloth of the bread basket, spread some jam on it and ate while she stared off into the distance. She thought about how painful it had been to lose Chesty. She tried to imagine if she had it in her to survive losing another. The tears overcame her quickly. She threw the biscuit to the side and buried her head in her hands, weeping like only a grieving mother can.

She felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She immediately regretted her outburst. Her husband needed his sleep more than anyone and all of her blubbering had woken him up. But when she looked up she felt a rush of cool air. Her heart raced. She could feel the hairs on her neck standing up as she looked into the face of her oldest, Johnnie. 

He smiled down at her, his wire rimmed glasses shimmering in the lantern light. He was in his dress uniform, medals on his left breast pocket, boots sharply polished and gleaming. He spoke, “Hello, Momma. It’s me, Johnnie. I don’t have much time but I wanted to let you know that me and Billy are going to be fine. We don’t want you worrying yourself to death, you hear? We love you and we promise we will be back before you know it.”

And just like that he vanished and she was alone in the kitchen, her heart pounding but now filled with joy. When weeks later word came that both of them had been on the beaches at Normandy, Edna Taylor, like Mary the Mother of Jesus 2000 years before, pondered these things in her heart. It would be years before she told the story.

By the time the story got told to Montgomery, his mother had been a bit foggy with the details. Did he appear in the kitchen or at her bedside? Was he wearing his dress uniform or his bloodied and stained combat clothes? But in every iteration he had heard, the consistent facts were that on the night before the D-Day assault in France, her tank-driving, war hero son had made a visit to Blue Hill to reassure his mother that he was going to make it.

But as Montgomery wrote the story down it occurred to him that the Taylor family lore wasn’t just stories of comforting visitations. Like all family histories, it’s a mixture of comedy and tragedy, ghosts from the past who bring both life and death. Just four years after D-Day came such a story.

Uriah Madison Taylor was the one and only lawyer in a family of farmers and builders. He had attended the University of Virginia and gotten a law degree while his brothers and sisters stayed put at Blue Hill. He was a giant of a man, physically imposing yet gregarious. He practiced law at his office in Charlottesville during the week then came home to his farm adjacent to Blue Hill which he ran along with his sister. Elizabeth remembered how her Uncle would always bring her gifts from Charlottesville, which to her might has well have been from the ancient marketplace in Algiers. Uncle Uriah was the Taylor family exotic, the farm boy who made good in the big city.

Uncle Uriah also had a soft spot for bad men. His work put a lot of them in jail, but he believed in second chances and redemption. As a result he worked to establish a work release program for first offenders, a first for Charlottesville. From time to time his soft-hearted disposition led him to hire these work released men to work on his sister’s farm. He ignored the warnings of his legal colleagues, refusing to give in to their world weary conclusion that some human beings were beyond redemption and that his kindness and compassion was at best misplaced and at worst, dangerous.

One particularly cold December Friday evening when Uriah got back to the farm, his sister complained about one of his “convicts” being excessively lazy, repeatedly refusing to do what she asked him to do. Uriah called him into the main house to talk with him and hopefully appeal to the better angels of his character that Uriah insisted lived somewhere within every man. An argument ensued. The man stormed out of the house and headed back to the small barracks housing building that Uriah had built for the workers. Uriah, against his sister’s warnings, insisted in pursuing him. When he walked through the front door of the barracks the man shot him in the chest with a double barrel shotgun. He was dead before he hit the floor.

Uriah Taylor’s death caused a sensation throughout the polite society of Charlottesville. Montgomery’s father had attended the trial and told of the heightened emotional rhetoric and the fierce, unrepentant heart of the killer. Although Uriah’s belief in redemption had ultimately cost him his life, people who knew him believed that if he had it to do all over again...he would have. It was not the first tragic death to occur on the farm at Blue Hill, and it was not to be the last. But Uriah’s murder was to be a reminder to the Taylor family that the world could be an unforgiving place.










Montgomery took a break from his writing, poured a cup of coffee and picked up the gold framed portrait of his parents from the gallery of pictures stacked across the top of the spinet piano in his library. Elizabeth’s smile was gentle, understated, as if she knew not to get too complacent. Life had a way of ambushing happiness. Truth be told, life as she had experienced it, was a series of shocks, unforeseen body blows administered by either providence or fate, that were meant to be overcome by force of will and unquestioned faith in the sovereignty of God. There was no room for bitterness, no time for selfishness and no point in questioning one’s lot in life. You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit, she would say. Montgomery placed the picture back on the piano, sat back down and begin to think about what was perhaps his mother’s most difficult body blow. 


He had been eight years old. He was alone with his mother in their tiny cramped apartment in New Orleans, the result of her husband’s midlife religious conversation. In five short years since he had seen the light, everything about their lives had changed. Edward Duncan, with a wife and four kids, had quit the best job he ever had, enrolled in college and taken the graveyard shift at a factory in town to pay the bills, all in obedience to what he claimed was the audible voice of God calling him into the ministry while driving to work on Jefferson Davis highway in his beat up Plymouth Fury III. New Orleans was home to the Seminary to which he was accepted as the oldest student of the class of 1968. Now, six Duncans were shoehorned into a two bedroom apartment in the hottest, most humid place in the world.

It was another June 5th, a momentous date in Taylor family history, this time in 1966 when a sharp knock on the door surprised Montgomery’s mother. She had been cutting up vegetables in the kitchen and dropped the knife on the tile floor at the sound of it. She quickly dried her hands on a towel and opened the door. A tall dark haired man in a stiff black suit and a Bible in his hands stood in the doorway. He looked to be sweating around the collar of his stiffly starched shirt. His eyes were thin and glassy, his extended hand ghastly white and shaking. The angel of death.

“Elizabeth Taylor?” He asked politely.

Montgomery had been on the floor in front of the grainy black and white television with aluminum foil wrapped around its rabbit ears, trying to watch The Lone Ranger, but the appearance of the stranger at the door had turned his head just in time to see his mother lift both hands to cover her mouth as she responded, “Oh Lord, it’s my mother, isn’t it?”

Twenty four hours later the Duncans were crammed into a 1962 Chevy Impala station wagon headed back to Blue Hill for Edna Taylor’s funeral. Montgomery had picked up tidbits of the details surrounding the tragedy but not enough to understand. But as the roar of the recapped tires against the interstate hummed him to sleep he wondered how it was that his mother knew who had died before the weary man in the black suit had even spoken.

On the morning of the 5th on Blue Hill, Edna was scurrying around trying to get everything together for her weekly trip into Buckingham Courthouse with her impatient, whirling dervish of a husband, Madison Taylor, older brother of Uriah and the clear alpha dog of his loud and boisterous clan. Montgomery’s grandfather had always been a source of fascination to him. His voice boomed out from his throat like the words had been shot out of a cannon which always startled him. He was perpetually in motion, a man of action who never slowed down for anything, even to eat. Montgomery remembered watching in awe as his larger than life grandfather devoured a bowl of cereal in what seemed to be a matter of seconds. The man was stone cold deaf and no doubt could hear very little of what his talkative grandson was saying while he followed him around as he did his morning chores in the barns at Blue Hill. This morning was unlike any other, Madison Taylor was in a hurry. He had loaded the metal jugs of milk in the back of the pick up truck and had been ready to leave fifteen minutes before Edna finally climbed into her seat. “You’ll be late for your own funeral,” he teased. “Maybe so,” she responded, “but I’ll be well dressed.”

The dirt road that split the property was notoriously hilly and narrow, its one lane barely wide enough for one car, let alone two. As it left the farm and got within a stone’s throw of the State road, there was a steep hill where if you made the trip in the morning you looked directly into the sun, temporarily blinding you until you reached the crest. At the top of the hill on this morning, Madison Taylor’s pickup truck was going fast, wheels spinning, trying to get a grip in the loose gravel. When he broke through the bright sunlight it was too late. He collided head on with a vehicle breaking through the sun at the same time sending Edna, in the days before seatbelts, headlong into the windshield. She died at the scene and for all practical purposes her death put an end to the idyllic life the Taylor family had built at Blue Hill. Within a couple years a grief stricken Madison Taylor had sold the house and land. He couldn’t bear being reminded of Edna at every turn in the great empty house. The loss of Blue Hill being the biggest ripple from Edna Taylor’s tragic and untimely death.

An eight year old’s memories are famously obscure and befuddled. Such was the case with Montgomery Duncan’s as he tried to piece together the details of the funeral. He remembered not being allowed to go inside the church. He was kept in a car in the parking lot with a group of other young cousins. It was 1966 and perhaps the thought was that young children might not be ready for an open casket. The one image that remained crystal clear was that of two strong uncles holding each arm of his oldest cousin, Richie who seemed beyond consolation as he staggered into the church. Richie was the oldest son of Edna’s first born war hero, Johnnie, the one who had appeared to her the night before D-Day twenty one years to the day of her death. As her first grandson, Richie had been particularly beloved. He had loved his grandmother back with equal devotion, so her loss had hit him especially hard. But the sight of him being helped into the church, so distraught and overwhelmed had brought tears to Montgomery’s eyes. It had been Richie who had been behind the wheel of the car that collided with Madison’s pick up truck. The trauma the accident would prove to be the most difficult chapter of the Taylor family’s history.

Richie went on to live an extraordinary life, overcoming the sort of tragedy that might have forever damaged a lesser man. Within three years he was earning combat medals in Vietnam as an Army Ranger. Upon returning to the States after the war, he married well, raised a family of beautiful children, and worked heroically in local law enforcement for years. For Montgomery, Richie Taylor would forever be a hero, a man who overcame the tragic fate that had visited him on a clear morning in the summer of 1966.






There were so many cousins. The Taylors were a sprawling clan, the family tree heavy with fruit. When Montgomery was a boy he was closest to Uncle Johnnie’s kids, particularly Anna, the youngest. They were about the same age and possessed the same propensity for mischief. As he sat at the desk in his library surrounded by his mother’s correspondence, he noticed a letter she had written to Anna in 1969 but never sent. It was so typical of Elizabeth Taylor to write such  letters. Whenever she had a thought she would write it down with the greatest of intentions of sharing, but somehow her busy life would conspire against follow through. This note was so kind and loving it brought a lump to his throat as he read. His mother was trying to encourage her niece who was worried sick about her brother Richie. Even though Anna was only ten, she watched Walter Cronkite on their grainy black and white RCA Victor every night like everyone else. She heard the dour old man give the day’s kill numbers from Vietnam and her young heart would break with worry. Anna, every night I lift Richie up in my prayers. Each night I beg the Lord for protection for your brother. And each night God answers my prayers.


Montgomery smiled. It was so like his mother, basking in her unique personal connection with the creator of the universe. Of all the millions of prayers raised each night by the dutiful and the desperate, Elizabeth Taylor’s prayers were heard and answered. It was an otherworldly relationship that defied not only logic but theological scrutiny. Nevertheless, she persisted with undimmed confidence.


As Montgomery sifted through the letters and random scraps of paper he found a faded photograph of Richie and Anna taken in 1968. There was Richie in his sharp Army Ranger uniform with it’s distinctive beret, his arm around his little sister’s shoulder. Probably a going away party from the looks of it. Anna had been crying.


He remembered a story at that moment that he hadn’t thought about in years. It had been told to him years ago by Patty, Anna’s older sister. For some unknown reason, Richie and Anna were having a sleepover in the horrid back room at Blue Hill, the sinister red sofa frowning at them through the darkness. Richie heard his grandmother’s shuffling footsteps coming from the kitchen down the dark hallway to their room. “Kids? Wake up now. Put on your shoes and follow me.”


Edna led them both to the kitchen then to the back door. “Somebody is in the pasture. See?”


Anna squinted through the window and saw a pair of lanterns swaying with the rhythm of people walking. They were half way down the hill from the cemetery on this cloudy, moonless night. 


“Who are they?” Anna asked


“I don’t know, child.” Edna answered. “But they’ve been walking back and forth out there for the last thirty minutes so they are probably lost. I want you kids to go out there and unlock the gate for them. Whoever they are, they’re going to catch their death out there.”


When Montgomery first heard the story he remembered thinking, as he did now, what an odd strategy. Two strangers trespassing on your property in the middle of the night and instead of carrying a shotgun, she sends her two defenseless grandchildren out to greet them armed only with a lantern and each other. But, such was the less jaded existence of farm life in 1960’s America.


Anna, terrified, stayed glued to her brother’s side as they walked down the back steps, through the yard and past the barn where their grandfather kept his Packard. By the time they reached the big swinging gate at the entrance to the pasture, they noticed that the lanterns had stopped swaying. Richie hollered out, “You guys lost? Nanny says you should come inside and warm up or you’re gonna catch your death!”


Anna never wavered on what happened next. Every time she told the story, she added details, changed others, but this was the one stalwart and reliable fact...the lanterns vanished.


Hogwash!” Montgomery had exclaimed the first time hearing the tail. “More like the men blew their lanterns out and ran away!”


Anna was adamant. “NO, Cousin. By this time our eyes had adjusted to the darkness. We both could see outlines of their bodies and their floppy hats. When those lanterns went out, their shadows left with them. Besides, if they had run away we would have heard those lanterns rattling. I’m telling you, the both of them vanished into thin air.”


Eventually Montgomery had stopped arguing the point, letting his cousin believe whatever she wanted to believe. Later, older and wiser Richie confirmed Anna’s version of the story, adding much needed gravitas to the tale. Many theories had sprung up over the years since seeking to guess the identity of the two lantern carriers. The most popular suggested that since Edna had seen them walking down from the graveyard, it was probably the ghost of Maggie Watson, the daughter of freed slaves who had worked at Blue Hill as a housekeeper for their Great Grandfather when he owned the place. Eventually Maggie and her husband had purchased a small plot of land just west of the graveyard and lived there until they both passed away. The small cabin they had built had been torn down years ago. It must have been the two of them searching for their old home, the only building either of them had ever owned.

Diet…Foiled

So, a couple weeks ago, Pam put us both on a diet. With only a couple of exceptions, we have both been faithful to its requirements. Pam has lost weight. I have not. This is a reversal of previous diet regimens we have done through the years where I would immediately drop ten pounds within two weeks while Pam struggled, which caused her great consternation and no small amount of personal resentment. Now apparently, my age and recalcitrant metabolism have caught up with me. So far, she has resisted gloating.

But, thanks to Gary Larson, I have stumbled upon the problem…




Tuesday, November 16, 2021

The Guest

The guest woke up five minutes before the alarm, eyes open, squinting across the way to the digital clock. 5:55 am. All of life comes down to waiting around for the next thing, he thought as his bare feet hit the floor. He liked the still hours before daylight, preferring the day before it had the chance to disappoint him. They all start out the same, dark, still and full of promise. He pressed the red button on the top of the clock as he passed on his way to the bathroom. Bending over the sink, he looked in the mirror and took inventory. Puffy, watery eyes. A three day growth of beard, spiked with white and gray. Fashionably bald head. The acne scars from forty summers ago reminding him that although he wasn’t the man he used to be, there were remnants of the younger man that still lingered. His teeth, still crooked, but no longer white.


But he was alive and reasonably healthy. Waiting around for the next thing seemed better than the alternative of having nothing to wait around for. Today the next thing was due to arrive. He would board a plane and fly back home, having spent a week scouting out potential properties for the real estate investment trust he had started and run for over twenty years. It was the sort of five day working trip that had become a customary part of his life. He would fly out on Monday mornings and spend his time driving from site to site for 10 hours a day, then collapse in his hotel bed at night. When sleep finally came it was spotty and fretful. Then on Friday he would fly home, stop by the office then drive home to his wife of 30 years, who would greet him at the door with a warm smile a soft hug and a gin and tonic. She would ask him about his week with what passed as genuine interest. She would listen to a version of the same story he had been telling for nearly half their lives together. She would nod and make the same observations she always made…that sounds like it has potential…oh for heaven’s sake, that’s crazy. Then, as a signal to her husband that it was time to wrap it up and listen while she talked about her week,  she would say…well, I’m just thankful you’re back home safe and sound.


They were both waiting around for the next thing.


But restlessness was not the same thing as ingratitude. Life was good. They had plenty of money in the bank and they loved each other. The only thing left to overcome was the nagging feeling that there was simply nothing left to do. It was the price paid for accomplishments coming often and early in life, the suspicion that you have peaked too soon, that the rest of your life will be a series of curiously mild disappointments. 


But today there was one more property to look at and a plane to catch. He stood at the window of his hotel room in his underwear watching the street lights turning red and green through the mist of a morning rain. The streets were empty except for a single white van going too fast towards the red lights at the corner below. The van skidded to a stop with its side door open, something was thrown onto the curb, then it sped away, running the red light and disappearing out of view. Probably the morning newspapers, he thought, until he took a closer look. It was covered in a long brown jacket, with two boots sticking out of one end and a head out of the other. Whoever it was wasn’t moving and the rain was coming down harder now. He looked on with detachment. Whatever was playing out on the streets below was none of his business. It was a big city. Strange things happen in the wee hours in big cities. Nevertheless, he wished he had stayed in bed a while longer and not been up to see it. Now the image would be stuck in his head all day, an image of a human being being discarded on a sidewalk in front of his hotel in the pouring rain. But, someone will walk by soon and see him, probably one of the bellmen at the entrance of the hotel right across the street. Either that or someone walking to work on the sidewalk will see him. What time was it? Five in the morning. When do city people start filling the sidewalks these days? He took one more look then stepped in the shower, the hottest water he could stand. Where are the cops when you need one?,  he thought as the steam rose around him. Half and hour later, clean and dressed for the day, he walked over to the window. It had moved, no longer splayed out on the sidewalk like it had fallen from the sky. Now, back up against the wall, knees pulled up tight to the chest and face turned skyward, a broad smile on the face. The rain had stopped and he found himself in the elevator headed down for a closer look.


The hotel lobby smelled like new things, new carpet and new furniture. A recent remodel had turned the space into something obscure and disjointed. There was a feeling that it hadn’t been used enough, too few people had spent enough time in it to make it feel human. It was too clean, felt too much like a movie set. Even the guys and girls behind the computer screens in their blue blazers and great haircuts looked brand new, like robots manufactured for this one job of smiling broadly and welcoming guests. When he walked through the massive revolving doors that led out to the curved entryway, the uniformed bellman wore the same blazer, along with a sharp and tidy cap splashed with a bright red brim and white gloves. Less than 100 feet away, sat the man who had been dumped on the sidewalk thirty minutes ago, slumped against the First and Merchants Bank, still smiling up at the sky. 


“Good morning Sir,” smiled the bell captain.


“I was up in my room earlier when I noticed a van speed by and dump that man over there on the sidewalk,” he replied, pointing across the way at the smiling man in the wet brown coat. “Did you see the van?”


The bell captain maintained his officious smile and answered, “I’m afraid I didn’t sir. But I wouldn’t worry about him. He’s a regular on that sidewalk. ‘Homeless but harmless’ we like to say.”


The guest looked away from the bell captain, suddenly annoyed by his smile. The sun peaked through the clouds and lit up the puddles in the street, streaked with oil, a sheen of color along the edges. He walked to the corner and even though the streets were still empty, waited for the lights to change before walking across to the sidewalk in front of the bank. The closer he got to the man the less sure of himself he felt. Why was he standing beside this poor soul this early in the morning in a city a thousand miles from home?


His eyes were closed, the smile radiant, his head turned upward, the morning sun revealing the wrinkles and scars of a life lived outside. The smell of him was bracing, something close to wet grass and empty dumpsters. To his left, hidden away in an alcove of the bank’s facade was a backpack. The guest hadn’t noticed it before. It was covered in duct tape held together with bungee chords wrapped tight around its exterior. His left hand lay on top of the backpack, his right hand closed tightly into a fist in his lap. Altogether, the man gave off a miserable appearance, looking haggard and impossibly uncomfortable. Yet, he smiled, the happiest of smiles, one that would be expected to accompany the most delightful memory brought forth from the sweetest of dreams. But he was wet, filthy and smelled increasingly like damp mown grass. The guest looked down on him with pity and was about to turn around and head back to the hotel when the man spoke.


“Anything I can help you with on this fine morning, sir?” He opened his eyes and squinted up into the sun revealing eyes that although bloodshot, couldn’t hide their bright steel blue color.


When he heard the voice he took a step back, startled by the clarity and deep baritone, then felt embarrassed by the fear. Whatever this man was, he seemed harmless.


“I’m sorry, I er…I am a guest at the Bouffant across the street and I…”


“The bank don’t open until 9:00.”


“No, I know…I mean…I don’t need the bank. I just saw you get thrown out of a van an hour or so ago from my room up there and wanted to check on you.”


“You were up early then…”


“Yes, I suppose I was.”


The sun had broken through the morning clouds and the street was awash in bright light now with only wispy thin clouds racing by against the bright blue. The light revealed more than it explained in the man’s face. But even when he spoke, the smile remained in place.


“I asked the Bellman if he had seen anything…”


“That’s Carl. Carl don’t see nothing,” then a low laugh.


“So, are you alright? Looked like a rough fall from up there,” pointing at the wall of glass at the Bouffant.


“It was nothing. Just a misunderstanding. You ever have one of those?”


“Quite a few. But generally mine don’t involve being thrown out of a moving vehicle.” 


“Well, I’d imagine you have a higher class of associates than me,” then another laugh, this one warmer and more sincere.


The guest couldn’t hide a smile of his own. He looked down at the man and felt awkward towering over him. He felt a momentary urge to sit beside him, then thought better of it and extended a hand instead.


“Look, I’ve got a couple hours before my appointment. Would you like something to eat?”


“You mean like…breakfast?”


“Sure. Breakfast.”


“I don’t know, brother. You eat too big a breakfast and by nightfall you’re so hungry you could eat your shoes…”


“ My Mother always insisted that breakfast was the most important meal of the day.”


The man reached for the guest’s hand and got to his feet. 


“Your Momma tell you that?”


“Yes, among many other things.”


“Maybe some coffee. That would be nice. There’s a Dunkin’ around the corner.”


The guest looked up and down the street, then back at the hotel where his eyes locked onto Carl’s. He didn’t understand what it was about the Bell Captain that had annoyed him so. Maybe it was the homeless but harmless remark that had seemed uncharitable and too dismissive. Now, Carl was looking on with thinly veiled concern at his interaction with one of the harmless. 


How about you come with me to the restaurant in the hotel. It’s 7:00 o’clock. They just opened.”


“You mean…the Bouffant?” For the first time the smile ran away from his face. “They won’t let me in there.”


“I’ve stayed in this hotel at least a dozen times. I’m a Bouffant Rewards member. They will let anyone in I bring with me. You are my guest this morning. And, I’m sorry…what’s your name?”


“No names, man. You don’t need to know my name and I don’t need to know yours. That ok with you?”


The guest smiled then glanced at Carl who was still watching their every move. “I’m fine with no names. Let’s go get breakfast.”


The guest noticed a slight limp in his walk as they crossed the street. He wondered how old he was. There was no way of telling, probably much younger than he looked. Carl stepped towards them as they neared the revolving door, a look of grave concern on his face masked by the most insincere of smiles. He looked at the guest and said, “I see you’ve met Phillip.”


The guest stopped to revel in the awkwardness of the moment. He had taken a keen dislike to the Bell Captain and was now enjoying his discomfort, something that came as a surprise to him, he not being the sort of man who spent very much time perpetuating or participating in drama. But, as he noticed how disturbed at the prospect of this man entering the hotel the Bell Captain was, he leaned in with great vigor. “Yes, I have. As it turns out, neither of us have had breakfast. So, we decided to have it together in the Guilford, since it opens at 7:00.”


The Bell Captain’s smile was gone, replaced with incredulous horror. “I’m sorry. Is Phillip a guest of the Bouffant?”


“No.” Now it was the guest’s turn for an insincere smile. “However, he is my guest.” Then they both stepped into the revolving door and left the Bell Captain to his incredulity. Inside the slowly moving door, the full extent of his smell was overpowering, like a dog who had been left outside in the rain all day, mixed with the body odor of a man who hadn’t taken a shower in weeks. He looked at the guest and laughed, “That Carl is an asshole. Phillip ain’t my name man. Do I look like a “Phillip” to you? I told him that was my name one time a few months ago and he believed it. Dumb as a box of hammers, that one.”


As the door finally ushered them into the hotel lobby, the man looked around in disbelief, as if walking into a fancy hotel for the first time, or so the guest thought in his ignorance.


“What the hell have they done to this place?” He asked. “If they were going for inauthentic and unwelcoming, they hit it out of the park.”


The guest was surprised but didn’t disagree. “Yes, I was here about a year ago and they were just starting a redesign, but I hadn’t seen the change until I got here yesterday. Does give off a certain amount of…”


“Bullshit aesthetic,” the man offered.


“Yes. That about sums it up.” Who is this man, the guest wondered as he led them towards the entrance to the Guilford and it’s equally horrified maitre’d, who, in his defense, could probably smell them coming from across the lobby.


“Two for breakfast,” the guest said. 





The maitre’d scanned the large dining room with its square tables covered with white linen and saw only four tables occupied with guests. He handed two menus to a waiter who led them to a table in the back corner of the dining room as far away from the other guests as was possible. 


The waiter placed one menu in front of the guest and asked if the table wanted coffee. The guest answered, “Yes, coffee would be nice…along with one more menu.” The waiter smiled stiffly, backed away to make room for the coffee tray consisting of one silver pot along with a small container of real cream and a glass bowl filled with brown sugar cubes. The guest had become attached to the Bouffant over the years for this very reason, first class, old school touches of grace. He could have stayed in a Courtside or Homewood Suites for half the money, but he much preferred linen table cloths and real waiters to the serve yourself continental breakfast fare at the cheaper places. It was a life upgrade that he could afford, had earned and enjoyed. But as he looked across the table at his guest, who had taken ahold of the shiny silver pot with a gnarled and dirty hand, he felt conspicuous in the still mostly empty dining room. He watched him pour the cream in his cup, then raise the steaming cup to his lips. After taking a silent taste he set the cup down and said, “Gave up sugar years ago. Don’t usually take cream either but that’s the good stuff.”


The waiter returned with a menu, placed it down in front of him, being careful not to make eye contact with anyone but the impertinent guest who was responsible for this outrage. 


The guest carefully studied the man across the table. Despite everything that was clearly evident, there was something odd about him, something that didn’t add up. He watched him sipping his coffee, his eyes studying every detail of the room as if he were taken mental inventory.


“This place is famous for their omelettes. I am particularly fond of the Southwestern, “ the guest offered by way of recommendation.


“Not a big breakfast eater. Maybe some toast.”


“You sure? You look like you could use a good meal.”


“Not this early in the day.” Then he placed his cup on the table, leaned closer to the guest as if preparing to whisper a secret, “Looks to me like you’re just dying to ask me a question but can’t find the right words…”


“How did you end up living on the streets?” 


The man laughed and leaned back into his chair. “That’s better! Those are good words!”


“And what was the deal with getting thrown out of that car this morning? I mean, its not every day when you see something like that so naturally, I’m curious.”


“You gotta let that go, man. Sometimes you just get in the wrong vehicle, brother. That’s all that was. As far as why I’m living on the streets, that’s much more complicated. Where do you live?”


“Me? I live back east.”


“In a house?”


“Yes. A house.”


“So the only thing different about you and me is that you live a thousand miles from here, in a house, while I live over there across the street…and you smell better, and got nicer clothes, probably a fine lookin’ wife and lots of money in the bank, while I live up against a bank…so we not that different.” Another radiant smile lit up the man’s face as he poured himself another cup, this time taking it black. “That creamer gonna make me constipated if I’m not careful.”


“But when did it all start? How did you get here?”


“Got fired from the company I worked for back in the day. Same company that built this building we sitting in. It was a misunderstanding. Accused me of stealing another man’s tools. Wouldn’t give me a recommendation, so it was hard to find work. I bounced around some. Lived at the YMCA downtown for a while. Then one day I woke up and realized I liked having no one bossing me around. I kinda enjoyed the challenge of making my way day by day. Weather around here is mostly fair and when it gets too cold or too damp there’s dozens of shelters for folks like me. But I only go there as a last resort. Those bastards are crazy man.”


He nibbled at his toast like a man with a full stomach. He worked his napkin expertly, making sure no crumbs clung to his beard. After finishing his second cup of coffee, he turned to his sweating glass of ice water and downed it in one gulp. “It’s essential that you stay hydrated. That’s what they always tell us at the shelter.”


The guest finished his omelette, took the napkin out of his lap and placed it gently on the table.


“But how can you stand the uncertainty of it all? I mean, what do you do for money?”


“What uncertainty? I know exactly what’s gonna happen every day. The sun will rise in the east and set in the west. I’ll set up shop at my spot just before the lunch crowd hits the sidewalks. By one o’clock I will have picked up twenty or thirty dollars in tips.”


“Tips?”


“I tell them jokes and the nice ones give me tips.”


“You’re a pan handler.”


“Who pays his own way in the world.”


“Who relies on the kindness of strangers.”


“Yes.”


They stopped to rest. Each of them unsure what was next.


The man asked the guest, “You’ve asked all the questions. Now I’ve got one. Why are you sitting across the table at the Guilford having breakfast with a bum off the streets?”


The waiter slipped the bill onto the edge of the table without comment. The guest added the bill to his room charges, signed the receipt and placed the pen on top. Then he looked up and answered, “Because…you were the next thing.”


Monday, November 15, 2021

Pale and Pathetic

What in the Sam Hill is going on with all these people putting their Christmas trees up before THANKSGIVING?? As CEO and President of the Thanksgiving is Better Than Christmas Association, I am appalled. Before we even get the chance to be thankful for the manifold blessings in our lives, we are hellbent on erecting a Christmas tree, that great heathen symbol of excess. (Look it up).


VS.



Our neighbors had a busy weekend getting the jump on us. By the time the sun set last night, the sparkling lights could be seen through their picture windows, taunting me with their too much/too soon Christmas cheer. Its hard to fault them, what with their little ones all over the place. Kids aren’t yet old enough to appreciate the charms of Thanksgiving with its themes of gratitude and the delights of hearth and home. Especially since there are no gifts. Perhaps if Thanksgiving came with its own outlandish mythology, maybe a Thanksgiving spirit who made his appearance through the smoke of only the most sincere fires from the most appreciative fireplaces, bestowing hearts of gratitude on every boy and girl in the land. Who am I kidding? How could a Thanksgiving smoke spirit handing out gratefulness compete with a fat man dolling out toys to every kid, angel or brat?

Alas, Thanksgiving will forever play second fiddle to Christmas. Aside from the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior, Christmas is to Thanksgiving what the Monkees were to the Beatles, a pale and pathetic knock-off.

But, I have already forgiven my over-eager neighbors. It is their only real flaw.

Saturday, November 13, 2021

The Art of Overdoing Things

I already know that I will overdo it today. First of all, it’s Saturday, the day suited to overdoing things. And second of all, in two weeks all of my kids and grand pups will be here for Thanksgiving, so the yard has to be in top shape. When there are three retrievers romping around in the yard, it needs to be ready. In addition to all the yard work, this afternoon I have a shift at Hope Thrift. So, by the time all of that is done, Pam will be telling me…I told you so. But, here’s the thing, I love yard work. Ever since my dad gave me full responsibility for our lawn back when I was 12 years old, I have enjoyed nothing quite so much as putzing around in the yard. Besides, when you spend your days trying to explain abstractions like the time value of money, Asset allocation, and diversification for a living, doing yard work feels like salvation. It is measurable and progress can be photographed. A wonderful thing.

So, here are a few before and after pictures of my toil today for your edification…

BEFORE


AFTER


BEFORE


AFTER


BEFORE



AFTER


BEFORE


AFTER



BEFORE



AFTER



Every sore muscle, every cramp, worth it. 














Friday, November 12, 2021

Time to Laugh

It’s been a busy week. I’ve dealt with a lot, from grieving widows to stressed and overworked teachers. Sometimes, by the time Friday arrives you just want to laugh at something…anything. So, an old friend sent me this…


Not bad. Not bad at all. Then, there’s this…

My son once asked me how poo was made.

I took a deep breath and reluctantly explained it to him.

Clearly traumatized, he looked up at me with tears in his eyes and asked, “what about Tigger?”

Getting back to the stressed out and overworked teachers, my wife has been arriving home in darkness, around 5:30 every day this week. This despite the fact that her official day ends somewhere around 1:30. Well, apparently the apple didn’t fall too far from then tree. A teacher friend of my daughter recently took this picture of Kaitlin’s car in an empty school parking lot…


It is the life they have chosen, I suppose. It’s why every time I hear someone say, “yeah, but they get the summer off,” I want to beat that someone to a pulp.





Tuesday, November 9, 2021

Slack-Cutting

I’ve decided that I’m in the slack-cutting business. It’s a good business to be in at this moment in time since it seems I have very little competition. I could have —and probably should have — opened up shop years ago, but I didn’t have it in me. Back then I knew everything. 

You learn that some old friends of yours have separated and are contemplating a divorce. Twenty years ago news like this would have provoked a different reaction in me… back in the days when I knew everything. Divorce was simply a failure of the will, indicative of weakness and emotional laziness and more often than not an indication of infidelity, already committed or actively contemplated. I came to these conclusions not because of personal first hand knowledge, but rather from inflexible judgment. Twenty years later, although many of these judgments may still be true, I come down firmly on the side of mercy and grace, two vital components of the slack-cutting business.

First of all, I’ve never gone through a divorce. I have absolutely no idea what its like. I don’t know the first thing about the anguish, sadness, and pain experienced by the participants. I cannot think of any human experience that produces anything approaching divorce-level despair other than the death of a loved one. In many respects, a divorce is exactly like death. Something has died which produces both mourning and grief. Somewhere down the line I have started to react to news of divorce more like someone who mourns rather than judge and jury.

But, its not just divorce, it’s practically every area of human failing. Being in the judgment business is exhausting. I’m no good at it primarily because I’m much more aware of my own capacity for failure than I used to be. It’s such a strange thing. When I was younger I looked at most older people and felt that the older they got the more judgmental they became. But as I have gotten older its been a different story. I’m more aware of my own sin, not less. I’m more aware of my inconsistencies and hypocrisy, not less. Grace has become for me an absolute essential, not merely an abstract spiritual concept. Not only do I desperately need it, but I’ve found that giving grace to others has made me…happier. Leaving the judgment to God has taken a heavy burden off of me. Cutting people some slack can be a profitable business.

I wish my friends well. I pray for restoration if it is possible. But if not, I wish them well and hope they both find peace and a more fulfilling life.




Sunday, November 7, 2021

Napping and Fartgate

Ok, Joe Biden isn’t the greatest President we’ve ever had. In fact, his first year has been awfully close to disaster territory. Having said that, I must rise to his defense with regards to the flack he has caught from two recent incidents which occurred during his recent European trip…the alleged presidential nap taken during the Climate Summit in Scotland, and Fartgate. First, the nap…


Yes. The president seems to be catching a quick power nap during a boring address by someone no doubt speaking a language other than English. I should point out that this was relatively soon after he arrived in Scotland from Washington, so jet lag played a factor here. Also, if there were a thousand cameras pointed at my face during any meeting I have ever attended in my 38 years of business meetings, I would not only be napping, I would be head thrown back, mouth wide open, snoring napping. I thought the fact that he wore a mask was well played. At least his head was erect, and his arms professionally folded. As public naps go, this one was pretty buttoned up.

Now, for the flatulence uproar…



So, apparently when Joe had a meet and greet with Camilla of the Royals, after a long day of climate change discussions, the President had a bit of a gas emission of his own. According to informed sources from the British newspaper, the Dailymail, the emission was “loud, long and impossible to ignore.” But, ignore it he did, always the safe play whenever this happens. Camilla was astonished by the the incident and apparently “hasn’t been able to stop talking about it since.” Well now…What ever happened to the famous royal family class and dignity? Since when is it considered good form to blab about another’s er…slippage to anyone and everyone who will listen? Especially when one of those listening is a reporter from the Dailymail?? 

Look people, the man is 78 years old. What are 78 year old men known for? That’s right…naps and involuntary flatulence. It’s just part of life. I say give the President a break. If you want to fuss at him for fiscal policy, immigration, the supply chain, or COVID mask mandates, have at it!! But he should get a pass on naps and farts. Look, if the most embarrassing thing his predecessor ever did was let one fly every once in a while and take a few naps, he would probably still be President. Besides, think about this…what President ever created any mischief while…napping? The answer is none. In fact, wouldn’t we all be a lot better off if more of our election officials would take more naps, not fewer, and of longer duration than Biden’s cat nap in Scotland?

Nap on, Mr. President, and go a little easier on the broccoli.


Saturday, November 6, 2021

In Praise of the Suburbs

It’s almost impossible to watch anything on television without hearing someone slamming the suburbs and those who choose to live in them. It’s like death and taxes in Hollywood that the suburbs are where people go to die. It is always painted as a monument to a boring, cookie-cutter existence. The only real, authentic place to live is in the heart of the city. If you don’t hear sirens every night, you have sold out. Ok. I don’t begrudge anyone for choosing a downtown life. Go for it. But let me offer a different take on the particular suburb where I live, Wythe Trace.

Pam and I have lived here for the past 24 years. When we moved in the place was still being built, our street was still gravel. We are the only people ever to live in our house. Over the years we have had neighbors come and go. As they have done so they have gotten…younger and much more diverse. Our neighborhood is like the United Nations. We have found that there is an advantage to staying put in one place. The younger this neighborhood gets the younger we feel. We are surrounded by couples in their 30’s and early 40’s, all with several children. This means when I turn the corner on my way home from work I have to drive slowly because there are always a bunch of kids playing in the street. It is wonderful. 

Here’s something that happened earlier this week that convinced me that Pam and I have made the right decision by sticking around. I was walking down my driveway to get the mail when one of my young neighbors drives by, slows down for a second to chat. She is the mother of an adorable little girl and a brand new baby boy. Making small talk, I mentioned that I had just come from the back yard where I had prepared the grill to cook some burgers only to discover that my propane tank was empty. She immediately offered to loan me their’s since it was full, she practically insisted. I told her to not bother, we could always cook them on the stove inside…it was no big deal. We wrapped up our friendly chat and I was on my way. Five minutes later she rings our doorbell carrying her propane tank—which she had carried from two doors down! I couldn’t believe it. Sure enough, I hooked it up and cooked our burgers. The next day I let myself into their back yard and put the tank on their deck.

In our little culdesac in suburbia—that vast conformist wasteland—there are a dozen kids ages infant to 16. Along with all those kids there are bikes, skateboards, scooters, lemonade stands, frisbees, basketballs, trampolines, eight slobbering dogs, and lots of shrieking arguments and high pitched laughter, all the while their frantic parents are trying desperately to keep up. In other words, its exactly what our life used to be like. It is so nice to watch them without any of the pressure of actually having to do it anymore. Let me tell you city-living elitist out there, these parents are killing it.

So, here’s one unapologetic vote for the suburbs.

Friday, November 5, 2021

Thoughts About Dogs

Got my Booster shot last night at 9 o’clock. It is now 7 in the morning and I am feeling zero physical side effects, and as far as I can tell my mind has not yet been compromised. I have heard no voices up there telling me to give up my autonomy and vote Democrat. But…it’s early.

However, I was treated to an amazing cartoon from Gary Larson…



Anyone who has ever had and loved a dog will immediate understand this all too well. It’s one of the things we love about them, right? They are oblivious to the troubles of this world, even—and especially—our troubles. It’s not that they don’t care. In fact, their capacity for empathy seems limitless. Its just that no matter what is going on around us, they know a couple of things for sure…that they love us and want us to forget about all that and give them a scratch. Lucy has this thing where she will come upstairs and find me in my recliner, then plop her front paws on my lap and demand that I drop whatever it was that I was doing and talk with her about my day. She sits there just a few inches from my nose with that goofy look on her face while I give her scratches. And…I tell her about my day. She totally understands every single word I say and is unimpressed with my travails. To emphasize this fact she invariably lets out a long and mournful yawn at point blank range as if to say…Seriously? That’s all you got? Then she gives my nose a lick and for a couple of moments she lays her head on my chest and rests, all while her two back paws are on the floor. It can’t be terribly comfortable, but it serves to remind me that all is well. Then, as unceremoniously as she arrived, she hops down, turns around three times in a circle then curls up in a ball on the floor beside my recliner and falls fast asleep.

Most dog lovers I know could tell a similar story. We get them for 10-15 years if we are lucky and they cram more unconditional love and loyalty into their time with us than all the humans we know combined. But, God doesn’t let us have them for too long…because he wants them back.

Tuesday, November 2, 2021

A Significant Milestone

Do anything in this life long enough and milestones will be reached, a significant anniversary or numerical marker. For The Tempest today is such an occasion, this being its 2,500th post. It took 10 years and 10 months to get here. For those keeping score, that means that I have churned out 19 of these things every month for almost eleven years. That seems like an awful lot to me, too much, almost embarrassing. How could one person possibly have that much to say? Even more confounding to me is the question…why do you people keep reading?

This milestone carries a bit of pressure. What should be the topic of someone’s 2,500th blog post? Today is Election Day. Should I write about politics? Tonight is game six of the World Series. Should I write about baseball? Donald Trump’s PAC just announced that they are giving away iconic Christmas wrapping paper for a minimum contribution of $35…


I mean, that one would practically write itself. 

When the pressure is on, I usually default to the familiar. So, for number 2,500, I’m going with this:

There was an old man who lived beside a great forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called all of his children together for a meeting…

He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at that beautiful forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they’ll all be cut down to make way for more and more people and this great forest will look as bald as my head.”

“What I want you all to do”, the old man continued, “Is every time someone cuts down a tree or a tree dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family’s duty to keep this forest beautiful forever.”

So they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children and their children’s children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and beautiful as it once was, all because of one man…

…and his re-seeding heirline.

Sunday, October 31, 2021

My Week at the Gaylord Hotel

It was a long week in Nashville, a universe away from normal. Living for four days in a place like the Gaylord Hotel is like taking a master class in cognitive dissonance…and the perfect place to be if your goal is to walk a minimum of 10,000 steps a day. Consider:

1. The Gaylord Hotel is too big. The massive layout is 2.1 MILLION square feet. It is nearly impossible to get from one place to another without a 10 minute walk. That’s perfectly fine but quite difficult for anyone over 75 years old or anyone carrying any unnecessary weight. 

2. If such a thing is possible, the Gaylord is too beautiful. The architecture, the gardens, the meandering paths winding along side the disturbingly real fake river are breathtaking to the point of distraction.

3. How much anything costs and how much anything is worth is of course two completely separate things. Many factors are at play from manufacturing costs to demand, level of scarcity, plus what the market for any good is able to bear. But when I needed lip balm and found a tiny sleeve of Blistex at a hotel shop then heard the lady say, “That will be $6.94…” I felt victimized. 

4. When you are attending a conference with 2,700 other attendees, you get to see the faces of people who do the same thing you do for a living at every turn for 96 hours and you hope and pray that you look and act different than many of them.

5. On the other hand, in delightful contrast, you realize just how special are the people from your own office. The people you work with are everything you knew them to be—smart, conscientious, thoughtful, and fun.

6. For everything there is a season, the old prophet says. Well, for me, roaming around from one honky-tonk to another on Broadway in downtown Nashville’s season has long past. A little of that activity goes a very long way. I mean…yeah, some of the bands were great, and the vibe and the history is interesting. But walking shoulder to shoulder with drunk strangers unable to communicate without screaming just isn’t a lot of fun—if you too are not drunk. Making the experience even more disconcerting were the presence of what must have been at least three dozen…

7. Homeless. This was not my first visit to Broadway, having done this a couple other times years ago with Patrick and Sarah. Back then there were a fair number of homeless people, but this time they lined the streets. They were everywhere, at the entrance to every bar, every restaurant. And this time a new wrinkle—almost all of them had a dog curled up forlornly at their feet. The homeless were almost all seated and few even held signs, most simply had a coffee can on the sidewalk in front of them gazing up at the throngs of revelers, hoping for a handout. It was as if they were saying…If you can’t have pity on me, do it for my puppy. Now, I know that the city of Nashville has probably a dozen programs to assist people in this condition. I also know that some of these folks are professional panhandlers and that I would be shocked at how much they haul in from gullible rubes like me. For this reason, I have always chosen not to encourage grifters. However, seeing them always cuts me on the inside. The juxtaposition of the partying masses with end of the road desperation is jolting. I watched one particular guy for probably an entire minute in front of some club and in all that time he never blinked his eyes, just sat there, emotionless, carelessly scratching his sleeping dog’s head. It’s the one clear image I have of Broadway…that one homeless guy, either a manipulative panhandler or a man at the end of his rope, closer to death than redemption.

There were plenty of bright moments on my trip. Best of all I got to see these guys…


Photo  Credit, the beautiful and talented Sarah Dunnevant

Patrick and I got to go to dinner and attend the Grand Old Opry on somebody else’s dime and we had a great night doing so.

I also had company on the drive back and forth, a very old friend of mine and the new kid, a former offensive lineman for the Hampden-Sydney Tigers who assured me for weeks that it would be an “Epic road trip!!”. An hour in to the trip down, THIS happened:




In the kid’s defense, he was able to rally, and despite having the bladder of a teenage girl, he eventually proved to be an excellent wing man. His taste in music was impressive in one so young and inexperienced, so much so that I have come to suspect that he is actually a 60 year old man trapped in a 26 year old’s body. But, then again, that 26 year old body has a 16 year old brain…so the boy is a work in progress.

So, the week is over and I am safely back home, reunited with Pam and Lucy, eager for the kiddos coming around tonight with their costumes. 

Finally, a few pictures of the Gaylord:


The view from my room.


All week, workers were decorating for Christmas. This was the first ornament I saw them put in place.







Soon, they were everywhere.





Sunday, October 24, 2021

Root Canal Without Anesthetic

I would like to personally thank the Atlanta Braves for sparing the country the ghastly horror of having to endure a World Series between the Houston Cheaters and the Tinseltown Celebrities. We all would have found ourselves on the horns of an existential dilemma, ie…which of those two despicable franchises to support? Now, thanks to the Braves bullpen, we all have been saved. I will be cheering mightily for the Atlanta Braves, something I did regularly years ago when my hometown played host to their Triple AAA team, the Richmond Braves. Once the R-Braves left town and Washington DC got a team for the first time in forever, I began supporting the Nationals as my National League team. So this temporary allegiance to the A-Braves brings back a few fond memories.

If the Astros prevail I will be severely disappointed, clinging as I do to that ancient incantation…cheaters never prosper. However, there is one thing about the Astros that I don’t hate…their manager, Dusty Baker. The single silver lining of an Astros World Series victory would be that Dusty will have his manager’s championship to go along with the one he won as a player with the Dodgers in 1982, and as a consequence end up in the Hall of Fame. My connection with Dusty Baker goes back five decades, back when he was a blade thin outfielder with speed and power playing for the Richmond Braves, on his way to a distinguished big league career. I watched him play a couple of games at old Parker Field, probably in 1970 or ‘71, on a team that also included two other future big league stars…Ralph Garr and Darrell Evans. Now, fifty years later, he’s still hip deep in the game of baseball, managing a team within four wins of the title. 

But other than that, nothing good would come from an Astros victory. Go Braves!!

On another topic… I leave on Tuesday headed down to Nashville to attend a business conference for four days at the Gaylord Hotel. This particular affair is an annual event that I normally boycott for a variety of reasons, chief among them being the preponderance of meetings. There are far too many to count, one hour long gauntlet of dull monotones after another for four days. But, my industry loves this sort of thing, and a surprising number of guys like me wouldn't ever miss the chance to attend. Guys who do what I do for a living are all really in to networking and cocktail parties and making small talk with a thousand strangers. I’m perfectly capable of doing all those things. In fact, I’m pretty good at all three. But, after 38 years, I’m kinda done with schmoozing. Basically, I’d rather have a root canal without anesthetic. My rule has been, I attend these things once every five years. Its all my disposition can safely handle. The fact that the meeting is being held in Nashville made the decision easier, since it means I can visit with Patrick and Sarah while I’m there. 

I will drive instead of fly. That way, I have my car with me and can bolt anytime I want, the conference equivalent of sitting on the aisle seat at church. However, as a consequence of driving, I have been roped in to taking two passengers from my office along for the ride. One is a guy who has been in the business a year longer than I have, has the money to fly but is too cheap. The other guy is brand new in the business, just a kid really, who is super amped for what he refers to as our ROAD TRIP, BABY!! All I an say is the kid better have a strong bladder or he’s gonna rue the day he hitched a ride with me!

So, for everyone out there who considers me a friend…pray for me this week. I’m gonna need it.

Saturday, October 23, 2021

Creativity Engine is on the Fritz

Writing is funny. Sometimes for me it is literally the easiest thing in the world. Half the time I feel like I could write a story on demand, out of thin air. But every once in a while it becomes hard, nearly impossible. Back in August of 2020, six months in to COVID, I started writing a story. At the time I wasn’t sure what it was going to be, a short story or novel. All I had was the basic premise and the broad outline of a protagonist. With a lot of lockdown/quarantine time on my hands, I started writing. I blazed through the first dozen chapters rather quickly. The story had exploded into something far more complex. It would be a novel.

Then around Christmas of 2020, I took a break and sat it aside for a couple months. The new year was starting and I was busy, but the characters were never very far from my mind, always dancing around in my head trying to get me to come and play. Finally at the beginning of this summer I took up the story again. One chapter after another poured forth from wherever it is that they come from. Every time I sat down to write the words came with uninterrupted speed and clarity. By August the thing had 24 chapters and 50,000 words. 

Then, one day everything stopped. The gears of the creativity engine had seized up and no matter how determined I was to write, nothing came….nothing.

So, there it sits, frozen, leaden, atrophied. I read random chapters occasionally trying to find the spark. Nothing. I still love the story and care a lot about the characters, but for the last two months, I got nothing.

This sort of thing never happens to me. The other three novels I’ve written were mostly uninterrupted 6-8 month journeys where I only took a few weeks off to tend to more pressing matters—like earning a living. This thing is different. I’ve hit a wall so formidable that I’m afraid I might never break through. Maybe this is where the story just runs out of steam and dies. Just because its never happened to me before doesn’t mean it never does happen. An unfinished story…I’m sure there are a million of them out there.

Fourteen months ago, this is how it started with this one paragraph introduction…

Daniel Sebastian Fitzgerald’s life had been an unqualified success right up to the day he took a drink from an unopened bottle of water he found while jogging in a park less than a mile from his house. At least that was the initial conclusion which most of the family had settled upon after every other explanation for his implosion had failed to withstand logical scrutiny. So bizarre were the circumstances surrounding his metamorphosis that a family of educated people had been reduced to believing an unproven and unprovable theory involving a random bottle of water that had never been found or tested for toxins that might have explained how an otherwise circumspect 56 year old man could have so suddenly and spectacularly gone off the rails. The Fitzgerald family, being as unaccustomed to and unprepared for scandal as any tribe in North America had not handled the drama well. Accusations began to fly within the family, blaming everyone from his wife of 30 years, to his impossible to please father, to his meddling mother, all the way down to his disrespectful children. But, the writer has gotten ahead of himself. The reader by now is naturally wondering about the nature of Daniel Sebastian Fitzgerald’s metamorphosis, and not nearly as concerned with the infighting of his extended family. I will attempt to tell the tale honestly without bias or judgement, for in the day and age in which we live, this story needs to be told.


Friday, October 22, 2021

Can’t Miss the Wedding

Yesterday was the last day we could RSVP for the upcoming wedding of the daughter of dear friends of ours. Pam asks, “So, what do we tell them?” She didn’t really need to ask since both of us knew that the answer was going to be…Yes, of course we will be going to the wedding. The only question was whether we would fly or drive, the venue being 650 miles away. Turns out that once you account for the cost of two flights, a two day car rental and the hassles associated with airports and connections etc. its just not worth it. So another road trip is in the works for us.

Here’s the deal…the older I get, the fewer things I want to miss. There comes a time when it occurs to you that some things are just too important. You just don’t want to miss the assembly. You can’t miss the concert, the play, the ballgame…the wedding. When my kids were little there was something every week it seemed like. But you just couldn’t miss one. You never wanted your kids to look out in the audience or the stands and not see you. Now, I’m counting the days until I have concerts and ballgames for my grandkids to attend. Until then, when a girl you have known, loved and worried about for the better part of 15 years gets married…well, its time for a road trip!

Life is short. Time is fleeting. Don’t miss the weddings.

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

What Kind of Woman Did I Marry?

It was late in the afternoon on Saturday. I was driving home from Maine on Interstate 81 south of Scranton. I had been on the road for nine hours already, bone tired, hamstrings barking. I still had a hundred miles left before our hotel in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. But, I had caught my second wind because Red Sox/Astros game 2 was on the radio. Now, with baseball to distract me, the throbbing pains in my butt and back from driving over 500 miles seemed to have diminished. Then my wife did something so out of character…she asked me a baseball question. First, some context.

In the first inning of the game, J.D. Martinez had hit a grand slam home run for the Red Sox. It was now the second inning and once again the Red Sox had the bases loaded with Rafael Devers at the plate. Pam, who is famous for her sports cluelessness, turns to me and asks a surprisingly prescient question:

“What are the odds that the Red Sox could hit another grand slam now after hitting one last inning?”

For a brief moment I was stunned that A. She had been paying attention to what happened an inning ago, and B. That she was even aware that the bases were now loaded. Once I recovered from the surprise I answered something like, “I suppose its possible, but not very likely. Grand slams are extremely rare, especially in the playoffs.”

What I didn’t know was that the radio feed of the game we were listening to had an almost 45 second delay from the television broadcast, and back in Short Pump my sister Paula was watching and had just sent Pam a text informing her that Mr. Devers had, in fact, hit yet another grand slam. So, my wife was basically messing with me. But, thats not all she was doing. She was also secretly taking photographs of me, first in nervous apprehension, and second in celebration…




This is the kind of woman I married.


Tuesday, October 19, 2021

Pride Goeth Before a Fall

Yesterday morning around 7:00 was the moment of truth. I had been putting it off ever since we got back from Maine. It was time…time to step on the scale. After two weeks of eating incredible food, devouring snacks of every description, and enjoying more adult beverages than is my custom, I was expecting the worst. Sure, I had lots of exercise, spent almost every day outside in the fresh air and all…but all that bread!! I turned on the shower, brushed my teeth while the water warmed up, then reluctantly stepped up to the plate and…nothing. I had gained…nothing. I was the exact weight I was before I left! I celebrated with a fist pump and stood under the hot water for a minute, about as self satisfied and cocky as I have been in a long time. 

…Then while reaching for the body wash I pulled a muscle in my neck. I could practically hear my mother’s voice, “Pride goeth before a fall.”

So, I have been in pain ever since, head cocked ever so slightly port side, a hand under my chin propping my head up to ease the spasms. However uncomfortable this has been, it has not prohibited me from feasting on post season baseball and the incredible runs being put on by the Red Sox and the Braves. I have enjoyed every minute of these games. I can’t remember watching a team hit quite as well as the Red Sox are hitting this post season. And watching any team beat the Dodgers has been glorious. Sure, I have my qualms with certain aspects of modern baseball. Eduardo Rodriguez goes 6 innings and gives up three runs and you’d think he was the reincarnation of Cy Young to hear the announcers gushing. Bob Gipson, Sandy Koufax, and Mickey Lolitch must be shaking their heads in disbelief at what passes for dominant post season pitching these days. But, I quibble. Its still baseball and I still love it.

Thursday, October 14, 2021

Saying Goodbye to Maine

Friday will be our last day here, bringing to an end what has been seven weeks in Maine for 2021. As I was on the lake fishing this morning I tried to calculate how much time I have actually spent up here in my 63 years. It’s fuzzy and all runs together in my memory, all the trips to Webb Lake with the kids, and the ten years of coming to Midcoast. The best I could come up was just a couple weeks shy of an entire year. Then, this afternoon, I started reading a book by the famous Maine man of letters, John N. Cole. He makes this statement which I found both jarring and profound, “I have not lived all my life in Maine, but Maine is the only place I’ve lived my life.” Although it is not completely true for me since I love Virginia and am proud to be a Virginian—a title that still means something—it is at least partially true. The time I spend here has had a greater impact on me than any place I have ever been. I think differently here, eat differently, do different sorts of things. Life feels different, less rigorous with fewer anxious moments. Time loses its relentless grip, freeing you up to stay in the moment…something that I have always struggled to do.

This will be my last blog about Maine for quite a while. We don’t return until July 8th of 2022. That means that from now until then life gets serious again. Back home we have stuff to do, jobs that require our attention, people to see, places to go, grass to cut. I will have two stacks of mail to open. At home it will be 75% political attack mail warning me about how diabolical some candidate is and warning me of how absolutely vital it is that I vote for the other candidate.  My office mail will be 75% junk that wild horses could not make me open. Sometimes I think if it weren’t for junk mail, the Postal service could cut back to three days a week delivery and no one would notice or care, not to mention how much less trash would wind up in the landfill. I received no mail in the seven weeks we spent here. It felt like a great cleansing.

Plenty of bad things happened while we were here. The world doesn’t stop just because we have withdrawn temporarily. A close friend of mine lost a dear family friend to a surprise blood clot in the middle of the night. He was 41 years old. Two family members got COVID. William Shatner went to space. This world keeps on turning. Sunday afternoon when we roll into our driveway, we will be right back in the middle of it all, having been refreshed body and soul by a place that never seems to change. The wind is still fresh in our faces, the lake still shimmers with sunlight, and the loons still call out to us. The lobster is still sweet, the shops still smell of balsam and the sea, and the people are still delightfully quirky. And we still haven’t found our dream camp, which only means that we are an entire year closer to meeting her. 

I will close with another quotation from Mr. Cole from the book, In Maine:

“In Maine, I have watched the wind being born, birthing in the western sky and then feathering the bay’s silken surface with the first tentative touch of its young pinions. I have seen the nor’westers make a sea of our meadow, rolling the high grass in waves that break on the crest of our hill. I have felt the same wind fill a sail with a hard slap that sets my boat a running. It does the same thing to me. It dashes its fresh chill in my face, clears my head and sets my thoughts a running.”