Slack-Cutting

I’ve decided that I’m in the slack-cutting business. It’s a good business to be in at this moment in time since it seems I have very little competition. I could have —and probably should have — opened up shop years ago, but I didn’t have it in me. Back then I knew everything. 

You learn that some old friends of yours have separated and are contemplating a divorce. Twenty years ago news like this would have provoked a different reaction in me… back in the days when I knew everything. Divorce was simply a failure of the will, indicative of weakness and emotional laziness and more often than not an indication of infidelity, already committed or actively contemplated. I came to these conclusions not because of personal first hand knowledge, but rather from inflexible judgment. Twenty years later, although many of these judgments may still be true, I come down firmly on the side of mercy and grace, two vital components of the slack-cutting business.

First of all, I’ve never gone through a divorce. I have absolutely no idea what its like. I don’t know the first thing about the anguish, sadness, and pain experienced by the participants. I cannot think of any human experience that produces anything approaching divorce-level despair other than the death of a loved one. In many respects, a divorce is exactly like death. Something has died which produces both mourning and grief. Somewhere down the line I have started to react to news of divorce more like someone who mourns rather than judge and jury.

But, its not just divorce, it’s practically every area of human failing. Being in the judgment business is exhausting. I’m no good at it primarily because I’m much more aware of my own capacity for failure than I used to be. It’s such a strange thing. When I was younger I looked at most older people and felt that the older they got the more judgmental they became. But as I have gotten older its been a different story. I’m more aware of my own sin, not less. I’m more aware of my inconsistencies and hypocrisy, not less. Grace has become for me an absolute essential, not merely an abstract spiritual concept. Not only do I desperately need it, but I’ve found that giving grace to others has made me…happier. Leaving the judgment to God has taken a heavy burden off of me. Cutting people some slack can be a profitable business.

I wish my friends well. I pray for restoration if it is possible. But if not, I wish them well and hope they both find peace and a more fulfilling life.