There’s an old saying in show business…the show must go on. Unfortunately, this
old saying comes with a twenty-first century addendum…unless you get threatened by hackers.
Yesterday, a day where being a Communist made a
comeback, not only did the 60 year embargo on Cuba get lifted, but a handful of
pajama-wearing, basement-living geeks managed to bring Sony Entertainment to
its knees. Ten days ago, they hacked into Sony’s computer system, demanding
that the upcoming movie, “The Interview” be cancelled. Yesterday, Sony
capitulated, giving the anonymous hackers everything they asked for. Revenge of
the Nerds, indeed.
The ransom note left by the hackers reads like the
assembly instructions that come with those entertainment system cabinets you
buy at Target. Apparently, North Korean doesn’t translate well to English:
“remember the 11th
of September, we recommend you to keep to keep yourself distant from the places
at that time…Soon all the world will see what an awful movie Sony Entertainment
has made, then the world will be full of fear…All the world will denounce the
Sony”
This stinging rebuke comes from a country whose people
subsist on sticks and berries.
Still, on a day where Regal Cinemas announced their
refusal to show the movie in question, Sony followed with a full retreat,
pulling the film from every movie theatre in the world. This, despite the fact
that the FBI finds zero evidence of any active threats to any cinema in the
United States.
Before all the hubbub about “The Interview,” this
movie would have appeared dead last on my “List of Things To Do Before I Die”
list. But when I see naked cowardice and capitulation it serves to give me an
insatiable appetite for horrible movies. If I ran Sony pictures, I would have
been handing out free tickets! If I owned a Cineplex, I would be giving out
free popcorn and drinks to anyone who showed up. I would make it my avowed goal
to break Gone With The Wind’s 70 year old box office records. Then I would take
out full page ads in every newspaper from Variety to the New York Times saying…Dear
North Korean Hackers,…..Kiss My Ass.
This is not who we are in America, or at least, it’s
not who we used to be. We love liberty, we cherish our freedom, yes even our
freedom to indulge in terrible films. We have always gotten highly annoyed when
anyone tried to censor art. And while The Interview isn’t exactly Hamlet, this
is America. If we want to spend our money watching a comedy about the CIA
hiring a couple of Hollywood types to go kill a dictator in North Korea, well…that’s
our business.
Today it appears that personal safety trumps liberty
and freedom. The mere possibility of violence is enough to send corporate types
into the high grass in fear of lawsuits. We used to be made of sterner stuff.
Imagine what we would have done in the 40’s had Hitler vowed violent attacks on
anyone going to see Casablanca? Suppose the Soviets had threatened death on
anyone daring enough to pay money to see Dr. Strangelove back in the 60’s? It
would have been laughable.
But here we are in 2014, losing a huge battle in the
Cyberwar, to a bunch of computer hackers.
