How is Christmas exactly like your real job?
You do all the hard work, then some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
How come Santa didn’t sign up for Obamacare?
Because he has private elf-care.
What do you call a snowman with six pack abs?
An abdominal snowman.
What’s another name for Santa’s little helpers?
Subordinate Clause’s
Incidentally, before publishing these jokes I ran them by a friend of mine who is probably my worst critic. Let’s just say that although she is quite talented in other areas, her sense of humor isn’t what anyone would call…robust. I would share her name, but I don’t have her permission so I’ll just refer to her by her initials—SHERRI MATTHEWS. Anyway, she loved these jokes. In fact, its safe to say that she was speechless. Her favorite one wasn’t really a Christmas joke but since she almost actually chuckled, I’ll end with it:
Did you hear where the Mother Superior down at the Nunnery has banned all perfume immediately?
She made it absolutely clear that she wasn’t about to tolerate any…
…nun scents.
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