Dear Congressperson _________________,
As a law-abiding, tax-paying citizen of your
district here in _____________, I have watched events unfolding in Washington
with a mixture of disgust and resignation, disgust because of your gross incompetence,
resignation because ultimately, there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it
because your district has been gerrymandered beyond my reach. So your position
and privilege has become your own personal fiefdom complete with posh offices,
large staff and a generous retirement package, all courtesy of the tax-payer…but
that’s a subject for another day.
The purpose of this letter is merely therapeutic.
You see, we law-abiding, tax-paying citizens can only take so much. After a
while, we have to let off some steam, and right now, I’m plenty steamed. Today’s
New York Times informs me that although the 3000 page Affordable Care Act that
you passed without reading is putting people like me through the ringer trying
to navigate its ridiculously useless website, you and your 535 colleagues are
sailing right through the enrolment process. That’s because you guys have a
special “dedicated congressional
insurance plan assistance line” to call. Not only that, when deciding which
plan to choose, you and your loyal staff get the benefit of “in-person support sessions” conducted at
your offices by the local exchanges and four separate insurance companies. If
you’re still confused after all this one on one attention, you can always log
on to a “special Blue Cross-Blue Shield
website for members of congress only along with a handy exclusive toll-free
number dedicated to your needs.” But this isn’t even the best part. While
we, the great unwashed, have to make do with four plans, you and your buddies
get to pick from a dizzying array of over 112 gold options.
Back a couple of years ago when you were trying to rally
support for this law, you made a speech at the mall over in ____________ville,
where you said that you would be the first in line when it came to signing up
for ObamaCare, so thrilled were you to have access to such great insurance. You
made a point of assuring us that if this law was good enough for the American
people it should be good enough for members of Congress. But that wasn’t
exactly true, was it Congressperson _____________? We might all be created
equal, but the truth is that members of Congress are always just a bit more
equal than the rest of us, isn’t that true Congressperson__________________?
You and your friends disgust me. It’s not your
political views, not your party affiliation, not even your ideology. It’s your
clueless, tone-deaf sense of entitlement, your infuriating man/woman-of-the-people
shtick, your arrogant condescension, that makes me want to throw up every time I see
your pie-hole flapping on my television.
Admittedly, that last paragraph was a little over
the top with the vitriol but that’s the letting off steam part I referred to
earlier. I don’t expect or desire a response from you or your well-staffed
office, and I certainly don’t expect this letter to do any good whatsoever in improving
the performance of your duties, but I’ve got to tell you…I feel much better
already.
Sincerely,
_____________________
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