Having Fun Yet?

Part II of my very first root canal careened into an extraction, late this afternoon, when my highly compensated Oral Surgeon decided that the tooth had cracked beyond repair. So, since I was indisposed, he went out into the lobby to inform my wife that it would have to be pulled, I suppose to get her permission. So now I'm wearing this really cool makeshift ice pack made out of ice, a plastic zip-lock bag and a sacrificed pair of gray pantyhose. The Novocain is still working, so I can't even feel how cold this thing is. Tomorrow morning should be interesting, given that I'm sure it will be pounding and no telling how swollen it will be. But, I will head to the office anyway, if for no other reason than to give Kristin the opportunity to make fun of my predicament. 

However, do not fear. This is the one and only photograph anyone will ever see of this event. There will be no close-up selfies of the inside of my mouth, no graphic shots of blood-soaked gauze. Those gory details will be reserved for only Lucy and Me. Pam is out buying me some tomato soup, bless her heart.

Unanswerable Questions

Here's a partial list of the unanswerable questions ricocheting around the vast empty rooms in my head.

How is it that every time some ugly discovery from Donald Trump's wretched past comes to light, evangelical Christians trot out the, "we are all sinners" routine, but never ever extend that redemptive get-out-of-jail-free card to Bill or Hillary Clinton?

Speaking of Donald Trump's sex life, where are all the Democrats who constantly scolded us back in the 90's that we should lay off Bill Clinton because "everybody lies about sex"  and what somebody does in their private life has nothing to do with their ability to do their job?

Why are liberal Democrats so willing to support someone who has such an incestuous relationship with Wall Street? Hasn't this been the number one knock against Republicans for over a century, that they are in bed with monied interest? So, how does Hillary get a pass after making 20 million giving cozy speeches to these fat cats?

If walls don't work, how come practically every important politician in this country lives behind one?

If the public schools are so great and indispensable, how come politicians who live in big cities send their kids to private schools?

If Obamacare is so wonderful, how come Congress exempted itself from its most onerous provisions?

Speaking of Congress, how come they exempt themselves from practically every problematic law they pass?

If Hillary Clinton is so pissed off about the glass ceiling and the wage gap between women and men, how come that wage gap exists in her own campaign organization?

How come Trump's supporters tout his toughness and resiliency in overcoming setbacks in business as proof that he's a fighter and doesn't quit. Isn't bankruptcy exactly that...quitting on your creditors and investors? Wouldn't a fighter have stuck it out and figured a way to honor his commitments?

Why have none of our intelligence experts figured out the real reason why the Muslim world is so angry and violent is because they aren't allowed to eat bacon?

Why is everybody acting so shocked when they discover, courtesy of Wikileaks, that politicians talk differently in private than they do in public? Where have these people been for the last, I don't know...2000 years? Forget politicians. . . don't you?

These People...

Decency.

I wake up this morning in the beautiful Smoky Mountains, read the news from overnight and my soul longs for...decency. Someone, anyone, man or woman, rich or poor, Democrat or Republican, just someone with an ounce of decency to rise up and be counted. I'm starving here.

The Great Unpersuadables

With the release of the Donald Trump locker room talk video, I have noticed something. It has changed nobody's mind. Trump haters hate him even more, and Trump lovers have somehow found more to love. The American people have become the Great Unpersuadables.

I actually read a tweet today from someone who was making the case post-video that it has always been men of great failings that God has chosen to use for his purposes, comparing Mr. Trump favorably to King David. Some lady declared that now that she has heard the video, she has found even more reasons to love him. Many evangelicals were quick to point out that they have never thought Trump to be a paragon of virtue. Still others have played the, but what about Bill Clinton's rapes?? Some were quick to compare Trump's video trash talk with Hillary's Benghazi failings, Trump's locker room talk didn't get anyone killed,  apparently meant as a mic-drop debate stopper.

All of this is setting up Sunday's debate to be possibly the single most disgusting gutter-scraping public spectacle in American history. It may be the first presidential debate which will require a bleeping censor. In the past 24 hours, the words p***y and f**k have been introduced as evidence in the case of U.S Press v. Donald Trump. Not to be outdone, the Trump camp has via the U.K. Daily Mail entered the phrase attributed to Bill Clinton that his wife had "***** **** p***y than he had" into the public record. So, try to imagine the dignity and decorum that will be on display when our two presidential candidates take the town hall stage Sunday Night. It will be Beavis and Butt Head meats the Jim Lehrer Hour. It has come to this . . . A presidential debate needs a disclaimer:

The following program contains adult situations and adult language. Parental discretion is advised.

My Weekend

This is our view for the next few days. That's Gatlinburg, Tennessee . . . or as it's known in some quarters, Hillbilly Vegas. 

This is the deck that overlooks the view. All things considered, better than laying down tar with the chain gang in Cool Hand Luke.

And, this is the main floor living room and kitchen where much baseball will be watched. Yes, that is a container of cowboy cookies, and yes, despite the early hour, I have already had one. Thanks, Paula!

Once all the kids get here, photographs of them may follow.

The Real October Surprise

Conor Gillaspie. You heard of him? Me neither. But this is playoff baseball and this is how it works, especially if you're the San Francisco Giants. I've been watching these guys do this for ten years now it seems. In other years it was Cody Ross or Marco Scutaro. In still others it was Joe Panik or Brandon Crawford. None of these guys are hall of famers. They won't make anybody's all star team. But once the calander flips to October, they come out of the woodwork in the city by the bay.

Conor freaking Gillaspie, who earlier this year was anonymously toiling away in the Pacific Coast league, who was a former first round pick of these same Giants back in 2008 only to be unceremoniously traded away a few years later, walked up to the plate last night in the ninth inning of a scoreless tie with two on and one out and turned around a 96 mph fastball from one of the best closers in baseball. He did this with a million eyes on him, just him. He was no nickel back in a prevent defense that blends in with the furniture in football. Baseball is the ultimate team game, but the irony is, the game features a series of 27 one on one matchups. Just you and the pitcher. And in October with the game on the line, those matchups feature the white hot glare of millions of eyes.

Sometimes it's the big stars who are the heros. Madison Bumgarner is a big star and he was a hero last night. Tuesday night it was Jose Bautista and Edwin Encarnacion, big stars who basked in the glory of the limelight. But baseball always gives us a Conor Gillaspie.

God how I do love this game.