My Strange Dog

There is something mysterious about dogs. Usually that term is applied to cats since everything about them is mysterious. But with dogs its different. This morning was a perfect example.

I came down the stairs at my usual time. Lucy is generally always asleep or at least dozing on her bed in the living room. But this morning she was standing at the window looking out into the darkness in a high state of anxiety. First a few muffled barks, then an intense, menacing growl came forth from some dark place within her as she stiffened, erect and alert. I walk over to comfort her but she was having none of it. I looked out the window and saw nothing in the darkness. I turned on the front porch light which revealed an entirely empty front yard. I put the leash on Lucy and took her out for her morning constitutional. Although she eventually took care of business, she did so only after a thorough inspection of the entire yard, all the while growling with her head on a swivel. Once back inside, she showed no interest in her breakfast, preferring to remain on full alert at the front windows.

Although this was a unique incident, there have been other times when Lucy snaps her head skyward with wide eyes, and soft growl at some unseen thing. It's as if she sees things that we don't. We already know that dogs hear frequencies of sound that our ears do not recognize. Molly used to run into the middle of the back yard and start howling for no apparent reason, then 15 seconds later we would hear the approaching rescue squad siren. Maybe dogs also see things that we cant see. I'm not a big believer in ghosts and spirits, but when I see the hair on Lucy's back come up as she stairs down an empty hallway, it gives me the creeps.

We know that there are some dogs who can detect cancer in someone, who can actually smell it on them. These amazing animals seem to have some sort of gifted intuition. Of course, in Lucy's case it might just be that she is neurotic enough to be capable of doggy hallucinations. Or we might have mice. Who knows?

But it wouldn't surprise me at all if we one day discover that dogs are dialed in to the spirit world in ways that no one ever imagined.

Global Warming, the explanation for everything.

As the great blizzard of 2015 is walloping the east coast, I am being equally pummeled by the confusing claims of the climate change experts. A year ago a New York Times story appeared with the provocative headline, " the end of snow?" The global warming  cartel at the United Nations back in 2001 confidently predicted much milder winters and much less snowfall, claiming particularly that large snowstorms would virtually disappear. Well, we're only halfway through the 2010's and this is the 14th such mega snow storm to hit the east coast, making the past ten years the snowiest on record.  No worries though, because now the climate gurus tell us that major snowstorms like this are actually caused by the very same climate change forces that were supposed to make them a thing of the past.

Huh?

There's one thing I've noticed over the years with the settled science of global warming. No weather event ever provides anything but confirmation for scientists. Having lots of tornados? That's because of global climate change. Where have all the tornados gone? Global climate change. You say you're having a mild winter? Of course you are. Global climate change will do that. Getting hammered by one killer snowstorm after another? Why, it's that global climate change again!

The other day I read a story that proclaimed 2014 as the hottest year on record. A few days later another story comes out that had the same dudes at NASA who made the original claim walking back the story and admitting that the claim was made based on one-hundreds of a degree variations. All of this despite the fact that the planet's "inevitable, incontrovertible" warming trend is now in it's 18th year of...not warming. It's enough to drive a non-scientist to drink.

I'm not only not a scientist, I'm not even science-y. I don't even like Sci-Fi. But I am a relatively alert observer of contemporary culture and current events. Here's what I have observed over the last twenty years about global warming/climate change. It seems to be a totally unfalsifiable theory in that  no weather event anywhere in the world ever serves any purpose other than serving as more "proof" that global warming/climate change is real and that we are all doomed unless we tax something or someone to death to fix it. If anyone brings up the strange gymnastics required to blame both too much snow and not enough snow on the same theory, the true believers look at you like you've got two heads. " How dare you question the settled science, you flat-earth denier!!"

Things I Don't Believe

What follows is a partial list of stuff I don't believe. Some of them are things I may have believed at one time but no longer do because of education, training and experience. Some are things that I have never believed but are listed here because so many other people do. Some are people who I believe cannot be trusted to tell the truth. Some are people who do tell the truth on occasion but have lapsed into the bad habit of circumstantial fibbing. This is not to say that I always tell the truth. Far from it. We are all capable of lies great and small. These are merely the ones which are most obvious to me.

1. With regards to Barack Obama... I do not believe that he is a Muslim, a closet Communist, or is secretly trying to destroy the country because he hates America. No one in the history of this Republic has benefitted more from the American Dream than our current President, and I believe he knows this full well. There's a gigantic difference between being a Manchurian candidate and being merely mistaken about policy. I profoundly disagree with his conception of the role of government and the nature and purpose of the Constitution. This does not require me to adopt a conspiracy theory which places the President of the United States at the center of some nefarious plot to destroy the country. Calm down people.

2. I do not believe that global warming is the gravest threat to the survival of the planet. That prize goes to the existence of thermo-nuclear devices winding up in the hands of an outfit like a Boko Haram. I believe that science knows precious little about something as impossibly complex as planetary climate and to advance the notion that their limited knowledge is complete and certain enough to call for the reordering of society is the single worst example of hubris ever to manifest itself on planet earth.

3. In 2008 I believed that Sarah Palin was a nice enough person but had no business being a heartbeat away from the Presidency. Today, I believe that she is an embarrassing nut job.

4. I once believed that Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots were always being accused of cheating because the rest of the league was jealous and simply tired of getting their collective asses kicked. Now I believe that maybe they are cheaters. Where there is this much smoke, there's bound to be some fire.

5. I used to believe that church was too stuffy. Now I don't think church is stuffy enough. Too much glib familiarity and not enough reverence and awe.

6. Modern education theory and practice hasn't had a decent idea since the one room schoolhouse.

7. Speaking of education, there probably exists nowhere a more destructive idea than the notion that "anyone can teach."  While anyone might, in fact, be allowed to teach, real teachers are those very few among us with the gift of teaching. The ones without this gift comprise the majority of employed teachers in America. Those with this gift change the world.

8. I do not believe that the history of the world is the story of decline and ruin, rather I believe that history illustrates the evidence for the gradual betterment of mankind. Who among us would prefer to live in the Middle Ages with its barbarism or even the 1920's in America when the second leading cause of death was diarrhea?

9. I believe that salvation is a lot simpler than the Catholics would have us believe and a lot more complicated than we Baptist hope it is.

10. I used to believe that Walt Whitman was an overrated hack. But the other night I read "A Song of Myself" again and discovered that it was quite beautiful.

Davos and Me

It's 40 degrees and raining outside, trapping me inside the house on this Saturday. I don't have many options today, unlike the world's super elite who are gathered at Davos, Switzerland. They invented options.

This annual confab of politicians, CEO's and celebrities never gets old for me. It's called The World Economic Forum, and I love it! Nothing says "irony" like fifty billionaires lecturing me about conspicuous consumption and the evils of capitalism. This year someone actually counted the private jets...1,700. It took that many private, ozone-depleting airplanes to fly the world's richest people to a resort in the Alps to discuss climate change. The same people who lecture the rest of us about sustainable lifestyles are paying 47 bucks for a hamburger. Some billionaire gave a speech informing us that we Americans will have to learn to get by with less in the future. That same billionaire flew to Davos in a private jet with not one but TWO nannies on board.

Still, Davos is the place to see and be seen for the world's .003%. No oligarch would be caught dead anywhere else the third weekend in Janurary. There will be panel discussions on all of the trendiest topics of the day. There will be speeches by the most beautiful people on earth. The wealthiest men and women will have an opportunity to demonstrate their knowledge of world issues, and show their concern for the 99.997% of the world who can't afford two nannies. There will be cocktail parties and concerts, private screenings of earnest documentaries bemoaning some coming appocholypse. Al Gore, the patron saint of Davos will be there in his exalted position as "conscience of the planet." Bill Clinton always can be depended upon to make an appearance pitching some Global initiative or another, usually surrounded by a bevy of hot snow-bunnies. Bill Gates is essentially the mayor of Davos. He's on practically every panel, and why not? Between he and his wife Melinda, they give
away more money than the rest of the attendees combined, buying them a boatload of indulgence and
a coveted spot in the hierarchy of the most covetous people on the planet.

Meanwhile, we gluttonous Americans are at home be-spoiling the planet with callous disregard for the sustainability of our lifestyles, paying a mere $2.25 for a whopper with cheese at Burger King.

Somebody's Lying in Boston

Somebody's lying up in Boston and this time it's not a politician.

Yesterday, Bill Belichick and Tom Brady both held press conferences to give their version of Deflate-Gate, and each of them denied any culpability. If they are to be believed, the twelve game balls from the AFC championship game against the Colts lost a pound and a half of air pressure all by themselves. Meanwhile, Russell Wilson is studying game film until one o'clock in the morning in a basement somewhere in Seattle.

Frankly, besides Mr. Wilson, there isn't much to like about either of these teams. The Seahawks defense is full of trash talking egomaniacs, Pete Carrol isn't exactly a paragon of virtue even in comparison with Belichick. The Patriots, for all their record of excellence, give off an ugly vibe of arrogance and more than a whiff of cheating. So, what is a football fan to do?

And another thing... I love Russell Wilson, everything about him. I love that he's from my hometown. I love his leadership, his clutch performances, his professionalism and his character. But if I could have a word with him before the Super Bowl here's what I would tell him:

" Russell, love ya man and I'm pulling for you in the big game. But if you are fortunate enough to win today could you do me a huge favor and not tell everyone that God was responsible for the win? Listen, I'm glad you're a believer, so am I, but I'm pretty sure that God doesn't get involved in the outcome of sporting events and to suggest that he does makes him seem small somehow. I know that's not your intent, but that's the way it comes across to millions of people on television, so... I mean it's fine to thank God for giving you an opportunity to play in such a huge game, but to suggest that God was somehow on your side is a theological leap. Just sayin'.

State of the Union

There was a State of the Union speech last night. When it was over my son texted me for my thoughts. I had to confess to him that I hadn't watched. That's probably a bad thing, an unsatisfactory example of civic disengagement on my part. I almost feel bad. I can remember a time when I wouldn't have missed it. That was back when I had a more exalted view of the process, back before I was tasked with the job of paying for it all, back before I had much experience dealing with the federal government in the very real world of business ownership. Those were the days.

I'm informed by my much more optimistic and much less jaded son that the President proposed a treasure trove of new benefits and entitlements for the middle class, things like expanded child care tax credits and paid maternity and sick leave. "Why are we the only advanced nation on earth that doesn't have these things," the President asked. This on top of his new free community college for all proposal of last week, all paid for by a tax on the richest 1%, which my son gleefully pointed out doesn't include me! " You're off the hook Dad, relax."

That's great to know...that I'm off the hook. It's also encouraging to hear that the President actually at least tacitly admitted that all of these wonderful new free things are not really free, that somebody's taxes will have to be raised to "pay" for them. This amounts to political progress, I suppose. Who could possibly object to taxes being raised on a handful of billionaires, right? And what cold-hearted child hating person could possibly object to paid maternity leave?  Talk about your low-hanging fruit?

One is left to wonder why the President waited until his party lost both houses of Congress to go all
FDR on us. Perhaps he is as cynical as he accuses his opponents of being. Maybe he knows that he
and his party can get the benefit of being seen as "concerned" about the middle class without having
to go to the trouble of actually getting these programs passed and administered. Then they can run in the next election against the obstructionists in the other party. " It's those nasty Republicans standing between you and all of this cool free stuff!" Good strategy actually.

Let me try to answer the President's question. He asked  rhetorically, " why is it that we are the only advanced nation on earth without paid maternity leave?" By asking the question, he is clearly suggesting that this is a grand failure on our part, that despite our wealth and power we have failed our citizens by not adequately protecting them from the vagaries of life. My answer is this... The reason we don't provide the sort of cradle to grave social safety net that is common in much of Europe is the fact that up until maybe twenty years ago a majority of Americans felt that it wasn't the proper role of government to do such a thing. Even FDR' s signature achievement, Social Security, was made possible by and is still sustained by the notion that it is most definitely NOT a welfare plan.
It is a retirement plan that we CONTRIBUTE to. Americans have had for most of our history this
quaint notion that we are responsible for our own lives. We haven't wanted or needed a bunch of do-gooders from Washington or anywhere else coming in telling us what to do. This fiercely independent streak has in no small part been responsible for this nation's astounding and unprecedented rise from colony status a mere 250 years ago to the world-striding powerhouse of today. It has also been the reason that our shores have been the beacon for millions fleeing places with much more intrusive governments than our own. For most of our history, Americans have thought it ridiculous that we would tax the man down the street or across the State in order to force an employer to pay someone else to stay home after the birth of a child. Sure it's a nice thought, but not something that any government should have the right to INSIST upon.

But, the times, they are a changin'. Most Americans I would imagine think that all of these free things are a great idea. Why shouldn't we be more like France? Especially, since it's only the "rich" who will have to pay for it all.


I believe that the future belongs to the Democrats. There are far more voters who are middle class than there are millionaires and billionaires. There are many more voters who want more from their government than there are those who want the government to leave them alone. I hope it works out. But my reading of history and my experience with government is that entitlements that are sold as being free or that are described as benefits that will be financed by the idle rich have a way of morphing into something that costs an awful lot more than advertised. And when that happens, it won't be my generation who gets stuck with the bill.

Lucy's New Thing

Now that all remnants of Christmas have been returned to the attic, Lucy seems back to normal. By normal I mean her regular skittishness as opposed to the manic, projectile-pooping mess of a dog she was once the trees went up. With each new day she is more confident, playful and adventurous. Hopefully by next Christmas she will have grown out of all her neurosis.

Now we only have one major Lucy related problem. Although she is our third Golden Retreiver, she is the first to ever manifest this particular tendency. At least we think so since neither one of us remember Murphy or Molly...shedding. Lucy is a shedding machine! We only allow her to get up on one piece of furniture in the house, our sofa downstairs. Accordingly, we drape a blanket over it each and every morning. By the end of the day the thing is covered, plastered in short, blond hairs. But it's not just the blanket. Every piece of clothing that we own proudly proclaims evidence of her existence. The inside of our dryer is covered with the stuff.

Since getting Lucy was my idea, I feel a special guilt when it comes to any added hassle or work that she visits upon us. So, I'm the one who is in charge of it. I take her to the vet, I bathe her, I feed her, take her for walks and now...I give her her daily brushing. My Dyson vacuum is going to explode one of these Saturday's from exhaustion.

I keep thinking that maybe it's a puppy thing. Maybe when she gets older and stops growing the shedding will stop or at least lessen. Maybe she sheds because of her skittishness and once she chills out a little it will stop. And maybe President Obama will become a raging conservative. It could happen, right?