Pam’s Birthday

Today is this woman’s birthday. She has been by my side for the best part of 40 years now. It is always difficult to describe her to anyone who hasn’t had the opportunity to meet her. “Are you married?” a stranger will ask. “Tell me about her”

I start with the usual compliments about her beauty, grace and intelligence. I sprinkle in a few antidotes about her legendary talents of organization, hospitality and computer skills. But eventually it occurs to me that the best way to describe Pam Dunnevant is to list the things that she hates, the relatively short list of people and things that annoy her. After all, you can tell an awful lot about someone by knowing who their enemies are. So, here goes…

1. Heat and Humidity

Nothing in all of God’s creation bothers my wife more than sweat. Heat and humidity can transform her from literally the most agreeable woman of all time to a raving lunatic in mere minutes. Anyone who enters our house has no doubt noticed the brisk temperature which she insists upon during all four seasons. Early in our marriage this was a battle line between us, but she prevailed over three decades ago. Now, when I walk into my office at work I crank down the thermostat by force of habit, much to the squealing complaints of everyone else in the building. Pam, after all, is a Maine girl who never signed a peace agreement with heat and humidity when she moved to Virginia all those years ago. She has fought a pitched battle with it for most of her life, especially each morning when she is fixing her hair. And while she truly loathes H & H in Virginia, the level of hostility ratchets up to dizzying heights when it visits her in Maine. 

2. Making a Grocery List

I’m not sure its fair to say they she hates this. Its more accurate to say that she finds it extremely annoying. Pam is not the ind of person to just…go the grocery store. She is a planner. Each trip to the store must have an agenda, a plan. This means she must first plan the meals for the week, a time consuming process for a detail oriented woman like my wife. But, she employs an impressive list of tools to manage the process including a gadget on her cell phone that organizes her list to coincide with the floor layout at Publix. Yeah, I know. This is next level stuff. She is constantly asking me, “Is there anything you need at the grocery store?” My answer is always some form of, “not that I can think of,” which is a constant source of annoyance for her. She often reminds me to add things I need to the digital grocery list by telling Alexa. There are certain words you have to say for it to work and I always seem to foul it up so I make her system a spotty enterprise.

3. Making Decisions

Pam married someone who is highly intuitive. I have always been a very decisive person. I make decisions based only partly on the facts. The most forceful driver for me has always been something hard to quantify…my gut feeling. For Pam, there is no such thing as a gut feeling. Gut feelings are things for which one purchases antacids. Her mind is an analytic marvel of spreadsheets and Google-Doc imaginings that produce mountains of data, so much in fact that she becomes paralyzed, or paralysis by analysis. On the plus side, this woman has never gone off anywhere half cocked.

4. Rude People

I hesitate to use the word “people” here since my wife loves practically everyone. Perhaps I should have said, rudeness. Pam is someone who was raised by her parents to have manners. I’m aware that this particular term has fallen out of favor of late, but it very much defines Pam. So when she observes rudeness in others it infuriates her. I know what you’re thinking, “Wait Doug, you’re not exactly what anyone would describe as polite. What did she see in you??” Excellent point. Some of the words that have come out of my mouth over the years have caused her much wincing and gnashing of teeth. So, if you think I can be a bit rude at times, imagine how terrible I would be if I had married someone else! This rudeness thing is one of the reasons for her intense dislike of…

5. Donald Trump

Pam is the most un-political person I know. She just isn’t in to liberal vs. conservative, democrat vs. republican. It mostly bores her so she largely ignores the political world. EXCEPT when it comes to DT. His personality of rudeness, arrogance and meanness drives her insane. She can hardly bear to hear his voice or watch his image on television. For Pam it has far less to do with the man’s politics (which are troublesome enough), and far more to do with his demeanor and comportment. No manners. No empathy for anyone other than himself. No class.

So, thats about all I can think of. For all of you who know her you will understand me when I say that she is the most beautiful, kind, respectful, loving, gracious, hospitable and long suffering person I have ever known. On this day we will celebrate her by doing whatever she wants to do. Knowing her she won’t be able to decide so she’ll just say, “lets just do what you all want to do!!” But as long as none of us are rude and don’t bring Donald Trump up in conversation it will be a wonderful day!

Week Three Begins

We began week three with yet another Biblical rainstorm that raised the lake level even higher and cooled down the water temperature considerably. The weather on this trip hasn’t been the greatest, but I can remember years where Pam and I ate 17 consecutive meals outside on the deck table here at Loon Landing, so it all evens out over time. Great news is that Kaitlin and Jon arrived Saturday evening! They look great and had a wonderful couple of days exploring the coast before their arrival here. Their first full day here featured pounding rain, fog and dreariness. We spent Sunday lounging around, eating delicious food, talking, reading and napping. Then yesterday morning we headed into Camden for blueberry pancakes and some shopping. By the time we were done, the sun was out. The afternoon was spent enjoying the beautiful lake as it was meant to be enjoyed, with sunscreen and charcuterie boards. Jon finally, mercifully caught his first fish! I would have taken a picture but my cell camera isn’t made to focus on anything that small…

My daughter is fond of taking pictures which feature coffee. Any excuse will do. If the light is right she will snap a picture of her steaming mug even if the background was the county dump. So yesterday she snapped this one at The Camden Deli…

I must say that this photograph does a nice job of capturing the change that comes over us here. Those two kids look relaxed and happy because they are. Right after this was taken I walked a couple doors down and spent a small fortune at The Smiling Cow for presents for the girls back at the office. Also got to catch up with Meg, the owner of the place, who is a delight.

Tomorrow, Paula and Ron arrive just in time to celebrate Pam’s birthday, which I think will be celebrated at Archer’s restaurant on the water in Rockland. Around here, plans 36 hours out are always tentative.

I miss my boy. Patrick and Sarah couldn’t make it up this year. When we had our mid-afternoon charcuterie board we sent Sarah a picture since she was the one who introduced us to the idea several summers ago. Although I’m not sure Lucy could handle two more of her people up here showering her with love, devotion and attention! That dog is going to be impossible to live with when we get her back home!!

Not sure what the weather holds for us today. One forecast calls for sunny, another for partly cloudy and yet another for a 40% chance of storms. However, I do know what is in store for me this morning—the very rude imposition of work. There’s a state tax issue to clear up, and a handful of clients to call and a paperwork foul up to correct. Doing work up here is like farting at a funeral. It just doesn’t feel right.

PS…There’s a cabin we might take a tour of coming up soon. Will keep you advised.

Moving Day

Yesterday saw the return of something that had been missing from our lives. Hard work. Moving day on Quantabacook isn’t easy. When we pack the car to come to Maine we have two days of driving before we have to unpack. Moving day is when you have to pack, unpack, and organize an entirely new cabin in one day. I know what you’re thinking, “Boo Hoo!! Poor vacationers had to actually do something besides swim and fish for a change!! Boo Hoo.” Excellent point! Suffice it to say that thanks to my hard working wife, Loon Landing is in top form and ready for the arrival of Jon and Kaitlin this evening.

During the night a heavy downpour hit. The sound that rain makes on a tin roof is about as soothing a sound as exists in this world. It doesn’t actually wake you up, but as you lie there in your bed you become aware of the rain and you are comforted. Lucy knows Loon Landing and is completely at home.

I have posted many pictures in this space of this fabulous place. Although much smaller than Summer Dreams, what it lacks in space it more than makes up for with an abundance of charm. When I drink my coffee in the morning, this is my view…

This wall of windows is maybe 20 feet from the edge of the water.





These pictures were taken from the loft bedroom upstairs and it gives you an idea of the proximity to the water. And yep, there was no way Pam was going to bed last night without setting the table!

So, this is our home for the next four weeks and we couldn’t possibly be more grateful.

A Vacation Miracle

Wednesday, the 12th of July, was the very first real Maine day of our vacation. By this I mean it was the first day that felt like Maine is supposed to feel. The weather was transcendent, bright blue sky, a steady refreshing southerly breeze in our faces all day, with not a hint of humidity. Consequently I made the decision to play golf in the morning.

Although the conditions were perfect and I was paired with a delightful couple from Marietta, Georgia, I played terribly—like a blind man with epilepsy. I had one birdie and four pars and a host of other scores so horrifying that I didn’t even bother keeping my score. But what made this the worst golfing experience I’ve had in years was not the level of my play, but what happened to me just after I shook hands with Wayne and Kathy as we walked off the 18th green. I reached in the left pocket of my shorts to retrieve my wedding band and found nothing. 

Ever since I got married nearly 40 years ago I have always removed my wedding band before a round of golf. The reason is because if I leave it on I end up with a blister. Yes, yes…I know its because I grip the club too tightly, but it is what it is. So, before I play I take the band off and place it in my left pocket—never the right, always the left. Sometimes I perform this ritual in the parking lot, mostly I do this on the first tee box, occasionally I remember as I’m walking down the first fairway. But…I always remove it. So, when I reached in the pocket and discovered it missing, something like panic and nausea visited me simultaneously. 

I had played with very nice rented clubs so the first thing I did was search every nook and cranny of the voluminous bag. Zilch. Then I walked back to the first tee box, since I was 70% certain that I had removed the ring before hitting my first tee shot (one that I hit out of bounds left, incidentally). The very kind starter along with the threesome on the first tee—all men—dropped everything to scour the area. They all gave me knowing looks of solidarity, knowing that if I didn’t find that ring I was sure and truly a dead man walking. One of them even mumbled, “losing your wedding band is one thing…losing it while playing golf is a f**king disaster” After an exhaustive search we found nothing. As I trudged back to the clubhouse the futility of my situation began to dawn on me. There was a very real possibility that I did, in fact, place that ring in my pocket on the first tee box, which means it could have slipped out of said pocket anytime I reached in there to remove my cellphone throughout the round…probably three times that I could recall. Since the entire round I walked 5.6 miles up hill and dale, there was literally no possible chance anyone was ever going to find that ring. I explained my nightmare to the woman at the clubhouse cash register who looked at me as if looking at a man condemned to die. I gave her my name and cellphone number on the no chance in hell possibility that somebody found it. She wrote it down carefully and posted it on the bulletin board with feigned optimism, then briefly touched my arm as I turned to leave. “You never know, dear.” That’s Yankee speak for…bless your heart.

I was not ready for the genuine grief I experienced while driving back to camp. I wasn’t really worried that Pam would kill me. I simply felt so much anguish over the fact that I had lost my wedding ring. I am not a jewelry guy. In fact, that wedding band is my only ring, my only any kind of adornment. But a wedding ring isn’t just a piece of jewelry, its part of who you are. It tells the world that you are married and that there is someone else out there who you would kill for. And now, mine was laying somewhere on the grounds of Rockland Golf Club, most likely in deep rough!

I got back to the cabin and tidied up a bit then joined Pam on the dock. No. I did not immediately tell her. I gambled that she wouldn’t notice, perhaps for days. That would give me time to craft an acceptable narrative. I merely gave her a kiss and sat down in the Adirondack chair next to her soaking up the perfect Maine day.

Then my cellphone rang. 

I didn’t answer. In the two weeks I’ve been here I have received no fewer than 20 random calls from unknown numbers from people trying to sell me this thing or that. If it was important they would leave a message. This one did…

“Mr. Dunnevant? This is Beverly at Rockland Golf. Just wanted you to know that someone found your wedding ring. I’ve put it here at the front desk. You can pick it up anytime you want. Congratulations!”

I turned to Pam with a sudden burst of confidence in my communicative abilities. “You are never going to believe what happened to me today at golf!!” She listened respectfully without expression then when I was done said, “Good thing you found it. No way you were going to get rid of me that easily!”

Week One. A Summary

We begin week two with indifferent weather. Clouds have dominated so far, although we’ve had a few gloriously sunny days mixed in. You take what comes on the lake, the good and the bad, while never having to worry about the ugly because there is none. The highlights of Week One are as follows…

Yesterday I fished this spot to within an inch of its life. Everything I threw at it, they devoured. Must have caught a dozen or more 1-2 pound bass in just 45 minutes. Since the water levels here are quite high I had to stand on the ledge of the dam, feet submerged in very cold water. Small price to pay. Pam would have had a heart attack watching me shuffle along the edge back and forth being careful not to slip and fall, busting my assets. But there’s just something about this spot. Its at the far south end of the lake, just over a mile from the cabin, with no sign of civilization anywhere, just the roar of the rushing water. 

I’ve plowed through three books already, thanks to the clouds. Two John Le Carre spy novels, and a third spy-themed WWII home front novel by Mary Anna Evans. Now I’ve started a third, an Eric Larson spellbinder about the Chicago World’s Fair of 1893 called The Devil in the White City. Fabulous.

Then there’s the girls in my life. These two…

Safe to say they are both living their best lives right now. Lucy’s days are a blur of fishing with dad, sniffing the treasure trove of smells wafting off the lake, and swimming for literally hours along side Mom on her paddle board. She has no complaints about Summer Dreams, has designated six different locations around the house as her official sleeping spots, like she owns the place.

Then there’s this beauty…

She will probably kill me for posting this photograph. Up here she does nothing with her hair, just washes it and lets it dry on its own. She hates it, I absolutely love it, mostly because I think she looks amazing but partly because it takes off 45 minutes from her prep time getting ready in the morning! Once again Pam is the queen of the lake. She has established herself as a paddle boarding fixture along with her morning kayak trips. She has organized the kitchen like a boss, prepared killer meals and spent hours and hours cross-stitching her heart out…

Last night we closed out the week by going to church…kinda. We sat down on the sofa and watched Hope’s live stream on YouTube. We saw Isaac playing his guitar on stage, then listened to Pete deliver the message from The Beatitudes. Looked like they had a packed house.

I have no earthly idea what the plan is for today and neither does Pam who at the moment is sound asleep as any self-respecting vacationer should be at this hour. Once she’s up something will come to us. Maybe brunch at The Hoot and a trip into Belfast?

Art, Books and Strawberries

So, yesterday was an adventure day since there were two local Festivals afoot, one in Lincolnville and the other in Camden. We left the cabin around 9:30. To get to Camden you first have to drive through Lincolnville, which was hosting their annual Strawberry Fest. I had to stop for gas and the only gas station available was at Drakes Corner Store which offered regular for $3.59 without any identifying brand name for the gasoline you bought. I simply had to take their word for it as I tried to figure out their circa 1960’s pump handle. Drakes is a mile or so outside of town and served as the rendezvous point for the Strawberry Fest Parade. The parking lot was filled with fire trucks, streamer-festooned pickup trucks and one flatbed containing a gigantic plastic lobster. Since the proceedings weren’t scheduled to begin until 10:00, we made the fateful decision to head in to Camden for the Arts and Books Festival and catch the Strawberry deal on the way back. Unfortunately, when we did, the excited lady at the Community house informed us that for the first time in Strawberry Fest history, they had been wiped out by noon! Every strawberry, every upside down cake, every muffin, biscuit, loaf of bread, every cake, pie and scone—all gone, a complete sellout. even the strawberry ice-cream sandwiches had been devoured by the great unwashed who had descended on this sleepy town like a plague of locusts. The only evidence that there even HAD been a strawberry festival was the giant red flags draping from the town hall windows…

In retrospect however, this shocking turn of events was the only thing that saved me from bankruptcy because of what transpired roughly between the hours of 10 o’clock and noon in Camden.

After a lovely breakfast at the Camden Deli, Pam and I attended the annual Arts and Books Fair. This Fair is no stranger to us, both of us having fallen for its considerable charms many times before. Basically, all the streets and grounds around the Camden library are filled with white tents featuring artists and craftsmen from all over Maine selling their wares…

The misty conditions did nothing to dampen the crowds. Pam’s eyes had that certain dangerous sparkle they get when she is surrounded by art. Its funny since she has never been a museum girl, but you put her at an art fair where she can listen to the actual artist explain how they created their work and what their inspiration was, and she goes into something very much like a trance. Unfortunately, this trance-like state involves a great deal of credit card usage. When she found this one particular booth I thought she was going to wipe them out! “Oh, I love this! And look at that!! I just have to have that!!

By the time she was done, she nearly had. Pam and the artist have a lunch date for next Thursday!

But she wasn’t done. I’m guessing that in total there were close to 100 booths at this Fair and my wife toured them all. When she finally was satisfied with her haul on Day 1 (this is a two day event—gulp), I was carrying around a bag of stuff heavy enough to give me shoulder cramps. I got a text from Capital One warning me of excessive use of my card, and wanted confirmation that it was indeed us. I relied with…Pam at Arts and Books Fair in Camden. They responded with a knowing…Never Mind. 

On the positive side, Pam did get an early start on 2023 Christmas shopping.

What We do When it’s Hot

So far I’ve told you, faithful reader, what we do here when it rains.  Today I will inform you about what we do when its hot in Maine, or HIM for short. First of all a definition of what exactly qualifies as hot. Yesterday’s high temperature in Searsmont was 89. While depending on where you live and humidity levels this might not seem particularly severe as hot goes. There have been many summers in Short Pump where any day not in the 90’s would seem pleasant by comparison. Not here. In Maine high 80’s qualifies as brutal heat for one simple reason—the absence of air conditioning. Take last night for example.

By the time dinner time rolled around Pam had already fled the premises to Belfast for an iced coffee and AC time at Reny’s. Heat is my wife’s mortal enemy, the bane of her existence. It is the only force in the universe capable of turning her to the dark side. She got out of the shower yesterday afternoon and immediately found herself covered in sweat. I knew she wasn’t long for the cabin. Her two hours reading and drinking iced coffee lounging in the soft seating inside Dunkin worked wonders for her psyche. She returned to the lake her delightfully reliable self. 

At this point I knew that there was no way she was going to cook anything that required her to turn on the stove. I wisely volunteered to head over to Fraternity General to pick up one of their fabulous pizzas. Since it was near six o’clock I know from experience that you need to call first, then allow thirty minutes before making the 3 mile drive to pick it up. I called again and again for ten minutes and the line was busy every time. Throwing caution to the wind, I drove there without ordering first. Upon arrival I noticed a sign on the door:  Due to extreme heat, the kitchen is closed to anything that requires an oven. Cold sandwiches available.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking…Oh, thats adorable! Poor Mainers can’t even handle a couple of warm days!! Nothing could be further from the truth. Fraternity General is a 100+ year old colonial structure built without air conditioning. The kitchen sits in a windowless, low ceiling section of the first floor. It is roughly 10x12 and has two pizza ovens and one regular oven. The girls take your order at the counter. When I walked in the place last night it was 85 or so outside with a lovely breeze that had come up. But inside that store it had to be 100. The two cooks had bright red faces covered in sweat. I noticed on the glass covered turn table a piping hot pepperoni pizza that looked of relatively recent origin. “Can I have five pieces of this one?” I asked. I walked out with the last pizza of the day, feeling like the great white hunter.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Pam had lowered the blinds across the front of the house to shade the interior of the cabin from the bright reflection of the setting sun now blinding us from the surface of the lake. But now the wind had picked up nicely and she had turned on every ceiling fan available and had the floor fan on the maximum speed. It sounded like the tarmac at LaGuardia but it was cooler. The hardest part of a HIM day are the hours between 5 and 9.

The rest of our HIM day was spent on the water. I fished, kayaked, and floated around on the float. Pam spent lots of time escorting Lucy around the lake on her paddle board. I swam…a lot. It was delightful. Today, the weather people are unanimous in their opinion that another scorcha is in the works. High temperature of 87 with a 40% chance of thunder storms late in the day. After that it looks like we will be in the 70’s for the next four days.