Quirkiness

There is a certain quirkiness to Maine. You see it everywhere in ways great and small. It’s understated, Mainers don’t make a big fuss over their quirkiness, they don’t try to market it like the folks in places like Key West do. No, here it’s subtle. If you’re not paying attention, you’ll miss it. For example, its taken us almost three weeks to catch all of the quirks on the 1.2 mile dirt road that leads to our cabin, hilariously named Tri-State Boulevard...

Someone went to the trouble of putting each of these wonderful distractions along the side of a dirt road in the middle of the very deep dark Maine woods. Then, there’s this...

This is the western most point of an uninhabited island on Crawford Pond. There are rocks hidden behind the grass. Somebody took the time to haul two old rusting metal chairs out there, wedge them into the rocks so they would sit level, just in case someone kayaking by in the evening would have a place to sit still if they wanted to watch the sunset...I guess. Or maybe they just thought they looked cool. Either way, it’s enchanting.

Each time we make the turn off of the hard surfaced road onto, er...Tri-State Boulevard...we keep a sharp eye peeled for the latest addition to the show. I’m wondering if there is another dirt road anywhere on Earth who’s official state sanctioned name includes the word, boulevard. 

Probably not.

Fine Dining and Fast Thinking

People often ask me what my favorite restaurant is in Maine. It’s a tough question. For breakfast, it’s the Camden Deli. For dinner, The Waterfront is nice. Mariners has really good clam strips, Peter Ott’s gingerbread dessert is the stuff of which legends are made. But, if I was being honest about it, I would have to admit that my favorite place to eat is...

That’s right, Hazel’s. This is the best roadside stand in the Midcoast region. Red’s Eats gets all the publicity, but Hazel’s is the real deal. Just look at that menu! Eleven different burgers, including the “Cowboy Cheeseburger” which if you order it, all the cooks inside immediately yell out YEE HAW!!! Six different hot dogs, a wide variety of seafood, all fresh and cheap. There’s even a vegetarian selection! But, what sets this place apart is there sausage offerings. I’ve had the chili cheese sausage and it was truly a religious experience—both during and after. But, the Sausage Reuben is a masterpiece...

Even my son in law agrees.

Of course, Pam always gets the lobster roll and it is always ridiculously generous...

However, our visit there yesterday was problematic, not because the food wasn’t fantastic, but rather because of a COVID related inconvenience.

We had spent a couple of hours visiting the Owl’s Head lighthouse and State Park which was gorgeous...

So, by the time we pulled into Hazel’s parking lot, I was in dire need of a bathroom break. After ordering our food, I excused myself to their famously immaculate facilities only to discover that they were temporarily unavailable, for which management “sincerely apologized.” Hmmm...quite a pickle I had found myself in. There was no way I was going to pass up a Sausage Reuben. I was going to have to man up. I went back to our table with a forced smile on my face. After our fabulous meal was over, we had to take Jon into Camden—five miles away—to pick up a prescription at Walgreens. Since public bathrooms are a rare commodity in Camden, I had to come up with a plan...fast.

ME: Ok Johnny-Boy, here’s the deal. When we get close to the Walgreens, I’m gonna let you out. Run fast out of the oncoming traffic, pick up your prescription and meet us at The Deli. 

JON: Drop and roll...got it!

PAM: But honey, Camden Deli’s bathroom is for customers only!

ME: That’s correct. Which is why you’re going to buy two Whoopie-Pies to-go while I’m in the can!

I used the facilities, Jon ran all the way from Walgreens to catch up with us, and we walked out of their with these babies...

Which, ladies and gentlemen, is why they pay me the big money!

Unexplainable

I have tried many times in this space to explain unexplainable things, my complicated political views, the romance of baseball, the allure of grace. But, how do I explain this?

At Loon Landing, sunsets were served to us on our deck. We would often eat dinner while the sun dipped behind the fir trees across the lake. Here, at Loon Call Cottage, we have to go search for the sunset. There’s an island blocking our view, so each night we all head out from our dock around 8 o’clock, Pam leading the way on her paddle board, the rest of us tagging along behind on our kayaks and canoes. We paddle around the corner of the towering trees, skidding past the lily pads, watching the rocks drift by underneath us. Last night, the water was like glass. We left a bit later than usual, worried that we would miss it, but our late departure resulted in an eagle sighting, yet another serendipitous gift. Once the corner of the island is passed the entire lake opens up and we fall silent. All around there is silence, even the loons hush. We drift along in the middle of the lake, its waters growing darker and silkier by the minute. 

Kaitlin drifts out ahead of us. Her silhouette brings out my cell phone. I take a picture knowing it will be inadequate.

Pam paddles in a different direction, as often she does, seeing something the rest of us don’t. 

I’ve seen better sunsets, lots of them. There is nothing especially noteworthy about this one. It was just the four of us on the water. The later hour meant there were no other boats out. The wind was down. We drifted along in silence trying to find a way to express what was in our hearts. In these silky black waters there is no COVID. There is no politics. There is no racism. It’s just us, at peace.

We hear the bark of a dog, then the call of a loon. The sound races across the water’s surface disguising its origin. Pam is a hundred feet away from me. She speaks in a hushed voice yet I can hear every word. It’s getting dark. We better head back.

This is how our days end here, weather permitting. For me its a new experience, but Pam has been doing it for years. I’ve never understood why, before. “We can see all the beauty from our deck” I would say. But, she would take her paddle board out anyway disappearing across the lake, always coming back in the dark. After going with her these past few nights I finally understand. But, understanding and being able to explain are two different things. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe something so solemn doesn’t need explaining. It just is.

An Update on Lucy

Some of you may be wondering, Is there a downside to taking a month long vacation in Maine? The answer is Yes.

Loon Call Cottage has a strict NO PETS policy, so we had to leave Lucy at home this year. It’s a ton of hassle bringing her to Maine, a lot of logistical difficulties involved once she’s here, etc...but, I really miss her. She loves living at a lake as much if not more than we do. Our pet-sitter, Bernadette, sent us this proof of life photograph the other day...

Now I miss her even more! Although, from the looks of it, she’s no worse for the wear. Miss Lucy has been attending softball games and going on all manner of adventures, not to mention being spoiled rotten by Bernadette. Still, last year at Loon Landing, she had the time of her life...

Enough with the guilt...it’s time to go fishing!

The Halfway Point

Yesterday we reached the halfway point of our vacation in Maine, but who’s counting? The weather has been much improved of late. Yesterday was supposed to be a washout, but instead the sun broke through around two o’clock, giving us a delightful sun-splashed afternoon on the lake. We took full advantage...

So, I just finished chatting with my friend in Buena Vista. She was telling me about how a recent setback she had had concerning her business life had been resolved. This particular issue really had thrown her for a loop back when it happened, causing her to go into a funk for several days. I tried to walk her through it back when it happened, but nothing I said helped very much. Well, it has all worked out incredibly well...the best possible scenario for her. So she’s telling me all about it this morning, talking about how God had answered her prayers, etc, etc.. How did I respond to this great news?

Me: See? All that bellyaching you did was for nothing!

This is why I would make the world’s worse Minister, or even worse...the world’s worst Psychiatrist! Luckily for me, my friend has known me for nearly 40 years, and understands what I was really trying to say. That’s the thing with friends, they have the power to look past your rough edges.

Ok, the last photograph was from last night’s sunset. Kaitlin and Jon took the canoe out, while I was in a kayak and Pam was on her paddle board. We paddled out around the island in front of our cove which blocks our view around 8 o’clock last night. Once you get around the corner of the island the lake opens up, providing a panoramic view from east to west of over a mile of open water. There’s something magical and enchanting about floating in fifty feet of clean lake water, hundreds of yards from land, watching the sun set as it lights up the clouds in pastels of pink, orange and lavender. By the time we made it back to the dock it was nearly dark. The only thing left to do at that point was go to the cabin and eat whoopie-pies. 

So, we did.

Kaitlin and Jon Arrive

This morning I’m writing my blog from the dock, waiting for these two to return from their morning kayak jaunt.

Kaitlin and Jon got here yesterday afternoon and immediately made themselves at home, Kaitlin by jumping in her swim float and and lazing around on the lake in pursuit of her record setting eighth consecutive LVV award, (least valuable vacationer). My son in law has made his presence felt by assembling a campfire. In doing so he looked down his nose at my fire making skills, dismissing my use of artificial fire starting materials, and in that classic millennial way, assured me that all-natural was the way to go. Of course when he got around to actually trying to light the thing he looked like Cro Magnon Man down on his knees hyperventilating. Finally he turned to me, his old-school father in law, and mumbled “maybe we should use one of those first starter things.”  In five minutes the fire was roaring, I felt cocky vindication, and the world was once again spinning correctly on its axis. Of course, the boy hadn't been here ten minutes before he erected this...

...which speaks volumes about his intentions for the next 10 days.

Lest anyone get the wrong idea, my son in law is a great kid. He is a great husband to Kaitlin, a hard working provider, and one day will make a wonderful father to my grand kids. But, I do love my role as smart-mouthed father in law, so the fire thing was just perfect!! Besides, all the women in my family, every single one of them on both sides adore Jon, fawn over him, cater to his every need. So, it’s my job to provide the appropriate counter balance, a job that I do with great flare and skill.

The girls are still out somewhere on the lake. I have to go into town at some point to pick up my new phone, which means I must bring myself to leave the lake, not as easy as it sounds. 

Wait...there has been a sighting!

Game Changer

Pam and I have been here almost two weeks, just the two of us. Today, our oldest child and her husband arrive. We pick them up in Bangor this afternoon. They will be with us for a week. Kaitlin and Jon have been up at Acadia for the past few days staying at a fancy Airbnb. Now they will have to come here and stay with us at a not so fancy cabin, the biggest benefit of which is the fact that Mom and Dad will feed them. To that end, Pam made her second big grocery run yesterday at the Hannaford in Camden. We are stocked with all the essentials:

Coffee

Sausage

Bacon

Beer

Swiss Rolls

Four bags of chips

Fruits and vegetables

All manner of meat

Toilet paper

After a very cool storm passed through last night, this morning there’s bright sunshine, with the next two days calling for “much warmer temperatures with increasing humidity.” For Union, Maine this means...upper 70’s. Perhaps by Sunday we may reach 81 degrees!!

UPDATE: A brand new iPhone is being delivered this morning via Verizon, due to the fact that I had purchased insurance on the water damaged one. I had to pay the $200 deductible, but that’s a lot cheaper than a brand new phone. Insurance can be a beautiful thing.

Reading my fourth novel of the trip, a great read from a Maine writer named Julia Spencer-Fleming...One Was a Soldier. 

NOTE: I have absolutely no idea what is going on in the world at this point. I have kept up with the stock market, an occupational hazard, but other than that, nothing. I can only assume that 2020 is still a dumpster fire, the country is still busy ridding itself of objectionable statues, Democrats are still Democrating, Trump is still Trumping. Maybe by the time we get back to Short Pump, the sports world would have purged all offensive team names, the ones that objectify an entire race or group of people unfairly. The Redskins, The Indians...The Vikings, The Celtics, The Fighting Irish. There’s still a lot of work to do! Meanwhile, I’m up here getting introduced to a new delicacy on the menu at Hazel’s...The Sausage Reuben. That’s right boys and girls...a fat piece of sausage on a sub roll, slathered in Thousand Island dressing, melted Swiss cheese and the most delicious sauerkraut I have ever put in my mouth. It’s a game changer, folks.