Weather Bad...Company Good

So far, its been quite cold at the beach. Now, it’s raining and cold. According to the local weather people, today will be the worst day of the week. Tomorrow, my birthday, promises to be sunny and 68. We’ll see.

Got the business part of this trip done yesterday, visited with two clients who live down in the Murrell’s Inlet/Pawley’s Island area. Now  I can officially shut down the business corner of my brain, a delightful feeling.

When my daughter was with us, she presented me with a two birthday presents. The first was a book that I have been putting off reading for 25 years or so...

Back in the day, I got on a Larry McMurtry kick, along with practically everyone else, and quickly read three of his novels...Texasville, The Last Picture Show, and Terms of Endearment. But for some reason, I never got around to reading his epic...Lonesome Dove. That grave oversight will be remedied this week. 

Unfortunately, I cannot at this time reveal the identity of the second present I received. That’s because, it is of a private nature, and to speak of it prematurely will ruin its ultimate effectiveness. That’s right...they gave me yet another highly prized, juvenile, practical joke, gag gift, which will have it’s debut in a few months at the Dunnevant family beach week. Wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise. However, I can promise that when the time comes, full video will be made public. Trust me, boys and girls...this one is going to produce record breaking screams of horror from the Dunnevant women, hopefully to the point of raging hysteria. Bennett and Ezra will be in awe of Uncle Doug’s endless practical joke capabilities, both will redouble their efforts to become just like me...their parents will be thrilled.

You, no doubt, have noticed the fact that we seem to have the entire beach to ourselves. You would be correct. It’s almost as if people have the view that 55 degrees and high winds are not conducive to beach living. This is yet more evidence of how soft we have become. 

So, today looks to be a cozy indoor day where we lay about reading, snacking, and talking. When I begin to get restless, Pam will come up with a chore for me to perform which will require me to drive somewhere...anything to get me out of the house. Tonight, if it’s not pouring down rain up in DC, I’m going to watch Bryce Harper, in a Phillies uniform, come up to bat against Max Scherzer. Although I wish Bryce no ill will, I would love nothing better than for Max’s first delivery to whistle two inches from the man’s chin, depositing him on his backside. Fifty years ago, it would have been a sure thing. Now, ball players are so much nicer.

Lucy Being Lucy

Last night, after a day of packing and planning for our trip to the beach, Pam sat on the sofa after dinner and soon had Miss Lucy at her side, head resting on her feet. She turns to me and says, How am I supposed to get anything done with this puppy on my feet? How indeed? 

A few minutes later, I headed upstairs to read a bit in my recliner. It should be pointed out that this particular recliner, being over ten years old now, has developed its own individualized squeak which it makes whenever deployed. It’s not particularly loud and the room is upstairs and all, but Miss Lucy hears everything...even recliners two houses over. So, like the sun rising in the east, Lucy jumped off the sofa and trotted upstairs, then down the hall and finally onto my lap...

She isn’t very pleased that the two of us are leaving her for a week. She knows. Although, she dearly loves our dog-whisperer, house sitter, Becca, she also knows we are headed to a No Pets Allowed condo and is none too happy about it. Dogs just know things.

As most of you know, Lucy is the third Golden of our almost 35 years of marriage, and easily the most difficult. At times, we think she is A. mentally disturbed, B. learning disabled. She eats like a bird, clearly sees things we cannot see, is terrified by practically everything. But, just like the other two Golden’s we have had...she possesses an incorruptible soul. Although she no doubt privately questions our judgement on a whole host of issues...How can you sit there and assure me that the thunder and lightening are not going to kill me?? Just listen to it!!!!...she never judges us, and always puts her disagreements with us behind her at the first opportunity. I’m sure she constantly worries that we seem blithely unconcerned with the deadly ceiling fans overhead, she forgives us our naïveté, chocking it up to that old dog adage...Hummans...what are you gonna do?

So, we will miss her while we are gone, and she will sulk until Becca arrives. But, when we return in a week, all will be forgotten. You never have to teach a dog to forgive. It just comes natural.

#LIFEGOALS

First quarter, 2019 ends today. For me its been great. I hit every marker I had laid down for myself...

- Exceeded my income goal

- Planned and executed 39 client reviews

- Lost 11 pounds

- Purchased and implemented pricey new client data system without losing me mind

- Finished my novel

- Completed fifth consecutive No-Vomit quarter 

- Noticed no significant new deterioration of mental acuity 

- Severely curtailed consumption of Drudge Report and other news aggregators

- Made it through entire quarter without getting fired from Hope Mentor Program

- Experienced advancement of Wednesday night cooking skills

- Only forced into two groveling apologies for losing temper with incompetent bureaucrats 

- Finally shamed readers into clicking enough ads to make The Temptest mildly profitable

Flush from these successes, I have come up with a new list of priorities for quarter number two...

- Survive Dunnevant family yard sale

- Do not gain back 11 pounds

- Attend no funerals

- Make the trip up to catch a Nationals game

- Give away all proceeds from newly profitable Tempest

- Make measurable progress in getting Saving Jack published

- Set all time adult mark with sixth consecutive No-Vomit quarter

- Attempt at least a 20%, 15%,....10% reduction in snarky comments

Well, there you have it, my Life Goals, for the second quarter of 2019. Who says I’m not capable of deep self reflection??

Once More, Unto the Breach

Every time I publish a blog about baseball, I am always disappointed how few of you bother to read. It’s like you’re all saying, Oh no...Another baseball blog! Doesn’t he realize how 1950’s baseball is? Why doesn’t he get on board with football, soccer or UFC?? Each time I see the abysmal readership numbers I sigh and sulk for a couple of days. But then I remind myself that this is my blog, and I can write about anything I want, and if my readership doesn’t have the same passion for baseball that I do..well, thats their problem. I will not be cowed into jumping on the NBA bandwagon, or the train wreck that is international soccer. So...for the 16 of you out there who are interested...here is my eagerly awaited(?) baseball predictions blog!!

American League East....Boston Redsox

Although the evil empire has an impressive lineup and the full throated endorsement of ESPN, they still don’t have the starting pitching of the Red Sox, or Mookie Betts.

American League Central....Cleveland Indians

Despite the timid, defeatist support of Sam Issacs, The Indians possess the best starting pitching in baseball, and have the advantage of playing in the worst division in the Major Leagues.

American League West...Houston Astros

The Astros still have the best lineup and the best pitching in the division, and despite Mike Trout and his $450 gazillion dollar contract, last time I checked...he can’t pitch.

Wild Card....New York Yankees, Seattle Mariners

                                                                                                          ###

National League East....Washington Nationals

The Nats will rebound from their disappointing 2018 campaign by winning this division because of their fantastic starting pitching. Even though they struggled to score runs with Bryce Harper last year, having Soto for a full year and the emergence of Robles along with the addition of two terrific catchers, it’s their division to win.

National League Central....Chicago Cubs

Yes, their starting pitchers are good but old, they have the best game manager in the game and I suspect Kris Bryant will have a bounce back year. If, suddenly Jason Heyward can finally play up to his talent, and Kyle Schwarber puts together a decent year, they might even be great.

National League West....Los Angeles Dodgers

The return of Corey Seager and the trading away of Yasiel Puig (classic addition by subtraction), should be all the Dodgers need to repeat in this very good and competitive division

Wild Card....Arizona Diamondbacks, Colorado Rockies

American League MVP...Mike Trout

American League Cy Young....Chris Sale

National League MVP....Nolan Arenado

National League Cy Young....Stephen Strasburg 

Putting The Country In Time Out

Man-o-man...yesterday was crazy. Around mid-afternoon, American social media...and every other kind of media...became engulfed in a firestorm frenzy over the Jussie Smollett sweetheart deal with Chicago prosecutor stand-in, Joseph Magats, the hand picked replacement of Kim Fox, who had recused herself from the case. Not only did the Prosecutor’s office go against the grand jury’s findings in the case, they pulled off a sealing of the records, making the inside scoop impossible to discover. Even famed Obama fixer and current mayor of Chicago, Rahm Emanuel appeared blindsided by the deal. Emanuel, ordinarily someone who would celebrate a fellow liberal beating the rap, was positively angry in his hastily assembled press conference on the subject, although I refuse to believe the man capable of any real, honest emotion. Instead, I consider his presser performance evidence that he is, in fact, the superior actor to Mr. Smollett.

Most everyone I know on the right of the political baracades were positively apoplectic at the injustice of it all. You know, that feeling you get when you are absolutely convinced of someone’s overwhelming guilt and then the devastation which comes when that person 
gets suddenly exonerated. Hmmm...now maybe people on my side have a glimpse of what the other side felt like when the Mueller report came down.

On the other hand, people who dearly wanted to believe Mr. Smollett’s bizarre tale of  victimization, now have been given the fig leaf of permission to gloat which this deal has bestowed upon them. Now, perhaps they understand the gleeful delight felt by Trump supporters when after two years of hearing liberals predicting that the President would end up in prison for treason. Maybe now they have a sense of what having your core faiths vindicated feels like.

But, in order for either side to be able to understand what the other is feeling would require a willingness to do so. After yesterday, that willingness seems further away, less attainable than ever. The only thing that the events of yesterday afternoon have done is level the playing field of resentment. Now, literally everyone in the country is pissed off.

My offered solution goes back to my days as a parent of toddlers. When all heck was breaking out between the two of them, I would place them both in time out. Is it possible to place our entire country in time out? Just for a couple of days...

Mission Statements...sigh

For the past several months I have been involved in a mentor program through my church. I meet every other week with these two terrific guys who were assigned to me. It has been a great experience. In this effort, I have received invaluable assistance from the guy who is sort of in charge of the program. He is a volunteer, a successful businessman with an inspiring personal story, and he sends us a couple of emails every week to encourage us along in our efforts.

Well, a few days ago he sent us an email suggesting that we do something with our mentees which has suddenly become all the rage in the business world and elsewhere...crafting a personal mission statement. He laid out all the benefits of the thing, how it allegedly clarifies the mind, making it easier to make decisions about all manner of things, etc. etc. When I read the email, I let out an audible groan and executed a world class eyeroll at the exact same moment. Of course, me being me, I couldn’t just let it go...I just had to respond. I fired off an email of my own, communicating my distaste for the whole concept of a personal mission statement, as follows:

Ok, I will need some help with this one. I have always resisted this type of thing. I associate this sort of navel gazing with corporate types who are always trying to reinvent the wheel with the latest psycho-babble group think exercise. “Let’s write our corporate mission statement” sounds like practically the most self-obsessed, boring waste of time ever. On a personal, individual level...it seems a little pretentious. I mean, isn’t everyone’s “mission statement” pretty much the same?...Worship God, Use Things, Love People?  What am I missing here?

Many years ago, I got introduced to the world of “corporate buzzwords” by several speakers at conferences I was forced to attend. For a while the catch phrase d’jour was...The New Paradigm. A bit later it was...The Value Proposition. Before long, business English became this tortured tongue filled with airy phrases disconnected from reality, so awkwardly put together that nobody knew what the hell anyone else was talking about. This self inflicted Tower of Babble was soon followed by the latest craze...the mission statement. We were all assured that it was vital that every organization have one, that it be catchy, pithy and concise, and that its construction be done around conference tables after day long bull sessions with corporate psychologists and other hucksters who were making bank on this new corporate obsession. Then churches started doing it. And now, apparently, it has trickled down to the individual disciple level.

My biggest objection to this business is the fact that it seems self-obsessed. Don’t most Americans already spend way too much time thinking about nothing but themselves? This is just what the American church needs...every disciple with a slogan! When I think of what my PMS should be, I’m thinking that there is absolutely no way I could ever improve on Micah 6:8...

What does the Lord require of you? To act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.

Yeah, I’m thinking that just about covers it.

But, here’s the thing. This guy who heads up this program? I really like him and more importantly, I trust him. Just because I have a personal problem with mission statements doesn’t mean that they are bad for everyone. Maybe my guys would benefit from this. I don't want to let my prejudices get in the way of something that might be very beneficial to my guys. So...I’m getting on board.

Wish me luck!

A Friend’s Pain, and Trump vs. Mueller

One of my best friends is in Ohio today, burying his sister. Several weeks ago she was given a cancer diagnosis. She made it a little over a month. My friend has two brothers and this one sister. His dad has already passed away, but his mother, in her 90’s, has lived long enough to bury a child. When I try to imagine what he is going through, I can’t. Thinking of one of my siblings passing away isn’t even something I can conjure up in my head. It would be like someone cutting off your arm, especially since I’m the youngest of four. They have literally been there for me for all of my life. So, all I can do is remember to say a prayer for him and his family at noon today.

Over the weekend, Robert Mueller released his long-awaited report to the Attorney General, who then released a summary of its findings to members of Congress. In that summary, the bottom lines seem to be as follows:

# The investigation did not establish that members of the Trump campaign conspired or coordinated with the Russian government in its electrion interference activities.

# Mueller’s report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.

# AG Barr and Deputy AG Rosenstein concluded that the evidence is not sufficient to establish that the President committed an obstruction of justice offense, noting that the government would have to prove a case beyond a reasonable doubt.

The Mueller investigation has been going on for almost two full years now. Long ago, it fell off my radar screen. I have lost track of the various players and indictments. Various commentators on television and the print media have largely followed partisan scripts when reporting on the interminable probe. Pro-Trumpers have downplayed every fresh indictment, and consistently called the entire investigation a fishing expedition and witch hunt being run by Democratic Party lawyers. Anti-Trumpers have talked a lot about the presence of smoke proving that there was an enormous fire in there somewhere, and any day now the President and his family were going to be frog-marched out of the White House in handcuffs. 

So, what’s my take?

My take is that the release of this report will change exactly no one’s mind about Donald Trump. Pro-Trumpers will be triumphant, crowing about vindication and how delicious it is to own the libs. Now, it will be the Trump-haters’ turn to attack Robert Mueller’s integrity. The new Democratic majority in the House will use their investigative powers to continue their own investigations into what they are convinced is Trump’s Manchurian candidacy. In other words...this will never end. 

One of the problems with the disappearance of the concept of absolute truth is that we as a society are no longer able to appeal to any outside authority. For Republicans the independent council wasn’t “independent” at all, but merely a tool of the Democratic Party to undermine Donald Trump’s election victory over the chosen one, Hillary Clinton. For Democrats, Attorney General Barr isn’t the top lawyer in the country who leads the Justice Department, he’s merely a tool of a corrupt President. So, everyone agrees to appeal to authority only when that authority validates their desired conclusion.

So...we plod on with politics. There will be another Presidential election in 2020. I can hardly wait.

This Saturday, Pam and I will leave for a week in Myrtle Beach. That week away will coincide with my 61st birthday, as well as the beginning of the baseball season, all of which means I will be able to frolic on the beach and stroll happily down a few fairways during the day, and sprawl out on the sofa and watch Major League Baseball at night. It will be a beautiful thing.