A Fabulous Day

This afternoon Pam will drive Kaitlin and Jon to the airport in Bangor. On Thursday we will do the same for Patrick and Sarah. The following morning, we will pack up and leave this place after a wonderful month. All good things, they say, must come to an end. But yesterday, we rocked it!

The day started with an excursion to the Rockland Breakwater Lighthouse, one of our favorite spots and one that Patrick and Sarah had never visited.

It’s a mile long rock wall that took 18 years to build back in the late 1800’s at a cost of a mere $750,000. It contains nearly 800,000 tons of granite. The walk ends at the stately old lighthouse.

Sarah took a great selfie!!

Then we headed into Camden for a birthday lunch at Waterfront’s.

Then it was back to the lake so these two bums could do what they do best...

After an amazing dinner prepared by the kids, it was time for the flotilla to form for another sunset cruise.

Of course, there had to be a birthday cake for the birthday girl...a whoopie pie.

And, what fabulous day in Maine would be complete without a rock painting marathon??

Maybe the best day of our entire month.

...And now I get a text that the power is out at home because a tree fell over the lines at the corner of Pump and Three Chopt. Our dog sitter can’t get the garage door open to go to work and the power won’t be back on until after lunch. Apparently we are the only people holding Short Pump together. We leave town and the whole place goes straight to hell.

The Lady of the Lake’s Birthday

Today is Pam’s birthday. It’s no coincidence that we are in Maine on this day. This place is the magic elixir that keeps her looking and feeling so young, the anti venom to the aging process brought on by 40 years of living with me. She is the Lady of the Lake up here, and everybody knows it, especially the unfortunate jet skiers from a couple weeks ago who made the mistake of trying to run over a couple of loons. Pam didn’t hesitate to track down the closest grown up in charge of these two morons and let them know in no uncertain terms about our shared responsibility to protect the wildlife at this beautiful lake, and that their jet ski behavior was totally unacceptable. She got a mumbled apology from the miscreants and that was that from those two! It was a beautiful moment and just one of the many reasons why I love this woman. 

As a tribute to her on this her...29th birthday...I have compiled my favorite pictures of her taken over the years in Maine. Because of the slow internet up here, this post might take a while to download, so by the time you read this, she might be 30.

We head out this morning to the Rockland Breakwater lighthouse, then to the Deli for lunch, back to the lake for some dock time and paddle boarding, then back to town for dinner and ice cream. At least that was the plan last night. She will have a wonderful birthday. I will see to it.

The Mystery of Crawford Pond

The fog is lifting, the lake is calm. The only sound you hear at six in the morning is the chirping of birds. Soon, I will head out to fish around the exterior of Russell Island, which we have renamed Grandad Island, in honor of my esteemed father in law. There are several patches of grass that have yielded some impressive bass this month.

On one trip I stumbled across a curious thing. At the northern tip of the island, there are two metal chairs that have been placed on the edge of the water, I suppose for sunset viewing, but it’s something of a mystery since the island is uninhabited. Upon closer inspection of these chairs, I discovered what looked like a wooden walkway, much like the walkway of a dock, only it was laying flat across the rocks at the edge of the water...

It’s old and weathered with the names of 13 people carved into the planks. This is the sort of thing that could inspire the imagination of a certain writer. What is the story here? Who are these people? Who were they? Are they dead now? Why are their names carved into this 15 foot long plank, and why is it laying at the edge of the water of an uninhabited island on an obscure lake in Maine? I parked the kayak for a closer look. I ran my fingers over the letters trying to picture their faces. 

But this curiosity isn’t unique on Crawford Pond. On the big island called, unimaginatively, 100 Acre Island, on the eastern side there is a huge rock that protrudes out into the water, large enough to park the kayak and explore. The rock juts out of the water about ten feet high and sixty feet wide. But what intrigued me the most were the three bronze plaques  that had been embedded in the front surface of the giant rock, each declaring the deaths of people who had some emotional connection to the lake, one a teenager, judging by the birth and death dates. The plaques stated the name, birth and death dates and one sentence to summarize the life lived. Lover of the Lake, Founder of Lake Association and champion of its care...

These discoveries have done nothing to discourage my conviction that every lake we have ever stayed on here is shrouded in mystery. First of all, these lakes are ancient, created by receding glaciers. Secondly, they freeze over every winter, solid and impenetrable for months. For a southerner like me, this is unfathomable and makes me wonder what the place is up to all winter. Whenever there is  a “cold snap” in Short Pump during our winter with the high temperature in the 20’s for a week or so, I glance at my weather app and notice that Searsmont, Maine can look forward to a week of single digit highs and subzero lows, making me wonder what Quantabacook looks like, and what on Earth is going on in its frozen depths. The imagination stirs, crowding out the mundane cares of the real world. Who are the 13 people carved into the weather-beaten planks? How did such a large and heavy thing find its way onto an uninhabited island? 

Inquiring minds want to know.

Quirkiness

There is a certain quirkiness to Maine. You see it everywhere in ways great and small. It’s understated, Mainers don’t make a big fuss over their quirkiness, they don’t try to market it like the folks in places like Key West do. No, here it’s subtle. If you’re not paying attention, you’ll miss it. For example, its taken us almost three weeks to catch all of the quirks on the 1.2 mile dirt road that leads to our cabin, hilariously named Tri-State Boulevard...

Someone went to the trouble of putting each of these wonderful distractions along the side of a dirt road in the middle of the very deep dark Maine woods. Then, there’s this...

This is the western most point of an uninhabited island on Crawford Pond. There are rocks hidden behind the grass. Somebody took the time to haul two old rusting metal chairs out there, wedge them into the rocks so they would sit level, just in case someone kayaking by in the evening would have a place to sit still if they wanted to watch the sunset...I guess. Or maybe they just thought they looked cool. Either way, it’s enchanting.

Each time we make the turn off of the hard surfaced road onto, er...Tri-State Boulevard...we keep a sharp eye peeled for the latest addition to the show. I’m wondering if there is another dirt road anywhere on Earth who’s official state sanctioned name includes the word, boulevard. 

Probably not.

Fine Dining and Fast Thinking

People often ask me what my favorite restaurant is in Maine. It’s a tough question. For breakfast, it’s the Camden Deli. For dinner, The Waterfront is nice. Mariners has really good clam strips, Peter Ott’s gingerbread dessert is the stuff of which legends are made. But, if I was being honest about it, I would have to admit that my favorite place to eat is...

That’s right, Hazel’s. This is the best roadside stand in the Midcoast region. Red’s Eats gets all the publicity, but Hazel’s is the real deal. Just look at that menu! Eleven different burgers, including the “Cowboy Cheeseburger” which if you order it, all the cooks inside immediately yell out YEE HAW!!! Six different hot dogs, a wide variety of seafood, all fresh and cheap. There’s even a vegetarian selection! But, what sets this place apart is there sausage offerings. I’ve had the chili cheese sausage and it was truly a religious experience—both during and after. But, the Sausage Reuben is a masterpiece...

Even my son in law agrees.

Of course, Pam always gets the lobster roll and it is always ridiculously generous...

However, our visit there yesterday was problematic, not because the food wasn’t fantastic, but rather because of a COVID related inconvenience.

We had spent a couple of hours visiting the Owl’s Head lighthouse and State Park which was gorgeous...

So, by the time we pulled into Hazel’s parking lot, I was in dire need of a bathroom break. After ordering our food, I excused myself to their famously immaculate facilities only to discover that they were temporarily unavailable, for which management “sincerely apologized.” Hmmm...quite a pickle I had found myself in. There was no way I was going to pass up a Sausage Reuben. I was going to have to man up. I went back to our table with a forced smile on my face. After our fabulous meal was over, we had to take Jon into Camden—five miles away—to pick up a prescription at Walgreens. Since public bathrooms are a rare commodity in Camden, I had to come up with a plan...fast.

ME: Ok Johnny-Boy, here’s the deal. When we get close to the Walgreens, I’m gonna let you out. Run fast out of the oncoming traffic, pick up your prescription and meet us at The Deli. 

JON: Drop and roll...got it!

PAM: But honey, Camden Deli’s bathroom is for customers only!

ME: That’s correct. Which is why you’re going to buy two Whoopie-Pies to-go while I’m in the can!

I used the facilities, Jon ran all the way from Walgreens to catch up with us, and we walked out of their with these babies...

Which, ladies and gentlemen, is why they pay me the big money!

Unexplainable

I have tried many times in this space to explain unexplainable things, my complicated political views, the romance of baseball, the allure of grace. But, how do I explain this?

At Loon Landing, sunsets were served to us on our deck. We would often eat dinner while the sun dipped behind the fir trees across the lake. Here, at Loon Call Cottage, we have to go search for the sunset. There’s an island blocking our view, so each night we all head out from our dock around 8 o’clock, Pam leading the way on her paddle board, the rest of us tagging along behind on our kayaks and canoes. We paddle around the corner of the towering trees, skidding past the lily pads, watching the rocks drift by underneath us. Last night, the water was like glass. We left a bit later than usual, worried that we would miss it, but our late departure resulted in an eagle sighting, yet another serendipitous gift. Once the corner of the island is passed the entire lake opens up and we fall silent. All around there is silence, even the loons hush. We drift along in the middle of the lake, its waters growing darker and silkier by the minute. 

Kaitlin drifts out ahead of us. Her silhouette brings out my cell phone. I take a picture knowing it will be inadequate.

Pam paddles in a different direction, as often she does, seeing something the rest of us don’t. 

I’ve seen better sunsets, lots of them. There is nothing especially noteworthy about this one. It was just the four of us on the water. The later hour meant there were no other boats out. The wind was down. We drifted along in silence trying to find a way to express what was in our hearts. In these silky black waters there is no COVID. There is no politics. There is no racism. It’s just us, at peace.

We hear the bark of a dog, then the call of a loon. The sound races across the water’s surface disguising its origin. Pam is a hundred feet away from me. She speaks in a hushed voice yet I can hear every word. It’s getting dark. We better head back.

This is how our days end here, weather permitting. For me its a new experience, but Pam has been doing it for years. I’ve never understood why, before. “We can see all the beauty from our deck” I would say. But, she would take her paddle board out anyway disappearing across the lake, always coming back in the dark. After going with her these past few nights I finally understand. But, understanding and being able to explain are two different things. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe something so solemn doesn’t need explaining. It just is.

An Update on Lucy

Some of you may be wondering, Is there a downside to taking a month long vacation in Maine? The answer is Yes.

Loon Call Cottage has a strict NO PETS policy, so we had to leave Lucy at home this year. It’s a ton of hassle bringing her to Maine, a lot of logistical difficulties involved once she’s here, etc...but, I really miss her. She loves living at a lake as much if not more than we do. Our pet-sitter, Bernadette, sent us this proof of life photograph the other day...

Now I miss her even more! Although, from the looks of it, she’s no worse for the wear. Miss Lucy has been attending softball games and going on all manner of adventures, not to mention being spoiled rotten by Bernadette. Still, last year at Loon Landing, she had the time of her life...

Enough with the guilt...it’s time to go fishing!

The Halfway Point

Yesterday we reached the halfway point of our vacation in Maine, but who’s counting? The weather has been much improved of late. Yesterday was supposed to be a washout, but instead the sun broke through around two o’clock, giving us a delightful sun-splashed afternoon on the lake. We took full advantage...

So, I just finished chatting with my friend in Buena Vista. She was telling me about how a recent setback she had had concerning her business life had been resolved. This particular issue really had thrown her for a loop back when it happened, causing her to go into a funk for several days. I tried to walk her through it back when it happened, but nothing I said helped very much. Well, it has all worked out incredibly well...the best possible scenario for her. So she’s telling me all about it this morning, talking about how God had answered her prayers, etc, etc.. How did I respond to this great news?

Me: See? All that bellyaching you did was for nothing!

This is why I would make the world’s worse Minister, or even worse...the world’s worst Psychiatrist! Luckily for me, my friend has known me for nearly 40 years, and understands what I was really trying to say. That’s the thing with friends, they have the power to look past your rough edges.

Ok, the last photograph was from last night’s sunset. Kaitlin and Jon took the canoe out, while I was in a kayak and Pam was on her paddle board. We paddled out around the island in front of our cove which blocks our view around 8 o’clock last night. Once you get around the corner of the island the lake opens up, providing a panoramic view from east to west of over a mile of open water. There’s something magical and enchanting about floating in fifty feet of clean lake water, hundreds of yards from land, watching the sun set as it lights up the clouds in pastels of pink, orange and lavender. By the time we made it back to the dock it was nearly dark. The only thing left to do at that point was go to the cabin and eat whoopie-pies. 

So, we did.

Kaitlin and Jon Arrive

This morning I’m writing my blog from the dock, waiting for these two to return from their morning kayak jaunt.

Kaitlin and Jon got here yesterday afternoon and immediately made themselves at home, Kaitlin by jumping in her swim float and and lazing around on the lake in pursuit of her record setting eighth consecutive LVV award, (least valuable vacationer). My son in law has made his presence felt by assembling a campfire. In doing so he looked down his nose at my fire making skills, dismissing my use of artificial fire starting materials, and in that classic millennial way, assured me that all-natural was the way to go. Of course when he got around to actually trying to light the thing he looked like Cro Magnon Man down on his knees hyperventilating. Finally he turned to me, his old-school father in law, and mumbled “maybe we should use one of those first starter things.”  In five minutes the fire was roaring, I felt cocky vindication, and the world was once again spinning correctly on its axis. Of course, the boy hadn't been here ten minutes before he erected this...

...which speaks volumes about his intentions for the next 10 days.

Lest anyone get the wrong idea, my son in law is a great kid. He is a great husband to Kaitlin, a hard working provider, and one day will make a wonderful father to my grand kids. But, I do love my role as smart-mouthed father in law, so the fire thing was just perfect!! Besides, all the women in my family, every single one of them on both sides adore Jon, fawn over him, cater to his every need. So, it’s my job to provide the appropriate counter balance, a job that I do with great flare and skill.

The girls are still out somewhere on the lake. I have to go into town at some point to pick up my new phone, which means I must bring myself to leave the lake, not as easy as it sounds. 

Wait...there has been a sighting!

Game Changer

Pam and I have been here almost two weeks, just the two of us. Today, our oldest child and her husband arrive. We pick them up in Bangor this afternoon. They will be with us for a week. Kaitlin and Jon have been up at Acadia for the past few days staying at a fancy Airbnb. Now they will have to come here and stay with us at a not so fancy cabin, the biggest benefit of which is the fact that Mom and Dad will feed them. To that end, Pam made her second big grocery run yesterday at the Hannaford in Camden. We are stocked with all the essentials:

Coffee

Sausage

Bacon

Beer

Swiss Rolls

Four bags of chips

Fruits and vegetables

All manner of meat

Toilet paper

After a very cool storm passed through last night, this morning there’s bright sunshine, with the next two days calling for “much warmer temperatures with increasing humidity.” For Union, Maine this means...upper 70’s. Perhaps by Sunday we may reach 81 degrees!!

UPDATE: A brand new iPhone is being delivered this morning via Verizon, due to the fact that I had purchased insurance on the water damaged one. I had to pay the $200 deductible, but that’s a lot cheaper than a brand new phone. Insurance can be a beautiful thing.

Reading my fourth novel of the trip, a great read from a Maine writer named Julia Spencer-Fleming...One Was a Soldier. 

NOTE: I have absolutely no idea what is going on in the world at this point. I have kept up with the stock market, an occupational hazard, but other than that, nothing. I can only assume that 2020 is still a dumpster fire, the country is still busy ridding itself of objectionable statues, Democrats are still Democrating, Trump is still Trumping. Maybe by the time we get back to Short Pump, the sports world would have purged all offensive team names, the ones that objectify an entire race or group of people unfairly. The Redskins, The Indians...The Vikings, The Celtics, The Fighting Irish. There’s still a lot of work to do! Meanwhile, I’m up here getting introduced to a new delicacy on the menu at Hazel’s...The Sausage Reuben. That’s right boys and girls...a fat piece of sausage on a sub roll, slathered in Thousand Island dressing, melted Swiss cheese and the most delicious sauerkraut I have ever put in my mouth. It’s a game changer, folks. 

A Good Idea Gone Bad

This photograph could be characterized in many ways. Some would use words like peaceful or relaxing to describe this scene. But, if I were asked to name this particular photograph I would use different words. The Calm Before The Storm. A Good Idea Gone Bad. Minutes Before Mayhem....come to mind.

So, yesterday was a very mixed day for me. On the positive side of the ledger was another glorious sunny day on a lake in Maine, where no matter what happens, it’s always a good day. When bad things happen in Maine it’s all extremely relative. Generally speaking, the folks back home don’t want to hear you complaining about how hard it is to find a car wash—while you’re lazing around for a month on a lake! “How about you wash the car yourself, you lazy bum?” Nevertheless, just because we’re in Maine for a month does not mean that bad things can’t happen...which brings me back to the idyllic photograph above. It all started when my wife ( See: Genesis 3:12 ) had an inspiration while we were sitting on the end of our dock enjoying the sunshine:

Pam: Wouldn’t it be fun if we took our beach chairs out to the swimming float? That way we would have a better view of the lake and the way it floats around in circles, it would be like being on a ride at the Fair!!

Me: (in my head. NOT spoken aloud) Or, like being on that plate inside a microwave. (Spoken aloud) Sure. Sounds fun. Let’s just float out there with our chairs.

Pam: No, I was thinking of kayaking out.

Me: Ok

She went first. She got into her kayak. I handed her the chair, her paddle, her beach towel, and her bag of stuff...since my wife goes nowhere without her bag of stuff. I followed closely behind carrying my chair, my beach towel, with no bag of stuff. I mean...why?

Anyway, I watched with muffled laughter as Pam struggled mightily trying to hoist her beach chair onto the swim float (Pro Tip: Irony alert!). In the process of her clumsy efforts, her beach towel got soaking wet, but she eventually got the chair on the float and her kayak tied off with my gallant help. Speaking of gallantry, I offered her my dry towel for her use as I wrung out her wet one. She looked at me with those adoring eyes and sighed, “My hero!!”

I must admit that while we were out there it was kinda nice. Pam was right. We had a nicer view, and the 360 degree rotation of the swim float was fun. So far, her inspiration had proven to be a great success. But, after packing up Pam in her kayak for her return trip to the dock, I began surveying my options for leaving the swim float and like Abe Lincoln right before the play was about to start, I thought, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” There was nobody to hand me the chair, and the wind had picked up. So I fit the chair in the kayak all cock-eyed and catawampus. Then I thought, I’m going to have a hard time fitting my legs in what’s left of that little opening, maybe I should get it first then reach for the chair? But, as is my custom when presented with any dilemma, I chose the brute force option...”No problem, I’ll make it work!”

I didn’t.

As soon as my bottom hit the seat, it became clear that there was too much weight on the starboard side of the kayak. Then, things started to go in slow motion. As my vessel began its rightward tilt I grabbed for the swim float in vain. The next thing I know I’m flailing around in ten feet of water with a capsized kayak and a folding beach chair drifting away into the depths. I grabbed for the chair, retrieved it, then it promptly opened, serving as a giant sail behind me as I struggled to reach the kayak before it too drifted off. All of this time, Pam is oblivious to my plight, unloading her chair onto the dock, triumphant in the knowledge that she had come up with such a fun idea!

As I was pushing the upside down kayak forward with one hand, and dragging an open beach chair through the water behind me with the other, dog paddling like a madman, it occurred to me that my cell phone was in the pocket of my swim trunks.

Finally, after the longest 90 foot swim of my life, I managed to reach the dock, throw the beach chair onto the deck and struggle up the steps, totally exhausted. I was able to save the kayak and the chair, and myself from a far worse fate. Pam did check to see if I was alright first...but then asked, “Honey, where’s the towel? That was my all time favorite towel!”  

“I would imagine it’s at the bottom of the lake,” I gasped, gulping for air, as Pam quickly got back in her kayak to begin her ultimately unsuccessful towel search and rescue operation. “Don’t worry,” I yelled. “We’ll send Patrick or Jon down to look for it when they get here!!” Pam yelled back, “But, I LOVED that towel!!”

The lesson here guys, if you’re wondering, is never be all gallant and offer your wife your ratty old black and white striped towel you bought at the Dollar General to use while you dry out her favorite towel in the Universe. If not for that stupid mistake it would have been my ratty towel that sunk to the bottom of Crawford Pond. Problem solved!!

Here Comes The Sun

Finally. The Chamber of Commerce just whipped us up a day...

I have nothing to add to these pictures except to say that this is why we come up here for a month. 

Heading out this morning to play golf.