Vote Already...Geez!!

There was a Presidential debate last night, I’m told. I’ll assume that the reputations of Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas are still intact. For those of you who watched it, especially those with the fortitude to make it through to the end, I salute you. If I were President, I would send each of you a $500 gift card.

There is a storm raging outside, no...not the metaphorical kind, but a real one with howling wind and sideways rain. It’s loud and mysterious and utterly fascinating to watch. There’s a high wind advisory out warning of possible 50 mph gusts. My coffee is hot, my eyes and ears wide open. It’s hard to write serious political commentary when surrounded by the splendor and fury of God’s creation. But if you guys had the stones to sit through a presidential debate, I suppose the least I could do is offer a serious opinion.

So, I didn’t watch the thing. First of all, I’m in Maine. There  may be a law against reckless endangerment of the soul up here. If not, there should be. But, I did a deep dive into the content of what was screamed by each candidate. Then I read some of the reactions of friends and strangers on Facebook. I then glanced through the reactions of various commentators, some of whom I admire, some I detest. Nothing I have read came as a surprise. In fact, anyone who expected a different debate from the one we got hasn’t been paying attention. This is who they are. This is who we have become.

I hope, for the sake of the country, that neither of these candidates agree to another debate. I think we’ve all seen enough. I don’t believe anyone’s mind was changed last night. The only purpose the debate served was to illustrate just how far we have fallen, just how removed from basic decency we have drifted. To all of you people around the world who may have tuned in, let me just say that eventually we will recover our dignity. We will overcome this insanity. Don’t write us off. Every country has episodes of disorder and chaos. We’ve survived far worse than this.

Vote already...geez!

That’ll Do

This morning my eyes opened just a bit before 6 o’clock. I laid in bed and listened. Although there wasn’t any wind and the water wasn’t stirring, I knew I was at the lake. Quantabacook makes a sound. It’s hard to describe. You have to be listening for it but its there, soft and distant. Part of it is the pulse of so much life in the deep woods that surround it and under the depths of the clear cold water. But the other part is the fact that all the competing sounds of civilization have been filtered out. When there are no muffled roars of air conditioning or car engines, even the buzz of electricity, you can hear everything else...finally.

It’s still cloudy. Some might say dreary. But as I write this sitting just inside the sliding door that leads out onto the deck, this is my view...

If it looks like I’m seven steps from the water, that’s because...I’m seven steps from the water. They won’t let you build cabins this close anymore. Thank God for the 1950’s. 

Pam woke up soon after me this morning. She is on vacation and there is nothing that my wife enjoys more than sleeping in. But not here. She never sleeps in unless its pouring down rain. I knew what she was up to the minute she appeared at my side. It was time for her morning kayak run.

She’ll be gone for an hour or so, gliding along, reacquainting herself with each camp, having conversations with all the loons that will follow her around the lake. Breakfast will have to wait. 

We have the next three days to ourselves. Weather doesn’t look great, but the forecast is for sunny skies and cooler temps starting Thursday which is the day when our friends arrive for a visit. They’ve never been to Maine before. Sharing this place with friends is for us like the anticipation of Christmas morning when we were kids! We never tire of showing friends our favorite places. We never tire of seeing the expressions on their faces when they see the lake for the first time.

So, three weeks of this will have to do me until next summer. Hopefully when we return in 2021 it will be to our own place where we will begin a new lifetime of memories.

When Pam returned from her kayak adventure I asked her what it was like. She showed me this picture she took just around the cove from our dock...

Yes. That’ll do.

Decisions

This weekend was not a typical Maine escape. In some ways it doesn’t even feel like I’m in Maine yet. First of all, we’re staying in what the kids are fond of calling a tiny house. When I say “tiny” I mean that its so small I can’t brush my teeth in the tiny bathroom unless the door is open! I have to lower my head to walk out onto the deck, the sliding glass door apparently not made for anyone over 5’8”. No, this weekend has been full of the sorts of things I usually come to Maine to escape...decisions.

It occurs to me that my life has passed through several phases. Yours has too if you think about it. To everything there is a season, is how the old prophets described it. For me, the first phase lasted until I graduated from college. I was a kid, largely dependent upon my parents for guidance, food and shelter. Then I became an adult, a free man, responsible for his own care and feeding. I had to find a job, find a place to live, buy car insurance, learn how to live on a budget. Thankfully, those dreadful years of being a lonely free agent ended when I married the beautiful, and beguiling Pamela Jean White. I was still an adult, doing all those scary adult things, but now I had this amazing women doing it along with me. That lasted for three years, then kids arrived, which launched the two of us into the longest phase of life...parenthood. This phase was spectacularly expensive and exhausting in every possible way, but it was—and remains—the greatest thing we have ever done. However, eventually our living breathing tax deductions transitioned into adults themselves, leaving us empty-nesters...our current life phase. Now, we find ourselves on the cusp of the next stage of life...retirement, or something approximating retirement. In my line of work, it’s complicated.

To that end, we have spent the past two days and nights searching for what we have been dreaming of for the past decade, the perfect lake house in Maine. Our plan has always been to buy a place when we were ready, once we could A. Afford it and B. Have the time to enjoy it. Once we buy the place, life will change for us. Our intention is to live here from the first of June through the end of September every year. That is a significant life change, one which we are very excited to begin. But it comes with more questions than answers. We have found a place that seems almost too good to be true, but is located an hour and forty minutes away from the part of the State of Maine which has our heart, Mid Coast, Camden/Rockland. This place is in the DownEast area of the state, 55 minutes from Bar Harbor/Acadia, 25 minutes from the town of Ellsworth—which is no Camden. 

We know Camden like the back of our hand. We know the best places to eat, we know the sites to see and the best places to shop. Ellsworth might as well be Mars. So the question is, do we wait to find a place in our favorite stomping grounds where the lakes aren’t as plentiful and the houses are more expensive, or do we start this next phase of life in a completely new place, almost two additional hours away from Short Pump?

So, my mind is racing. Whenever big decisions loom on the horizon, I find myself retreating into humor, sometimes dark humor. It has been this way all of my life. Perhaps it’s my way of dealing with pressure and uncertainty, my subconscious strategy for self preservation. Whatever the reason, these cartoons have been quite helpful of late...

Made It

We made it in record time, a breezy, easy 13.5 hours...

We pulled up into the little cottage that will be our home for the weekend while we go cabin-hunting...

Pretty adorable place. Unfortunately, it has the smallest bathroom in the entire history of Western civilization. The lake is a tiny pond by Maine standards, and too murky for our taste, but we won’t be spending much time here as we will be out on adventures all day.

Last night, we drove into Camden and had fish and chips at Sea Dogs. This sign greeted us just inside the front door...

Sooo Maine!! 

Travel Day Jokes

Heading out to Maine this morning. I feel the need to leave my readers with something profound, thoughts that will encourage and inspire during these challenging times. Instead, all I’ve got is this:

Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars, and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.

And they didn’t even planet...

Why are most Protestants dog people?

Because they don’t like...cat licks.

I’m writing a new book about the proper way to fall down a staircase.

It’s a step by step guide.

Blue Lights

Last night, Pam and I met our small group over at the new Hope Thrift store in Belgrade for the last time before we head out to Maine. Love those people so much. So, this week we continued this video series we’ve been going through on the subject of Race Relations and the Gospel. In it, two pastors, one black and one white, discuss their different experiences on the matter and try to find common ground centered around what our faith teaches. This week the topic was the very different perspectives whites and blacks often have with regards to the police. A lively discussion was had about this contentious topic, in the midst of which we offered our various experiences of when we have been pulled over by the cops. Jokes were made about how some of us have had much more experience with this than others! How much of what we have all seen in cell phone videos of encounters with the police could have been avoided with following the police officers instructions, hands where he can see them, “yes sir, no sir”, that sort of thing. There was disagreement in our group. That’s ok. We all agreed that when someone winds up dead, shot in the back, this is never an acceptable outcome.

And so...since this is 2020, on my way home, this happened:

As I alluded to earlier, I have had more than my fair share of encounters with the thin blue line in my life. But, its been a while. Let’s just say that I am not the most meticulous rule follower who ever lived when I happen to be behind the wheel. There I was, fully engaged in an in depth conversation about race and the police with my wife who, when she wants to be, is a fascinating conversationalist. Just as I exited the Willey Bridge, I saw the sudden flash of those sinister blue lights from the darkness of the median. In that instant I glanced down at my dash and saw the number 60. Busted!  Pam and I both could not help stifling a laugh. 

I pulled over and rolled down the window, placed my hands on the wheel at 10 and 2 and awaited my fate. It’s interesting that in all the times I have ever been pulled over I have never once wondered why? I have always known that I was guilty of something because...well...I’m me. Anyway, One of Henrico County’s finest walks up to the window, identifies himself and informs me that the reason he has pulled me over is because he clocked me doing 61 in a 45 mile per hour zone and he was going to have to issue me a citation. I handed him my drivers license and car registration. He was wearing a mask, which I thought was ironic. I had to fight the impulse to make a wisecrack like, “Whoa, I thought only bad guys wore masks!”, but the last thing you want to do when pulled over by the police is make jokes at their expense, so I thought better of it. The officer was professional, even courteous. He explained everything about the citation, etc.. and in no time we were on our way. Pam texted the group to fill them all in on the ironic ending to our night. Several cracks were made about my red Cadillac and obvious white privileged etc...hardy har har!

But, you know what? When those blue lights went on, just like every other time they have in my life, it never entered my mind that my life might be in danger. Never once. I have never been pulled over for the crime of driving around in the wrong neighborhood, or being in a car with a woman of another race. I have no experience with the emotions that must race through the minds of some African Americans when they see those blue lights. To the extent that any segment of our society fears that a routine encounter with law enforcement might possible cost them their lives is a tragedy. It’s unacceptable and we have got to figure out a way to stop it from happening.

The police officer on the Willey Bridge was the consummate professional and he was doing his job. I was speeding and he pulled me over because it’s his job to enforce the law. I treated him with respect because he wears a badge and I acknowledge his authority over me on the highway. But, if he had violated his authority in any way in his treatment of me it would have been a different story. I am a citizen endowed by the constitution with certain unalienable rights. Not only am I expected to obey the law, so is that officer. If either of us don’t there should be consequences. That’s not pro-police or anti-police. That’s pro rule of law.

So, I will be sure to pay my speeding ticket fine before January 27, 2021. No, I will NOT appear in court. No, I will NOT attend driver’s school. Puhleeze!!

Other Countries I Like

Lately, it has become fashionable to speak of American decline. It’s hard to scan any news publication these days without seeing some opinion piece about America’s impending crack up. Frankly, much of the talk is well deserved. By almost any measure, we are a hot mess at the moment. Sometimes, I try to imagine what I would think of America if I was from somewhere else, anywhere else. People around the world must look at us and think, what the hell? But, I’m not from somewhere else. For better or for worse, I’m an American. Despite all of the tumult and chaos that comes with my citizenship, I deeply love this place. Whenever I hear people talk about giving up their citizenship and moving to Canada or some such thing I think, what a moron. I mean, for goodness sake, Nancy...man up!! 

Anyway, this blog is not about being an American in 2020. Rather, its about the exact opposite. I feel the need to reassure the rest of the world that we are not, in fact...insane. We are just going through a phase, not unlike a rebellious toddler or a petulant teenager. Compared to most of the rest of the world, we are the equivalent of a teenager...in nation years. 244 years old is quite young for a nation-state these days. My message to the rest of the world is, be patient with us. Soon, we will get our driver’s license and be out of your hair!

No, this blog is about one American’s admiration for other countries out there in the world. I’m not as well travelled as I would like to be. I’ve visited probably a half dozen other countries during my life, a number I hope to at least double before I assume room temperature. But as a history lover and voracious reader, I consider myself more knowledgeable about the nations of the world than the average bear. As a result, I have developed opinions about other places. There are nations of the world which I am kindly disposed to for reasons of language, culture and history. And since everyone loves...lists...I have composed a list of the countries around the world that I admire the most, the places that I hold in the highest regard. These are the nations and the people among whom I would choose to live if I had to for some reason. I present them here in no particular order or rank, along with the reasons for my fondness:

1. Australia

A beautiful place. Stunning, in fact. I love the fact that it is...down under, literally down there at the bottom of the survivable world. I love their accents, the ruggedness and vastness of the land. I love how the entire place was started as a penal colony, a place for British crooks to go to live out their sentences. And now look at them! Amazing.

2. The British Isles

I use this formulation, despite how it would surely rile those who actually live there. Yes, I know that England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland are four different places with very different traditions etc...but for me they will always be connected. As an American, I feel indebted to this great island, for their rule of law, their language, hell...the Magna Carta for goodness sake. Not to mention Shakespeare! 

3. Canada

Although you couldn’t pay me enough money to actually, you know, live there, if there are nicer people anywhere in the world, I can’t imagine who they would be. The world could use a heavy dose of Canadian manners at the moment. These are easily the best neighbors any modern nation could ask for, educated, prosperous, and unlike their noisy southern neighbors, they never stick their noses in other people’s business! If it just wasn’t so stinking cold!!

4. Italy

Never been, one of greatest personal failings of my life so far. Their history is vast. They once controlled the world for 1500 consecutive years, people! Today, and for most of my lifetime their government has been a feckless mess, they of the 2897 prime ministers in the fifty years after WWII. But, good lord in heaven the food, the scenery, the romance. The fluidity and beauty of their language alone would be worth living there for at least a year! Architecture? History? Are you kidding me? What a country!

5. New Zealand

A country roughly the size of California with the population of Los Angeles...without the smog and celebrity nonsense that comes with the City of Angels. Ruggedly beautiful countryside combined with an educated and productive people, and plenty of room to stretch out. Sign me up!

6. Germany

I know, I know. It’s hard to warm up to Germanic tribes. The Kaiser, Adolph Hitler and the World Wars that flowed from Bismarck's spawn and all that. But still, Germany fascinates me. I’m fascinated by their tenacity, their efficiency and their remarkable ability to regenerate themselves from not one but two devastating humiliations in the past one hundred years, to now once again dominate the European continent. And, of course, there’s the matter of Ludwig Von Beethoven!

There are more on my list, but I’ve got to go to work.