The Purpose of the Internet

 I have come to the conclusion that the highest and most useful purpose of the internet is the curation and distribution of dad jokes. All other uses of the internet are a net negative and do nothing to promote human flourishing…

I saw an old man in the Publix parking lot collecting shopping carts.

He must have been pushing 70.

I recently got fired from the gym because I couldn’t bench press thirty pounds.

I had to put in my too weak notice.

My wife saw me buy two handguns from a T-Rex and said, “What the hell was that??”

I said, “He’s my small arms dealer.”

I paid $300 to rent a limo only to discover that it didn’t include the driver.

All that money and nothing to chauffeur it.

English Man: Are you two ladies from England?

Ladies: Wales!

English Man: Are you two whales from England?

Two windmills standing next to each other on a wind farm strike up a conversation. One of them asks the other, “So, what’s your favorite kind of music?”

The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”