Pam has been in Columbia taking care of Silas since September 30th. I was with her for the first five days, then I drove back to Short Pump. I’ve been taking care of Miss Lucy ever since and doing basic adult things like buying groceries, cooking meals, and cleaning house. I’ve discovered that I much prefer it when Pam serves as my designated adult. Actually the best part of being married for me has always been the fact that Pam has always been an excellent DA. First of all, she knows how to do stuff around the house. I only kinda know how to do these things. I almost called her the other night for a refresher course on how to run the dish-washer, but at the last minute I figured it out. Pretty soon I will have to ask her for a reminder of the correct procedure for doing the laundry. Wouldn’t want to run the risk of ruining a basket full of perfectly good clothes.
Ok, I know what some of you are thinking—“how can a man be 67 years old and not know how to run a washing machine?” I do not have a ready answer to this question. All I know is that for all of my life I have had reliable DA’s who did this sort of thing for me—my Mom, my sisters and now Pam. There has never been a compelling reason to learn these skills. But, having said this, I feel obligated to point out that Pam woudn’t know the first thing about the intricacies of lawn care, not to mention the fact that she would be lost if asked how to properly diversify a portfolio, let alone name the starting lineup of the 1969 New York Mets. We both have our strengths and weaknesses.
However, even though I am indeed an old dog, I have been able to learn a few new tricks. Pam has been slowly bringing me along in the kitchen to the point where I am able to turn this—-
…into this…
Lest you think that I am a one-trick pony in the kitchen, behold this…
So, I have a reasonable set of skills thanks to my wife’s patience and guidance.
Pam sends me Marco Polo videos of her and Silas engaged in adorable activities. I watch them over and over. Then when I head over to the Cafe I make everyone else watch them with me..yeah, I’m THAT grandparent.
The plan was for Pam to come home next week since Kaitlin will be on Fall break for the first three days of next week and then Jon was going to take the last two days off to take care of Silas. But, that was before the government shutdown furloughed him. Now, if the shutdown is resolved sometime over the next few days, he will not be able to take those days off. The best laid plans held hostage by leadership incompetence. Either way, I will head down the third week of October to give Pam some help. Turns out that taking care of babies is very much a young person’s game.
A parting sermon, if you will allow me.
Politicians love to do a lot of talking about being pro-life or how much they support the family. Ok…so why is it practically impossible for a young couple to afford to have children unless both of them work, and even then the cost of daycare is insanely expensive? I hear people say, “well, why doesn't one of the parents stay home and be a full-time parent? That way they wouldn’t have to pay for daycare.” Ok. That’s exactly what Pam and I did when Patrick was born. However, there were some big differences in our situation. I was in a profession where I had control over my income. Although nothing was guaranteed, I could make more money by working harder. Today, most jobs don’t come with limitless upside potential and even if they did, not everyone is suited for that type of risk-taking and lifestyle.
I know several young couples where both of them work and are doing quite well. But neither of them makes enough alone to allow the other to stay home for several years to raise a child. I don’t know how we got here but if we are serious about being “pro-family” we need to find a way to make it affordable for people who aren’t wealthy to have children. The only tool government has to help is the tax code. Government has no money of its own, it only serves as a distributor of everyone else’s tax dollars for the alledged common good. So why not expand the child tax credit to a meaningful enough level to make it a game changer? What’s more beneficial to human flourishing, tax policy that favors and encourages growing families or the pass through deductions and stock option deductions that allow profitable companies and people making over a million a year to avoid taxes? I’m not trying to suggest that those deductions have NO benefit. What I am saying is that governing is about making priority decisions. No government scheme can help everyone at the same time. Someone has to make a judgement on what is most important for the greatest number of its citizens. I submit to you that supporting young families trying to raise children in today’s world is as important as it gets. Start there.
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