You remember when we were kids and we would play The Telephone Game? Sure you do…its when someone whispers something in someone’s ear and then that person repeats it in the next person’s ear on down the line until the message gets to the last person and it is completely unrecognizable from what it was when it started. That’s what this kitchen renovation has been like. It’s been like a master class in horrendous communication, over-promising and under-delivering, and the worst display of reading comprehension skills I have witnessed since 5th grade. Most of the communication has been handled by Pam who has functioned as the de facto, unpaid general contractor of this project! Anyone who knows Pam knows of her precise emailing skills. When she sends you an email it usually has bullet points and very clear language. She does this because she has been married to me for 41 years and knows of my tendency to skim emails and my infamous inability to follow simple directions. But no matter how clear and precise her emails have been, nobody at this kitchen renovation company knows how to read. Things came to a head late last week and I informed Pam that I would enter the fray by calling the go-to guy and have a little discussion with him about our frustrations. You see…my wife is an angel and long suffering to a fault. Sometimes she has trouble—how shall I say this—being a badass. That’s where I usually come in. Many years ago I developed the reputation of being a bit of a hothead. I was known for my world class confrontation skills. Those skills served me well during my business career but if I’m being honest I often went a little overboard. My “confrontations” often became a bit overheated. Sometimes profanity and extreme sarcasm was involved. Occasionally recipients of these “confrontations” would end up in tears. Not my finest hour. But that was years ago. I have mellowed and matured. The profanity has largely disappeared and nobody cries anymore. Still, when the call came from the project manager while I was at the Cafe at my church, I took the call in the parking lot—just in case!
To make a long story short, I presented the laundry list of mistakes and miscues made during this renovation to the guy. My tone was serious but respectful. Then I asked a simple question—“how can you possibly be proud of the work you have done on our kitchen?”
There’s a great scene in Cool Hand Luke where the warden of the prison says…What we have here is a failure to communicate! I was reminded of that scene when the project manager says to me—“Actually, I am proud of the work we’ve done and I think we’ve done a pretty good job of communicating with you guys!” It was like the man was living in a parallel universe. It was like a Trump voter arguing with a socialist. We were just speaking a different language. I stood there in the parking lot of my church with a decision to make. I could let loose with a blast of invective that would send this kid (he’s the son of the owner) to a psychiatrist…or…I could breathe deeply, take a second to dial back my anger and proceed. “Well, my friend,” I replied. “You and I have a vastly different threshold for pride.” And no…he probably didn’t understand that either.
At the end of the day the kitchen is beautiful, despite our abysmal customer care experience. The cabinets are lovely, the granite counter top is gorgeous. But if anyone out there is considering updating their kitchen do yourself a favor and chose somebody—anybody—but Trinity Renovations!
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