Bachelor Life

My wife left Friday morning for a working visit down to Columbia, SC to paint and decorate Kaitlin’s baby nursery. After all, her due date is T-Minus 18 days and counting, so there’s not much time left. I went back and forth on whether or not I would go with her but ultimately decided that I would just be in the way. When I called Pam Friday evening around 9:30 and asked what they were doing she said, “We’re getting ready to watch a breast-feeding video.” That’s when I knew I made the right decision. Still, it’s been weird around here the last couple of days. Just Lucy and me wandering around the house looking for something to do. While I’ve found plenty to do, Lucy’s only consistent activity is following me around the house wondering where Mom is.

The hardest part about being left to my own domestic devices is eating. I mean, I still know how to eat, its just that since our kitchen is still dysfunctional on account of our never-ending renovation, I have to decide where to go out—by myself—for dinner. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. On the one hand, I have reasoned that I should take advantage of this opportunity by picking places that Pam wouldn’t want to go, then order something that she would eye-roll me over. Friday night I chose Glory Days. I ordered a plate of nachos. It was delicious. The last four or five holes of the PGA was on the big screen. Nice. But, on the other hand, it’s kind of pathetic sitting alone at a bar.

Saturday was filled with odd jobs and taking Lucy for a walk, where she was clearly frustrated that she still couldn’t locate Mom. I placated her with extra treats and giving her a thorough brushing. Once all my yard work was done I thought I would check in with Pam to see how the nursery painting was coming along. I found them both at Target buying decorating stuff. Still no painting being done. It’s a process, I guess.

Then last night rolls around and I need a plan for dinner again. This time I chose Twin Hickory Tavern and again sat at the bar, but this time with a lovely couple in town for their grandson’s baptism. He was my age and retired two years ago. They split their time between a home in Sweden and a home in Florida. I should have had him pick up the check! For dinner I ordered a plate of three steak sliders. Also delicious. Enjoyed a fine cigar on my deck when I got home—something I would never do if Pam were home. I can hear her now—“You stink!!”

This morning the big decision is, do I go to the 9:30 service at Hope or my usual 11:15? Either way I’ll probably pound two of those free cookies. I’m starving.

Despite all the terrible meal decisions I have made since Pam left I am somehow losing weight. So I’ve decided that tonight I will make hamburgers on the grill and I will consume two of them without apology. 

I am clearly not equipped by education, training or experience for the bachelor life.