Saturday Morning Rant

This morning I put on my curmudgeon hat, the one with the social critic feather sticking out of it. This might not be pretty. In my defense, I don’t feel that great, haven’t for several weeks now. That’s part of it, along with the natural post-Maine malaise that often greets me upon my return from the north. Here goes nothing…

People have gotten rude. Don’t misunderstand, there have always since the dawn of time been plenty of rude people, but these days rudeness seems to be everyone’s default setting. From road rage down to the disappearance of the most basic courtesies of daily life, boorish, self-absorbed behavior has become the norm. We seem to be drowning in a sea of people insisting on their rights, with no concern given to the responsibilities that have always gone with them. “I have first amendment rights to free speech!!” Yes, you do. But you also have a responsibility to exercise respect and discretion in the exercise of that right. In the often overlooked notes of Thomas Jefferson on this subject I believe he said, “But don’t be a prick about it.”

Of course, election years always bring out the worst in people when it comes to…well, just about everything. In 2024 partisans on both sides are convinced that our very survival as a species hangs in the balance. If you feel that way then rules of civility are the first thing to get thrown overboard I suppose. But when I hear some of the types of language being deployed in the service of politics these days all I hear is coarse and ugly words full of meanness and venom. 

Now, what I am about to say is for those of you who consider yourselves Christians. If you are not a Christian, you’re off the hook on this one! When I hear Christians constantly insisting on their “rights” it makes me nervous. Sure, we have fundamental rights like everyone else, but we have a higher obligation than  constitutionally guaranteed free speech, a concept that I should say is not found in scripture. Our “right” to free speech ends when the words we speak serve to drive people away from the Gospel of Christ. We are told that the number one identifying characteristic we should be known for is…love. The New Testament positively teems with admonitions to kindness and humility, exhortations to self control and patience and that almost forgotten word…forbearance. I see almost none of these traits on social media when the subject is politics. And love? Forget it…the stakes are too high.

No, they are not. If success on election day requires me to make enemies of those I disagree with, count me out.

But this rudeness thing isn’t just in politics. It’s everywhere now. All of us seem to be walking around just waiting to be offended, our sensitivities on a hair-trigger. Nobody knows how to take a joke anymore. Every disagreement gets conflated into an insult. The reason we have lost the ability to laugh at ourselves is because our self-regard is at all all-time high. In all of human history no people have been more enamored with themselves than 2024 Americans. We are all just so damned special. Well, I am here to let you all in on a little secret. I’m a pretty decent guy, I’ve done some cool things in my life, and I’ve had my share of success…however, beneath all of that lies a dude with a boatload of problems. The list of my foibles is a mile long. Every now and then I deserve to be humiliated, to tell the truth. When my mother was alive she could be counted on to disabuse me of any delusions of grandeur that I may have had. And as I’ve gotten older my sins have become easier for me to recognize. With age has come greater humility, still probably not enough. Once your own failings and mistakes become easier to see it makes it easier to cut other people some slack for theirs. The remedy for an over developed self-regard is…kindness. We all have to relearn kindness, that fundamental element of the ancient concept of manners.

I don’t get it right every day, far from it. But when I try to go out of my way to be kind to someone, everything begins to change. Before speaking I start to ask myself…Is what I’m about to say helpful? Is it absolutely necessary? Is it kind?” Maybe one day these filters will start working more consistently than they currently do, but I think they are pretty good filters, don’t you?