What Is Retirement?

I am in, for the lack of a more precise definition, the retirement business. I have spent the last 41 years helping people invest their money so that one day they could afford to retire. Since I am now in my middle 60’s, so are the majority of my clients. Therefore lots of them have retired. I have not, and the question of when and how this will happen is still very much undecided. But I have had a front row seat watching people retire and observing the results. It has been a fascinating experience, one that has caused me to ponder foundational questions like—What is retirement?

In the history of civilization retirement is a very new phenomenon. For centuries our ancestors knew nothing of the concept. People worked from the time they were children until they literally couldn’t get out of bed in the morning. Most people didn’t live long enough to reach the golden age of 65. Like leisure, which wasn’t even a word until 100 years ago, retirement only came around as a concept in the last 75 years or so. The dirty little actuarial secret about the creation of Social Security under FDR was the salient point that the life span of the average worker back then made the prospect of the government having to fork out a retirement check to a worker for 15-20 years nearly impossible. It never occurred to the designers of Social Security that the program could possible go broke because of the mind boggling advances in science and medicine that would greatly extend the average human life. The assumption was that workers would pay in to the system for a few decades then die before they ever collected a dime in retirement, while the survivor benefits paid to the spouse would last just a few short years. You will find no references to the concept of retirement in the histories of antiquity. There is nothing about it in the Bible. Yet, in the year 2023 it is on the lips of practically every business news channel commentator. Entire magazines are devoted to it, not to mention the fact that AARP is the single most powerful lobby group in the country. But this post is not about the business of retirement or a discussion of the actuarial facts upon which it is based. I want to discuss what actually happens to people when they retire. What are the emotional and psychological benefits and deficits involved? I have literally seen it all.

I have seen some people come alive in retirement. They flourish free from the constraints and pressures of work. They discover new passions and revisit old ones. Some travel, others devote time to their hobbies, still others become happily immersed in the lives of their grandchildren. Many of these “flourishers” become professional volunteers, spending their new free time at hospitals, food banks and churches. It sounds exhausting, but they seem to love their new lives.

But others have a different experience. Faced with loads of free time they become adrift. The first six months of their retirement is spent doing all the home projects they had put off for years, or they go on that trip they had always wanted to go on but didn’t have the time. But after that they wake up to the reality that there isn’t really a driving reason to wake up in the morning, no purpose or cause that requires their participation and talents, a form of depression sets in like a mild layer of fog on the lake every morning. The good news is that many of these folks eventually snap out of their funk. With the encouragement of others they realize that they need to develop a plan for their lives post-career. Some of them take jobs at hardware stores or grocery stores part time as a way to stay busy and meet new people. Others become part time consultants in their old industries for a few hours a week. Still others find new interests and pursue them with vigor.

But for others, retirement is a disorienting and debilitating experience. Stripped of their work, these folks find it difficult to find purpose. They no longer feel a part of anything important. For them what starts as a mild depression becomes more like despair. They become withdrawn from old friends and family. Inevitably—they get sick. Even people who had always been healthy and robust—get sick. At this point I should probably say that in my observations, it doesn’t seem to make much difference how comfortable or well off people are in their retirement when it comes to which outcome they experience. I’ve seen extremely wealthy people fall into despair and people on very tight budgets flourish and vice versa.

All of this analysis is what I have observed watching nearly 70 different people from every background imaginable enter their retirement years. It makes me ask myself this question—Which will I be? Will I be one who flourishes or the one who falls into despair? What about you? My answer is a guarded one. I do believe that everyone thinking about retirement needs to have a plan—not just the financial kind, but rather an emotional one. You should be able to answer this question…What is the thing that will energize me every day to get out of bed? What will your daily schedule be? What will be on your agenda each day of the week? What will be your to-do list goals? Yes…you will need a to-do list. Why? Because we were not created for sloth. Rest, like any other good thing, is only beneficial in moderation.

One more observation, if I may. This is purely a matter of opinion and preference but—don’t go to one of those “communities” that cater to only people of a certain age. Make sure you have a healthy relationship with people much younger than you. Your attitudes and disposition eventually reflect what is around you. You spend too much time around old people you will become much older much quicker. Find some young couples with children to love. Pour yourself and your talents into helping and supporting those exhausted parents around you in the midst of raising their kids in this crazy confusing world. After all—that was you not so long ago. Those kids need your love and advice, the wisdom of your experience. I can think of nothing more fulfilling than being in the encouragement business. Its hard to be that person if you’re walled off in a retirement community surrounded by a bunch of geezers.

It has been a humbling experience watching people retire. I like to think that I will flourish when its my turn. But I’ve seen enough people who were better than me struggle mightily. Knowing the right thing to do is not the same as doing the right thing. It takes courage and intentionality to craft a good life in retirement. It isn’t for the feint of heart.