The Very Bottom of the Dad Joke Barrel

For her birthday, I took my wife to an orchard and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour.

…not the Apple Watch she had in mind apparently.

I quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights were too heavy.

I just handed in my too weak notice…

Know why the Jedi don’t have a navy?

Because sailing is a path to the dockside…

What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?

“Look Grandpa, no hands!!”

What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

I had to call the IT guy at work because of a tech issue on my laptop. He says, “Have you tried disabling cookies?”

I said, “Well, there was that one time when I bit the legs off a gingerbread man…”