Saturday, January 11, 2020

Good Luck, Kids

Ordinarily, I would say that there isn’t anything in the universe that I care less about than the British Royal Family. I fully understand that this view places me in the minority in my country, not to mention my own family. Around here any royal wedding is must see TV. My sister is a lifelong Anglophile. I like England well enough but my view essentially has always been...You guys are fine, but your monarchy is silly and pretentious and...oh yeah...we kicked your ass 240 years ago to prove it.

But this week comes news that these kids have had enough and are actually trying to quit the royal family!


Apparently they are sick and tired of living in the bubble of British tabloid scrutiny. I guess they’ve had it up to here with ribbon cutting photo opps and the most overbearing and powerful mother in law in the history of civilization. No doubt, the Queen is royally pissed. My first reaction to this news was...Wow. Good for them! It takes some guts to give the finger to the House of Windsor. But, it was inevitable really. There was no way an American girl was going to put up that foolishness for long. The red-haired guy should have known that from the get go. I mean, just look at her...can you imagine her walking around a castle wearing white gloves and stupid hats all day?

First reports were of a planned move to Canada. Perfect. Then word came that Harry was looking for work now that their royal allowance was getting cut off. Another good idea. But then the news turned troubling. It was learned that they might be headed to Hollywood. No, no no no. You don’t exchange one out of touch, entitled fantasy world for another! Then even worse news...the ex-royal couple were being advised by that noted down to earth everywoman...Oprah. Frying pan? Meet fire.

It remains to be seen how this all plays out. I hope they are able to create a better life for themselves. I really do. But when Vegas posts odds on how long their marriage lasts post royal family, over or under five years....I’m taking the under.

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