Every five years or so the geeks over at the Pew Research Center come out with their survey of American political thought or, to use their preferred phraseology...typology. This is an expensive undertaking and their methodology is strong, as it involves extensive interviews with over 5,000 of us on a wide variety of subjects. According to their findings, Americans are now divided into nine distinct camps or factions as follows:
Democrats:
16%...Solid Liberals
12%...Opportunity Democrats
14%...Disaffected Democrats
9%.....Devout and Diverse
Republicans:
13%...Core Conservatives
6%.....Country First Conservatives
12%...Market Skeptic Republicans
11%...New Era Enterprisers
If you’re doing the math, you’ll notice that these percentages do not add up to 100%. That’s because the people at Pew had a hard time coming up with a snappy name for the remaining misfits and their widely diverse views. So, they added one catch all category:
8%...Bystanders
You’ll need to read their 152 page summation to learn what constitutes each of these categories, what makes someone Devoutly Diverse, or a New Era Enterpriser I’m sure would make for fascinating reading. But, I’m more interested in this Bystander group, which from their brief description sounds like a smorgasbord of political crackpottery. They go into zero detail, unfortunately, which leaves me free to spectulate. What kind of people make up this 8% of the American population at this tumultuous time in our history?
7%.....Those holding out for the Return of Elvis so he can take his rightful place as President of the Trilateral Commission
13%...Patriots So Thoroughly Embarassed By Politics They Have Withdrawn From The Public Square In Horror
9%.....Law Abiding, Tax Paying Citizens Who Desperately Want To Be Left Alone
16%...People Not In To Politics Because Christ Will Return Any Second Now
11%...People Who Will, like...Totally Support Whichever Candidate Who Promises To Legalize Marijuana
17%...Guns
14%...People Who Want Some Politician To Demand That Churches Go Back To Singing The Old Hymns
13%...People Who Think It Would Be Better For Everybody If The Gays Were All Forced To Move To Vermont
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