This week has brought a feeling of vindication to
the Dunnevant home. The work of being a parent is a never ending treadmill of
struggle and self doubt, a work without many tangible rewards. It’s like
cutting the grass, no matter how well you do it, next week you have to do it
all over again. You constantly second guess yourself. Was I too strict? Did I
shield them too much from life’s brutal consequences? Did I teach them too much
theory and not enough practical life skills? Should I have made them do more
chores? Underlying all of this angst is the fearful question; will they make it
out there on their own?
Well, this week brings two small rewards, a
tantalizing hint that Pam and I just may have pulled it off. My daughter had
her first day with students as a middle school English teacher, and my son
tried out for the biggest, most prestigious choir he’s even encountered, one
that had rejected him a year ago…and made it.
Kaitlin has handled the preparation for her first full
time job with uncharacteristic calm. Usually, she hasn’t done well with new
things, change. In the past she has been crippled by doubt and feelings of inadequacy.
Suddenly, as she has approached this biggest stage of her life, a new Kaitlin
has emerged, a confident, well-prepared, professional who seems to know that
she’s ready and able. Spending two years cloistered with extremely smart and
ideologically hostile people at Wake Forest has apparently instilled a mental
and emotional toughness in my daughter that has been thrilling to observe.
Patrick has always been able to rise to the top of
every musical environment in which he has been planted. Whether in high school
or college he has been able to distinguish himself merely by demonstrating his
enormous talent. Then he got accepted at Westminster Choir College for grad
school and naturally tried out for their premiere showcase choir, the one that
gets to sing behind world famous singers in Central Park, and for the first
time in his life, he didn’t make it. To his credit, he didn’t fume and throw a
fit like many ego-heavy musicians would have, he just figured he wasn’t good
enough and needed to get better as a singer. After getting knocked a few rungs
down on the self-esteem ladder, he shrugged it off and went to work. Well, last
night he got word that this year, he made it. He couldn’t have been happier,
and we are justifiably proud of his hard work and persistence.
Of course, after watching Breaking Bad for the past two
weeks, what we are really thankful for is the fact that neither of our children
are cooking meth and hiding their rolls of hundred dollar bills in air
conditioner vents.
It’s all relative, really. Just thankful for the
little things.
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