Let it be known far and wide that this year, I produced my Christmas list on Thanksgiving Day. I am not the last person to get it done like every year in the past. Now, perhaps the Christmas List Nazi’s will give me a break.
Doug’s Christmas List 2012
1. An online subscription to the Wall Street Journal
2. Sports jacket that will go with jeans/khakis
3. A year’s supply of beef jerky
4. Season two of The Boss
5. Stylish sweaters to replace the ones I borrowed from Dr. Huckstable during the filming of The Cosby Show
6. Barnes & Noble gift certificates in any denomination (except Presbyterian)
7. Long-sleeve shirts that are casual enough to wear to a barbeque joint but nice enough to wear to church without eliciting glances of scorn from the blue-hairs
8. Underwear
9. Running shoes, size ten, preferably with no neon colored stripes down the sides
10. Big honking leaf rake with the big fat rubberized handle
11. Gift certificate to Loew’s so I can buy stuff to organize the garage
12. A Republican candidate for President who doesn’t have bank accounts in the Cayman Islands
13. A year of good health for my Dad
14. A two week vacation for my sister Linda away from the crushing responsibility piled upon her shoulders…preferably in the Cayman Islands, where an inadvertent bank error results in Mitt Romney’s fortune being transferred into her account
15. $250,000 advance from Simon & Schuster to write my first book, tentative title,” The Fiscal Cliff-Notes, An Idiots Guide To Economics”
16. A cool hat
17. A Segway that I can give to Donnie so he doesn’t have to walk his route every day
18. Better spelling skills
Doug’s Christmas List 2012
1. An online subscription to the Wall Street Journal
2. Sports jacket that will go with jeans/khakis
3. A year’s supply of beef jerky
4. Season two of The Boss
5. Stylish sweaters to replace the ones I borrowed from Dr. Huckstable during the filming of The Cosby Show
6. Barnes & Noble gift certificates in any denomination (except Presbyterian)
7. Long-sleeve shirts that are casual enough to wear to a barbeque joint but nice enough to wear to church without eliciting glances of scorn from the blue-hairs
8. Underwear
9. Running shoes, size ten, preferably with no neon colored stripes down the sides
10. Big honking leaf rake with the big fat rubberized handle
11. Gift certificate to Loew’s so I can buy stuff to organize the garage
12. A Republican candidate for President who doesn’t have bank accounts in the Cayman Islands
13. A year of good health for my Dad
14. A two week vacation for my sister Linda away from the crushing responsibility piled upon her shoulders…preferably in the Cayman Islands, where an inadvertent bank error results in Mitt Romney’s fortune being transferred into her account
15. $250,000 advance from Simon & Schuster to write my first book, tentative title,” The Fiscal Cliff-Notes, An Idiots Guide To Economics”
16. A cool hat
17. A Segway that I can give to Donnie so he doesn’t have to walk his route every day
18. Better spelling skills
I especially like items 12-14!
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