But, in fairness, it must be admitted that summers in Maine are not perfect. I mean, they would be if not for one thing…
Yes, the dreaded deer fly—bloodus suckious—the bane of all hikers, bikers, runners and walkers in Maine from approximately June 1st through September 1st. I already know what you’re all thinking—We have deer flies here, they aren’t unique to Maine. Bless your heart….thats like someone from Nebraska saying to someone from the Florida Everglades—We have mosquitoes here, what’s the big deal? The deer flies of Maine are supernaturally mean, angry and relentless. One of the reasons we spend so much time at or on the lake while we are here is because it’s the only place the deer flies leave you alone. Well, thats not entirely true. I don’t recall being bothered by them while in town, for example. Primarily, the woods—including any trail or road which may go through them are where they thrive. Since I like to take long walks, this can sometimes be a problem. But, Mainers have devised a solution, a tool for the fight. This baby—
Meet the Bug-Zapper Deluxe 2000. This cross between a tennis racket and pickle ball paddle comes wired with electrical current, which with the touch of a button will come to life sending fly killing electricity surging to the racket head. When properly swung it lights up the deer fly and emits a delightful buzzing sound to let you know that the job was done. I can attest to the fact that no sound is quite as satisfying as the Zap-o-Death. Just a couple days ago I carried this baby along on my 3 mile walk through the dirt roads of Quantabacook and I lost count at 45 kills. Of course the drawback to this device is that now I run the risk of developing bug-zapper elbow simply by going for a walk.
Since I believe that God created the heavens and the earth and everything therein, I am left with the task of finding a reason for the deer fly’s existence. I have come to the conclusion that God created the deer fly for one reason and one reason only—to keep the good people of Maine humble. Because, were it not for this bothersome insect, the summers in Maine would in fact be perfect, which would make Mainers too proud. And as we all know, pride goeth before the fall.