Pam’s Pictures

Pam heads out pretty much every morning on her kayak. Yesterday she was wrapped up like an Eskimo head to toe because it was quite cold. She took some amazing pictures while she was out there. Here are a few of them for your edification on this Lord’s Day…

And finally, a rare photograph of Lucy actually asleep on the dock…

Ivermectin and the Neighsayers

https://www.bbc.com/news/health-58170809

This article from the BBC will change no minds. People who are convinced that Ivermectin is a cure for COVID will continue to believe. By reposting it here, I will run the risk of being dismissed as in the tank for Big Science, or worse…an authoritarian Statist. This, of course, is unbridled nonsense. I am simply trying to rein in disinformation. I would be thrilled to learn that ice cream cured COVID, but it would have to be accompanied by plenty of peer reviewed studies with faultless methodology. In other words, a very rocky road of research would have to be trod before I would believe in the cure. It would appear that the studies done with regards to Ivermectin lacked not only reliable scientific data but also the key ingredient of all research…horse sense.

So, I post this and will gladly accept the blowback. All neighsayers are welcome here.

The Sound That a Screen Door Makes

There are advantages to always being the first one up in the morning. I get to watch the sun come up. Some days are more glorious than others, but they are all delightful.

Lucy had a big day yesterday. She spent a lot of her time in the water, swimming all over the place with endless energy and curiosity. Probably the highlight of her day was when Ron and I did our version of the polar plunge, by jumping in with her. The water temperature was 60 degrees, which for native Mainers would be considered sauna-like, but for southern boys like us felt about as freezing cold as it is possible to get!

I will say this…when you jump into 60 degree water, there is absolutely no question about the fact that you are alive. 

Here’s a random observation apropos to nothing. There are several screen doors at this cabin. There is a distinct sound that they make when opening that produces in me a profound nostalgia for my childhood. As the rusty spring coil expands and contracts there’s that sound, so familiar and evocative of a time long past. Whenever I heard that sound when I was a kid I knew I was safe. Does anyone else have the same reaction upon hearing it? My house doesn’t have a screen door, so I never hear it anymore. Maybe if I heard it every day it would lose its power. Perhaps its true what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder. Whatever the reason, every time I walk through one of the four screen doors in this cabin, I hear it and my heart says…yes.

Perfect

In this life we are not given very many perfect days. There is always something mucking up the works, bad weather, aches and pains…idiots. But yesterday was awfully close to being a perfect day. It started well, advanced beautifully, then ended with the Red Sox eliminating Darth Vader’s New York Yankees from the playoffs.

The morning dawned bright and clear with a lake that looked like polished silver. Pam woke early to take advantage with a morning paddle. My sister Paula, who is famous for not being a morning person, was greeted in an especially warm and affectionate way by her new best friend Lucy, who pounced on her bed at an unGodly hour to welcome her to consciousness…I is awake, you wake up too, hooman!! Thus began a day where the two of them would compete for space on the one sofa in the living room. Lucy is quite particular about her, uh…sofa space. At home, she is allowed on only two pieces of furniture, our bed and the sofa downstairs that has her blanket draped across it. So, at camp we do the same thing. We place a blanket on one of the sofas which tells her that it is ok to sit. Unfortunately, Lucy sometimes interprets this to mean that the entire sofa belongs to her exclusively. Instead of sitting to one side or the other, she plants herself directly in the center. When anyone else decides to sit down, she insists that they don’t get too close. Lucy, being psychotic, requires her own personal space, except on the occasions when she very much wants to get all up in everyone else’s space! After a day of this dance, Paula decided while watching the game that she wanted to stretch out. Ron sat down at one end, Lucy was dispatched to the floor, and Paula got herself comfortable, stretching out her full length. Lucy was about to teach Aunt Paula what having a dog was all about. She walked over to the sofa and began her work. She just stood there, mouth opened, pink tongue out, a devious smile on her face and started staring, her mesmerizing brown eyes locked on to Paula’s. This was going to be no contest. It might take a while, but Lucy was not going to be denied. After several uncomfortable minutes of this Mexican standoff, Lucy pounced, launching herself up on the sofa, on Paula’s legs, then burrowed and shifted back and forth until room was made, then curled up in a tight ball in between them…mission accomplished! Lucy is living her best life.

Once Pam got back from her paddle, we all headed in to Camden for breakfast at the Deli and some shopping. Dropped over a hundred bucks at the Smiling Cow which is actually better than average. Meg, the owner gave all four of us free pieces of a fresh batch of pumpkin fudge, probably because she feels guilty for taking all of our money. Then we walked up and down Main Street for an hour or so, popping in and out of all our favorite shops. More money changed hands…it ain’t cheap being on vacation in Maine.

When we arrived back at camp, we all swore off lunch because of the ridiculous amount of calories we had consumed at breakfast, what with three ginormous blueberry pancakes the size of hubcaps drenched in maple syrup. So, with no lunch to fix that meant that it was time for fishing. I caught six nice sized fish and  had a blast touring the lake while doing so. Eventually I hooked up with Ron who was out on his own fishing adventure. His kayak pulls up to mine and he says…I need some help! He had hooked his lure onto the tie rope at the front of the kayak and couldn’t get it loose. My delicate touch resulted in destroying the lure with a pair of pliers then sending him on his way!

Meanwhile, back at the dock, Lucy was entertaining Paula and Pam with her swimming skills, fetching her frisbee out of 60 degree water like it was nothing.

After fishing, a nap was enjoyed.

Then Pam made a delicious salmon dinner. You might be asking yourselves why Pam would be cooking dinner. After all, we invited Ron and Paula to come up here to stay with us…for free. Shouldn’t that fact warrant some sort of payback which might involve preparing meals? Well, here’s the thing. Paula made a pot of chili before she left Short Pump, froze it and kept it on ice. When they arrived Monday afternoon she warmed it up for our dinner that evening. Apparently that has served as the sum total of her physical labor for the week. She is determined to dethrone my daughter Kaitlin as the LVV…(least valuable vacationer).

After dinner we all had a glorious time watching the $230,000,000 Yankees swing and miss their way to ignominious defeat on national television.

I’m telling you people, it just doesn’t get any better than this.

And now for some pics…

Going Back in Time

Although it was overcast, with chilly sprinkles of rain when we arrived here on Coleman Pond, Pam and I were delighted to be introduced to this new house on this new lake yesterday. We have had the privilege of staying on many lakes over the years, in many different kinds of places— camps, cottages, cabins, and big, luxurious houses. The Coleman Pond Cottage is unique in that it is the only place that has reminded me of my grandmothers. Everything from how it is decorated to how the place is laid out makes me feel as if I have walked through a time portal and suddenly it is 1965. Lest anyone be confused by this statement let me be clear…this is a compliment. We love this place and so does Lucy.

As is our custom, the first night in Maine always features either pizza or Italian sandwiches from the closest general store. We have two choices in this regard, Drake’s and the Lincolnville General Store. Since we knew that LGS has a brick oven I drove the 8 minutes it took to visit the crunchiest store in all of Midcoast Maine…

Where I was greeted by two smiling ladies, one masked, one unmasked…which essentially is the Maine way.

I didn’t get a chance to get out on the lake but did spend 15 minutes fishing from the dock where this happened…

This morning the sun made an appearance…

As did what apparently will be an every morning ritual…

This is the only source of heat in this place and this morning it was 49.

Two weeks here feels like winning the lottery.

One more thing, when we arrived there were fresh flowers on the table…

This, ladies and gentlemen is one of the differences between an average rental company and On The Water in Maine. If you guys ever rent a place in the Midcoast Maine region and choose to do so through some other outfit, good luck. 

Slaying it Over Here…

Since this will be my last day in the Old Dominion for a while, I thought I would leave you guys a supply of cringe-worthy Dad Jokes to read while I’m away…

My dad was a Communist.

Whenever he told a joke, everybody got it.

Also, our family was starving…

But his jokes always hit the Marx.

They came atcha from all Engles.

You could always see the punch line coming since there were red flags everywhere.

Still, I would laugh Mao ass off.

A string walks into a bar. Bartender says, “We don’t serve strings here.” The string walks outside, ties himself into a knot, messes up his hair, and walks back into the bar. Bartender says, “Hey, aren’t you the string I just kicked out?” The string says…

“I’m a frayed knot…”

I refused to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker…

But when I got home all the signs were there.

Some guy just told me he was going to smack me with the neck of his guitar. 

I said, “Is that a fret?”

I asked my brother why he still worked as a mailman for such a low salary.

He said, “It’s not about the money, it’s about sending a message…”

I started up a new business. It was a dating site for chickens. But I had to close it down because…

I was having trouble making hens meet.

Post Season Predictions

Entering my favorite time of year, the Major League Baseball postseason. There’s a week left in the regular season and still some races yet to be determined, but largely we know which ten teams will be playing October baseball. My Washington Nationals are in full rebuilding mode, and my Boston Red Sox are fading fast. But for a hard core baseball fan like myself, none of that matters once the playoffs start. I’m all in. Like every year since 2010 I offer up my predictions around this time. My record has been decidedly mixed in this regard. Some years I seem prescient, other years I’m more like an idiot. For purposes of today’s exercise, I am assuming that the Dodgers and Red Sox will be wildcard teams, two outcomes that have not been assured as of 9/29/2021. Here are the ten teams in question:

From the American League:

Tampa Bay Rays

Houston Astros

Chicago White Sox

New York Yankees

Boston Red Sox

From the National League:

Atlanta Braves

Milwaukee Brewers

San Francisco Giants

St. Louis Cardinals

Los Angeles Dodgers 

Ok, first of all we can throw out the Chicago White Sox. They have the privilege of playing in the most pathetic division in all of baseball, the embarrassing AL Central where all the other teams finished under .500. When half your schedule consists of tomato cans, its easy to wrack up plenty of wins. The White Sox aren’t going anywhere.

Same deal with the Milwaukee Brewers. They aren’t even the best team in their division. They are at or near the bottom in most offensive and defensive categories. They pitch well and they strike a lot of guys out, that’s about it. So now that we have the imposters out of the way, here are my thoughts:

Tampa Bay Rays. I can’t figure these guys out. They have really good pitching and they hit a lot of home runs. But they strike out…a lot, more than any other team in the postseason. You would have a hard time naming anyone on their team. They have no “stars”. They basically have no fans either. Nobody attends their games. They won’t sell out their stadium during the World Series, if they get there. Never has such a good baseball team been cared less about than these guys. And yet, here they are again with the best record in the American League.

If the New York Yankees end up playing the wildcard elimination game against the Boston Red Sox, it will be the highest rated game of the year. These are two teams loaded with All Stars…and yet neither of them could beat out the Rays for the division title, leaving them vulnerable to a one and done exit. Although my hatred of the Yankees is legendary, they will win this game because they are a better team at the moment.

The Houston Cheaters aren’t going anywhere, at least I hope not. It’s going to come down to the winner of the Yankees-Red Sox game and the Tampa Bay Rays. Of those three the Rays feel like the third best team. So weird. My gut says “Yankees”

The most fascinating matchup of perhaps all of this year’s post season will be the LA Dodgers vs the St. Louis Cardinals. It will feature the best team in baseball (the Dodgers, hands down) against the hottest team in baseball,(they with the currently 17 game winning streak) in a one game shootout. Hard to pick against the Dodgers who have the best pitching staff perhaps ever. It will be a great game, but the Dodgers will advance and make it to the World Series with little or no interference from either the Braves or the Giants, yet another team I can’t figure out. They don’t have nearly as many great players as the Dodgers and yet they have won more games. All they seem to do is win. But in a short series it boils down to which team has the best pitching and that’s the Dodgers.

So, there you have it…the Dodgers vs the Yankees in the World Series…what everyone in the Commissioner’s office prays for every night.

Dodgers win.