He Fights

I have done a reasonably good job of staying clear of politics in this space, especially considering that there’s an election going on, but to totally ignore the ugly elephant in the room seems a bit gutless. So, today I will enter that swamp of horrors. In doing so I am fully aware that I will anger, disappoint, frustrate and annoy at least half of you, maybe more. I know this because there are lots of people in my life, people who I love and respect, who support a man who I find to be a loathsome embarrassment. In my desire to understand rather than be understood, I have recently asked many of them a simple question, “What is it about Donald Trump that makes you support his re-election?” The answers I have gotten have been interesting, to say the least.

First of all, almost everyone I have asked begins their answer with a disclaimer that goes something like this: Look, I know he can be a real asshole...or, Sure, he tells a lot of lies, and I wish he would get off Twitter. But then, after acknowledging his deficiencies of character, they invariably say some variation of this, “But Doug, he fights!”

I don’t think that I have ever encountered a simple declarative sentence pregnant with more mischief than...he fights. If ever there was a sentence in greater need of a prepositional phrase, I can’t imagine what it would be. He fights...is begging for clarification such as:

He fights...against what?

He fights...for whom?

He fights...on whose behalf?

He fights...to what end?

When pressed, my friends struggle to finish the sentence. “He just fights. He doesn’t take any s**t from anybody.”

When I follow up with something like, “But, what has all this fighting accomplished? Are we better off because of his fighting? Is he better off ? What has all this combativeness gotten us?”, they usually answer some versions of, “He’s got all the right enemies! He hates the same people I hate!” When I ask, “like who?”, they answer, “For one thing, the press!!” Back and forth we go.

Ok, combativeness, in and of itself, isn’t a flaw. I want a little combativeness in any President or CEO. But when it becomes the defining characteristic of who you are, fighting becomes dysfunctional. In the case of Donald Trump, I concede that my friends are entirely correct. He does fight. But, he fights everyone and everything, even himself. In pursuit of all this fighting he has been willing to demonize even casual opponents. He’s like the drunk who gets loaded and suddenly wants to take on everybody in the entire bar. I fail to see how this makes him an effective President. What it makes him is...a fighter.

As far as having the right enemies, even that is an odd selling point for a President. Do I like the press? That’s a trick question, right? Who likes the press?? Never has a profession grown so loathsome in such a short time than journalism! But is a free press my enemy? No. I might not like them, but I wouldn’t want to live in a country without a free press. Would you? Trump’s “enemy of the people” epitaph sounds like something a communist would say! 

“But Doug, he fights.” 

Yes. Yes he does. It has been the defining theme of his Presidency. Fighting. He fights the press. He fights the Democrats. He fights the Republicans. He fights his own advisors. He fights his cabinet. He fights the liberals. He would fight conservatives if there were any left. But, not surprisingly, all of this fighting hasn’t morphed its way into very much actual...policy. His famous wall remains unbuilt. Obamacare survives. Abortion is still the law of the land.

I give no President credit or blame for the economy because the economy is impossibly complex and largely immune to the small scale tinkering that most Presidents engage in. I also wouldn’t blame any President for a pandemic. Presidents don’t run local police departments, so their behavior is beyond any President’s control. But, I can’t help but think that this President’s fighting personality is now being reflected in the streets. Who, when looking at the chaos and violence in American cities, thinks that what we need as a nation is a President who fights?

I have not here made the case for his challenger. This blog isn’t about Joe Biden. This blog seeks to understand why our current President has made a virtue out of endless anger, resentment and confrontation, and why his supporters love him for it. For me, Donald Trump is exhausting. He promised winning. We got fighting.

Not the same thing.

Don’t Change For Me

Goodbye August. Hello September. 

Ever since COVID happened, the end of one month and the beginning of a new one has brought with it a surge of optimism, a hope that with the mere flipping of a calendar relief would come. Maybe it’s just been me who has felt this way. Nevertheless, month seven of the Age of COVID has begun, and my Facebook feed is still full of people who believe it’s all a conspiracy, nothing more than a bad cold that has been transformed by the press and the deep state into a cudgel with which to destroy Donald Trump. The realization that there is literally nothing I can write to change any of their minds on this matter is profoundly troubling, but it is just one of a great many things about which I am powerless. Such is life.

Now for some good news. Pam and I leave for our second Maine vacation in just 23 days. This one will be jam-packed with all sorts of momentous events. We will be returning to our favorite lake house of all time, the one that convinced us that one day we would have to buy a place of our own...the irreplaceable Loon Landing. During our time there we will be hosting some friends of ours, Chip and Lynn Hewette for five days. They have never travelled to Maine, and there isn’t anything that Pam and I love more than introducing our friends to the joy and beauty of mid-coast Maine. Serving as tour guide to first time guests is a blast and we cant wait! But this trip will be different than all others for us in that we will be setting aside a couple of Saturdays to cabin-hunt with our realtor, Tiffany Ford. She is compiling a list of candidates and setting up tour times for us. Just in case we find...the one...I’ve been told to bring my checkbook! Very exciting.

The other day we had a Facetime appointment with Tiffany to discuss things and she said something that really got my attention. She mentioned that some people from away who buy cabins in Maine immediately set about trying to transform it into something that looks like where they came from. They want Maine to change into something that accommodates them. Ok...full stop.

If I could write a letter to the State of Maine, here’s what I would say:

Dear Maine,

My wife and I have been vacationing in your beautiful State for over 35 years. Long ago, we fell in love with you. Over the years, we have dreamed of buying a place where we could spend our summers, but for much of our lives together were prohibited from doing so by circumstances and stubborn financial realities. Now, the circumstances are right and the financial realities are in agreement, so here we come! But first, I would like to make a request of you. Please don’t change for us!! The last thing I want my cabin to look like is Short Pump, Virginia. Don’t get me wrong, I love Virginia, am proud to live here. But I also love Maine, but for different reasons. I love you exactly the way you are. I don’t want your stores and shops to be the same ones we have in Virginia. I don’t want all the conveniences of home at my fingertips. I don’t want everything in the world to be within five minutes of my front door. I want two lane roads instead of interstate highways. I want roadside lobster roll shacks instead of Burger Kings. I want towns full of nothing but local businesses where I can spend money that never leaves town. I want my cabin to fit in. I want my behavior and customs to be appropriate to my neighbors. because, even though we have been coming to your shores for 35 years, we still consider ourselves...guests. As such, it is our job to conform to you, not the other way around.

Sincerely,

Doug & Pam Dunnevant

Some Inspiration For a Monday Morning

Today was supposed to be the day that my friend had reconstructive surgery. She had been preparing herself mentally, emotionally and physically for this day for months. So, because this is 2020, last night, while she was outside watering her plants she gets a call advising her that her surgeon has come down with something that might be COVID and is consequently quarantined for two weeks!! One more blow in a long and relentless series of blows that she has been forced to endure. This morning, we talked about it. I was nervous. I didn’t know quite what to say. I had no idea what kind of state she would be in after pondering it all night. Here’s what happened:

Me: Morning!

Pam: Good morning 

Me: ..stupid COVID

Pam: I know Johnny was disappointed too but I try to look at it this way... maybe it was Gods blessing or protection from something.  I just had chemo last Thursday.  It’s a lot for me body to endure.

Me: Thats true. I wasn’t too crazy about you having surgery so soon after chemo. Now you’ve got a couple weeks to get stronger.

Pam: I know so this gives me a week to rest. PTL.  I have a colonoscopy next Wednesday and echocardiogram on Thursday.  9 th an 10th so this week I plan on resting.

Me: I just hate this!!

Pam: Me too!   I was hoping to get this week an next behind me, chemo on 17th an then one more chemo on Oct 8   Now this puts everything 2 or more weeks behind so it will be late October before I’m through. But the end is in sight.

Me: Sometimes I think it would help me if you just lost it every once in a while and started screaming obscenities at me. I know that sounds stupid...but it’s true. Its all so unfair. I don’t understand why God is allowing this to happen to someone like you. I know that God’s ways aren’t our ways and all that but still...it makes me angry.

Pam: Lol won’t happen not my nature. I believe something good will come of it one day. I do a lot of walking an talking to God  and that’s how I hold myself together.

Me: Maybe there’s a reason I got involved in this...maybe he’s trying to teach me something. Who knows?

Pam: You never know.  I agree why in the world would you an me be talking every day for over a year.  Eventually we will know!   I appreciate you an all you have done more than you will ever know!...On a lighter note one of my neighbors brought me an Asian pear cake last night. OMG!!!  I bet I ate 3 pieces last night while slicing it to be stored in a Tupperware container.... already had a slice this morning.  So I am headed out for a morning walk to try and erase some of the damage I have done to my body. Happy Monday my friend to God be the glory!   Great things He has done!!!

Me: THAT’S IT!!! That’s why the surgery was cancelled!! So you could get the curative powers of Asian pear cake in your system!!!

Pam: 🙌🙌so I should eat more??

Me: YES! Oh..and you’re a pig. Three pieces while you were cutting it up??? Oink!

Pam: Yes horrible I know.  We never have cake in our home.  Johnny is a type 2 diabetic.  Sugar feeds cancer too so I never make them. Love cake,  pie, ice cream, milk shakes anything bad I love it.

Me: Well, that may be true, but when was the last time you had a neighbor show up at the door with a plate of asparagus?...“Here, I know you’re battling cancer so I thought you would like some vegetables!”

Pam: LOL! Exactly!!

And, just like that, she’s off to battle another day. She will go for her walk, talk with God, find her bearings, and keep grinding.

Jacob Blake

Jacob Blake. Kenosha, Wisconsin. Seven shots fired, point blank, in the back. Three nights of riots. Seventeen year old vigilante with a rifle murders two. NBA and MLB players cancel games. Blake paralyzed from the waist down. Trump to send National Guard to Kenosha.

Those are the salient facts of this latest racially charged encounter involving the police, a young African American, and someone with a cell phone. I believe it also is the issue upon which the 2020 election will be decided...are the American people more fed up with policemen using deadly force, or are they more fed up with watching their cities burn? 

The reaction to this latest shooting has been identical to every other high profile case of its kind. One side bemoans the use of deadly force against an unarmed and outnumbered citizen and asks questions like, seven shots in the back? Couldn’t three police officers have subdued one skinny guy without resorted to gunfire? The other side points out the criminal record of Mr. Blake, the fact that he had just recently been arrested on a sexual assault charge, that he was dangerous and may have been reaching for a knife, and who are we to criticize the police who do a dangerous job in terrible circumstances every day? Nothing ever changes. Nothing seems capable of moving the needle, even high profile multi-millionaire athletes, playing in front of cardboard cutout crowds, walking off the job in dramatic fashion. We become further entrenched. Their tears are immediately branded as of the crocodile variety. Meanwhile, Tucker Carlson suggests that we shouldn’t be surprised that teenagers emerge with rifles to restore order since no one else seems willing to do the job.

Joe Biden and the Democrats point to Jacob Blake and say, See? See what will happen if you re-elect Trump?

Donald Trump and the Republicans point to Kenosha, Wisconsin and say, See? See what will happen if you elect Joe Biden?

So, what do I think? 

I think that to shoot a man in the back seven times is an abomination and the fact that it continues to happen is a disgrace, representing a complete failure of training and temperament and an abuse of authority. I think that the continued destruction of our cities, the looting and burning of businesses brave enough to locate in our inner cities in the first place is also a disgrace. For any of this to be fixed will require a combination of empathy, resolute action, and brave leadership. I see little of these qualities on the political horizon. Accordingly, it will take men and women of good will and good faith to step up, filling the gaping leadership vacuum of the moment, ordinary citizens reaching out to the other side in humility and grace, saying...We are tired of the hate. We have grown weary of the violence. We’re tired of politicians pitted us against each other. Come, let us reason together. Let us find a way out of this dark place. Some are doing just that, but their voices can’t be heard over all the screaming.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

In my continuing effort to raise awareness of the dangers of COVID, today I have a word for all of my friends who play the game of golf. Precautions need to be taken by all golfers at all times to prevent the spread of this deadly virus. To that end, let this timely tip serve as a warning and a reminder:

Hat tip to my friend, Tom Allen, for this public service announcement.

“Doug, what’s with all the jokes?”

It would be easy to write a post about Jerry Falwell this morning. For someone with my gift for irreverent snark, that post would practically write itself. There’s a part of me that would take great pleasure in doing so. But that’s the part of me that I don’t like very much. So, I will leave that blogpost to others. 

Instead, I would like to address a subject that I have been asked about in subtle and not so subtle ways of late...How come you post so many stupid jokes on Facebook and on your blog when there are so many horrible things going on in the world? Let me begin by answering the question. I do so precisely because there are so many horrible things going on in the world.

I don’t live in some hermetically sealed bubble. I am fully aware of the severities of the moment. COVID, racial unrest, politics, our poisoned discourse...all of it. But, my understanding of history is that every generation that has ever lived has experienced their own difficulties, most worse than this. Frankly, most far worse than this. If you don’t believe me, pick up a history book and read about what daily life was like 100, 200, 500 years ago, or if you’re not into reading, watch a show like The Last Kingdom for a taste of what it was like to exist in the 9th century...then get back to me on how horrible we have it in the United States in 2020.

Here’s the thing, when you’re in a mess, sometimes all you can see is the mess. It’s so easy to be blinded to the opportunities right in front of your eyes. Here we are in 2020, most of us carrying around the accumulated wisdom and knowledge from over 6000 years of the human experience in the palms of our hands. In America, food is cheaper and more plentiful than it has ever been in the history of civilization. We have access through any internet connection to products from literally every corner of the globe at our fingertips. We live and work in buildings with central air, heat and indoor plumbing, all things non-existent a mere 75 years ago and for all of human history that has proceeded us. Diseases that routinely killed hundreds of thousands of people in the past are treated with over the counter medicines that cost less than five bucks. The vast majority of us have the ability to get in a car and relocate ourselves from one side of the country to another, without a dangerous and often deadly three month slog through the wilderness. We open the taps of the lowliest kitchen sink in America and clean drinking water comes out (unless you live in Flint, Mich.). Any idiot with a cellphone can conceive of the lamest idea for a video, watch it go viral and start making a living on the internet, all without even a high school education. So, while America is certainly a screwed up place at this moment, it is still, by almost any definition, a land of great opportunity. And, I’ve got news for all of you doom-sayers out there...it will continue to be so no matter which guy wins in November. 

So, yes, we can and should do better as a country. We can and should do better by each other. But, sometimes, the amplifying power of the 24/7 news cycle and the omnipresent stream of bad news and bad faith arguments on social media can turn even the most ardent optimist into a weeping prophet. When I feel it beginning to happen to me, that’s when I break out the jokes. I don’t do it to escape the unpleasantness, but rather to remind myself and all of you that there is something better just beyond the mess. So, the next time you see some lame dad jokes here, take a break from whatever it is that has you so vexed and remind yourself how lucky you are to be alive.

It’s Complicated

COVID and all of the related angst and upheaval it has visited upon the world has turned 2020 into the dark punch line of a joke that nobody laughs at or understands. It has touched every corner of our lives in one way or another. When combined with the racial unrest and resulting violence and destruction in America’s cities that it has spawned, a dystopian stench has attached itself to 2020 and it becomes stronger every day. But...it’s not the Great Depression, it’s not World War II. Heck, it’s not even 1968 Newark, New Jersey. But, it’s something.

Much is currently being made of a poll that was taken about the “acceptability” of the number of deaths from the Coronavirus. Seems like a strange question, and I would love to see the exact wording of the question, but nevertheless, 57% of republicans say that the current number of deaths via COVID are acceptable. This has prompted a great hue and cry from many quarters. I am awfully glad that I was not asked this question, because it would have left me in a gigantic quandary of conflicting thoughts. The pollster would probably have fallen asleep before I was able to answer the question. I would have peppered him or her with many questions of my own, primarily, compared to what?

Last year, in the United States there were 170,000 accidental deaths, ie deaths that were unintentional, many job related, most of them motor vehicle accidents. I would imagine to the families of these 170,000 souls, not a single one would have been acceptable. But, what about to the nation as a whole? Considering how much physical work gets done in this country every year, considering the millions of miles that Americans drive every year, 170,000 deaths would be considered acceptable as a natural consequence of human activity. I doubt there would be any calls for parking our cars, or avoiding work because of the potential for fatal accidents. However, nobody would object to precautions taken to lessen the number of such accidents through things like seat belts, airbags, driving slower, and work place safety measures.

When it comes to COVID deaths, 174,000 deaths over the past six months is a lot of death. Moreover, unlike car accidents or falling off os a scaffold on a construction site, COVID is contagious. Anything that is so seems scarier. But, to those who say, this amount of deaths is unacceptable, what does that mean exactly? Do they mean that 174,000 deaths from COVID could have been avoided with some different policy provisions? Perhaps if we had followed New Zealand’s example, we could have saved many lives? New Zealand is home to 4.5 million people, similar to the population of Kentucky. Yet, its land area would cover the east coast from Florida to Pennsylvania. New Zealand isn’t a financial center of the world. New Zealand doesn’t have people from all over the world traveling to and from its shores. Maybe what worked for New Zealand is impractical for us, maybe not. But isn’t context important? 

If the point of the poll question is How many deaths from a currently incurable disease is acceptable in the context of a free society with a trillion dollar economy, then I might be inclined to answer...yes. One has to answer another question, it seems to me...what amount of destruction of businesses, increased domestic violence, increased suicides, along with rises in mental health problems are acceptable as the alternative? The question of risk always involves trade offs. If you shut down a nation as large and economically consequential as ours, attempt to quarantine 300 million people as volatile as us, you are basically accepting the above risks as more desirable than the loss of 174,000 people from COVID. That’s an entirely fair and justifiable position to take, and I’m not saying you are wrong to think so. But, the question seems over simplified. Perhaps some of the folks who answered the poll question had these trade offs in mind. Maybe some of them thought the question a strange one. Or, maybe some of them are heartless money-grabbers who care nothing about deaths. Who knows? What would have been my answer? Probably something like....it’s complicated!!