Friday Rant

Ok. It’s Friday and time to rant.

Let’s get something straight. When we come through this Coronavirus in a few months—and we most certainly will—it’s going to be important that we remember who the stars were. Who exactly was it who saved our collective asses?? Here is a partial list of those who didn’t save anything:

Donald Trump

Nancy Pelosi

Mitch McConnell

Chuck Schumer

Bernie Sanders

Joe Biden (remember him??)

Any Celebrity 

Any Athlete

Any CEO

Any Hedge Fund Manager

Any political pundit or talking head on television 

Any Journalist

I’ll tell you who the heroes of this story were:

Emergency room doctors

Nurses

Hospital workers

Grocery store clerks

Pharmacists 

Truck drivers

Cops

Food banks

Teachers

Volunteers who kept free lunches coming for needy school kids

Moms and Dads who didn’t incessantly whine on Facebook about having to be cooped up with their kids for a few weeks as if they were living at Auschwitz

Pastors, Priests, and Rabbis who kept encouraging us via technology

Kind neighbors who looked after that old couple down the street.

Hard-pressed millennials who chose to tip extravagantly whoever showed up at their door with a delivery

Ordinary people everywhere who took the threat seriously without resorting to panic and fatalism

Everyone working in the trenches to see to it that our electricity and internet continued to work.

In other words, the heroes are those all around us who didn’t have time to fear monger, pontificate about the politics of pandemics, or grandstand on Social Media from the comfort of their 20 million dollar estates...because they were too busy working their fingers to the bone saving the day.

Learning A Few Things About Myself

I have lost track of the days, the month of March having slipped into a timeless warp, one day indistinguishable from the next, the workweek and the weekend having been melded together. The only reliable, and for me significant marker, has been the hours that the markets are open and the hours when they are not. So, at 4:00 in the morning Wall Street sleeps. Maybe that’s why I gravitate to this hour.

Like all of you, I have learned a few things about myself during this extraordinary time, some good and some bad. I’ve discovered that I’m a lot moodier than I thought. There are many days when I wake up imbued with great optimism, itching for a fight, ready to battle this thing. But other days I have to fight the temptation to curl up in a ball in the corner. Luckily I am able to overcome that defeatist inclination quickly, there being no future in surrender. 

I have learned how much I crave order and routine, now that it has been taken from me. For three weeks now I have been denied admission to American Family Fitness, thus ending a nearly 17 year run of three workouts a week at that reliable institution. I cannot tell you how much I miss it.

My office has been transformed from one of the most comforting, familiar places in my life to a place of great heaviness. It’s hard to explain, this heaviness. When I am there I feel a weight descending. Normally my office is where great foolishness and mayhem happens, most of it courtesy of my childish pranks and incessant trash talk. Consequently, it's great fun to be there. My colleagues are exceptional people, very much like a family. March has changed the dynamic, made it a place of great seriousness. A sober realism has come to visit. There isn’t an ounce of panic in the place, but anxious concern is palpable. Its heavy and at times suffocating...an inescapable gravity.

I have been disabused of the naive assumption that in my 62 years I had built a secure life impenetrable by the vicissitudes of life. I had started to take on the conceit that I had somehow shielded myself and my family from most of the dangers of life by my commitment to industry and ingenuity. It turns out that there were more than a few weaknesses in Fortress Dunnevant. While I am far less vulnerable than most, I am not safe. None of us are safe.

I have also learned how important other people are to my well being and happiness. I suppose this isn’t a new realization, but it has become much clearer over the past thirty days. My children, my wife, my brother and sisters, my small group from church, my closest friends, my clients, all of the people who have populated my life are suddenly so dear. I find myself suddenly so much more solicitous of my neighbors, so much more aware of the man across the way from me at the gas pump, or the lady behind the cash register at the drug store, even the anonymous customer service voice in Des Moines. How are they holding up, I find myself asking...not as polite small talk but because I sincerely want to know. Is there anything I can do to help, I wonder? In a raging sea of bad outcomes, this is a great blessing. Humanity, empathy and compassion are making a comeback. 

I have also relearned something I’ve always known. I picked the right woman. I come home every day to her. She is always here, busy doing something useful and practical, reassuring me that this will eventually blow over, reminding me...sometimes against overwhelming evidence...that I am a good man and that she is proud of me. Her steadfast love redeems the day.

She is right. This storm will blow over. We will come out the other side. When we do, hopefully we will be better people than the ones who stumbled into the COVID-19 battle full of pride and arrogance.

Another Day in Paradise

Woke up at 3:00 with a start from an anonymous dream. As my head cleared I heard the steady roar of the rain. Made my way downstairs, rain coming down in buckets, a dreary 43 degrees out. Perfect. Weather straight out of central casting, my 60 hours of freedom over. I stood at the back door and watched the downpour. Maybe everyone would stay at home today, never turn on their televisions, refuse to take in more bad news. Maybe they won’t call today, I think, knowing that they will. They always do on Mondays. Its always worse after a weekend of breathless, caterwauling from the Barbie and Ken dolls that fill American television screens with the latest dispatches from the apocalypse. The latest news this morning is the failure of the Democrats and Republicans to agree on a relief plan. The collapse of weekend talks is supposed to be a horrible thing. Maybe. Maybe not. But oh, they will call alright.

I will tell them what I know of our strange new unknowable world. They will ask me what they should do and I will answer based on my education, training and experience. It is all I can do. I will tell them what I believe is true. I will council patience and calm. I will ask them not to act out of fear, but it is hard to hear, harder to do. Then the phone will ring and I will do it again. In between I will scan the universe of information at my disposal, trying to make sense of conflicting sentiment. I will sort through the latest data looking for both confirmation and contradiction. I cannot give in to stubborn rigidity at a time like this. I have to be willing to change horses even in the middle of so turbulent a stream. If the weathermen are right, the heavy rain will submit to a driving drizzle by afternoon.

I will come home for lunch. My house is only a mile and a half from my office. I will make myself some lunch and eat it while listening to Colin Cowherd on I-Heart radio. He’s a sports talk show host and I have found it mildly amusing listening to a sports talk show host do his job when there are no sports happening anywhere. He still finds things to yak about for three hours everyday. He’s a professional.

After lunch, I go upstairs and sit in my recliner and worry about my kids for a while. I put some music on in the background and try to rest my mind and body for thirty minutes, an hour if I’m lucky. Then, I will go back to the office and start returning calls and making a few of my own. There will be new headlines to decipher. The markets will take turns skyrocketing and swooning over rumors. When the bell finally rings at 4 o’clock I will do my best to either ponder the remarkable rally or survey the damage from another relentless sell-off. My resolve will have been tested, my faith challenged, my nerves rattled. Then I will make the quick drive home, get the mail out of the mailbox, go inside and immediately wash my hands while singing Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes, there beneath the blue suburban skies.

I will check in with my friend who has endured the exact same day as I have...while recovering from nine months of cancer and recent  major surgery. We will commiserate, exchanging war stories, understanding completely what the weight of responsibility feels like during this crisis. At some point, I will attempt to lighten the burden by cracking jokes. Sometimes they make her laugh. Other times they fall to the ground and burst into a million pieces.

Incredible...

With the Coronavirus dominating this space for the past couple of weeks I haven’t talked about how my friend is doing. I still talk with her every morning, still tell her stupid jokes, still try to keep her spirits up. Imagine for a moment how you would be handling this Coronavirus thing if you were weakened by cancer, recovering from a painful and invasive surgery, and worried sick about your hundreds of clients losing money in the stock market? Yeah...I can’t even...

So, a few days ago, she was understandably distraught. She has good days and bad ones like the rest of us, but her bad days are made so much worse by her weakened condition both physically and emotionally. She was telling me how she was feeling and she used a certain phrase that I had never heard from her. It’s sentiment startled me, alarming me like nothing she had ever said. So, as is my unfortunate tendency, I unleashed a stern rebuke:

“Listen to me carefully...YOU WILL NOT GET SICK AGAIN. I mean it. This may slow down your recovery, but you are not going backward over one stupid bear market caused by one lousy virus. I will not stand for it. Do you understand me? You have endured too much, conquered too much ground to turn back. I have had quite enough of cancer and so have you...so I don’t want to hear you say that ever again. Ok?? I don’t mean to be ugly about it...but I don’t want to hear that type of negativity from you. If you speak that way you open the door for it. You need to speak positive thoughts into your life. That’s what I have been doing for you for nine months now and for the most part you have been amazingly positive. Negative words and thoughts lead to negative outcomes.”

I immediately felt guilty for the tone of the remarks and apologized. She thanked me for my honesty and said she needed to hear it.

Fast forward to yesterday after the end of another brutal week of losses on Wall Street. It was around 5:00 in the afternoon and I was really down. This time it was my turn to let loose with a string of negative comments. Throughout this past month I have stayed relentlessly positive, not to offer false confidence to my clients but because its how I actually feel, what I actually believe in my heart—that this is a temporary setback and we will all recover and that recovery will be both swift and eventually—complete. But I’m also a human being and as such I am susceptible to despair. Yesterday was a low point and I couldn’t hide it from my perceptive friend. Her response to my negativity was breathtaking:

“I think sometimes someone needs to cheer the cheerleaders. You’ve been strong through all of this and I know the Lord will see us through. Our Lord knows what we are going through and for me its my third storm in 2 and a half years. Do you know what the Bible says to do when we face trials?...PRAISE him in ALL circumstances! Start praising God that he’s working all things out for good! I know its hard to do but I have to tell you I did it when I thought I was going to lose my daughter, I did it on days when the chemo was peeling the skin off my hands, I did it on the days when I was so sick and humiliated by the cancer I couldn’t even move. But, the Lord needs to know that you trust him no matter what. You and I and your clients know that we have no control over what has happened. So, put on some praise music and praise God through the storm! PS...I’m not fussing at you, I’m just telling you like it is. You can do this Doug! I’m an old fashioned woman and I believe the Bible. The mountaintop experiences are for our joy, but the valleys are for our maturing.”

That this woman who has endured such a grueling ordeal could say such things to me was astonishing. But her words steadied me. After all, if she can keep the faith, if she can find joy amidst this nightmare...we all can.

Ready For A Fight?

I’ve come a long way in a month.

There are a whole host of factors that contribute to the establishment of a world view. Education, training and experience are certainly three of them. Then there are the more subtle factors like personality, family, religion, how much and what you read etc..For me, all of these influences have produced a deeply ingrained suspicion of not only government but authority in general. To my parent’s eternal frustration I was the kid who questioned everything. I refused to accept their word for things, very seldom gave anyone in authority over me the benefit of the doubt. Gatekeepers of information were especially suspect. For me, Journalists weren’t people who reported on events but rather ideologues who pushed an agenda. Government officials weren’t civic minded public servants, but feather-bedding bureaucrats interested in nothing quite so much as self preservation and power. Enter the Coronavirus.

My initial reaction to COVID-19 news was annoyance. Here we go again, another media created frenzy...we’re all gonna die unless we revoke the Bill of Rights and give the federal government more power!! Then my instinctive biases took over...what the hell, it’s the stinkin’ FLU for crying out loud. where’s the fire??

My world view has benefited me in ways great and small. A healthy mistrust of government has proven throughout human history to be a quite rational and justified suspicion. Questioning authority has produced many of the most beneficial advances in human history. However, at times it can be an impediment to receiving and processing the truth. Since the early days of this crisis, I have voraciously consumed a wide variety of news from every source imaginable. As time has passed I have forsaken most news organizations entirely in favor of scientific and medical organizations. What I read there is much more boring, far less sensationalized, free from grandstanding and the competition for eyeballs and ratings. By doing so, my understanding of events, while not foolproof or by any means complete, has changed dramatically. I no longer dismiss the reality of what we are facing. The Coronavirus is a substantial threat to our country. The deaths that it will bring will be significant, the damage it will do to our economy and our own personal fortunes is considerable. 

But, there is a reason why I have not given myself over to despair. It’s another result of that world view thing. Here’s what I know about the world in general and America specifically. Human beings are a resilient bunch, and Americans are the most energetically inventive and creative people in the world. We have thousands of brilliant people working heroic amounts of hours trying to beat this thing back. Scientists, doctors, researchers and entrepreneurs are grinding away trying to get a grasp on it, figure it out and find a way to overcome it. They will. That’s what I’ve learned about my country in 62 years. We are an unholy mess during peace time, a nation of feuding tribes who spend most of the time at each other’s throats. But when existential threats appear, the ranks close quickly. Our collective attention gets focused on the threat and not on each other. And that’s when magical things start happening.

When the histories of the Coronavirus are written it’s going to be about that woman in the lab in Maryland who figured out X, and that guy from Detroit who did that amazing and gutsy thing that turned the tide. It’s going to be about the nurses and teachers, the garbage men and cops, the truck drivers, the pharmacists, the shelf-stockers. We will look back and marvel at the work done by churches and food banks, and the thousands of community organizations who held life together.  We will be amazed at the thousand kindnesses that passed between strangers. What the doomsayers predicted would destroy us is going to be remembered as perhaps one of our finest hours.

So, yes. I’m still suspicious of authority. I still distrust government. But I have chosen to put some of that aside in favor of being part of the solution...and part of the solution is using this blog to remind all of you of who we are. We are Americans...stubborn, self-obsessed and petty most of the time...but ferocious and heroic when cornered. We will beat this thing. We will win this fight. 

Count on it.

Counting Our Blessings

The Coronavirus has swiftly and dramatically altered daily life in America. An awful lot of wealth has been, at least temporarily, wiped out. People are growing more fearful by the day. However, not everything associated with this crisis is...bad. The answer to the eternal question, is the glass half empty or half full, depends on one’s perspective. To that end, I have compiled a short list of positives associated with this mess. Let’s all count our blessings for a moment:

- We have gone weeks now with practically no news about the Presidential campaigns.

- The U.S. Senate took a vote yesterday on a huge Coronavirus relief package and it passed 90-8. We haven’t seen this level of bi-partisan cooperation since the 100-0 vote to make Mother’s Day a thing.

- Traffic on West Broad Street in Short Pump is finally manageable. But in fairness, that’s because most of the cars are in the drive thru at Chick-fil-A.

- Bernie Sanders can shut down his campaign secure in the knowledge that there are far fewer billionaires in America now than when he started.

- If we get to the point where everyone 70 and older must shelter in place, would the last one leaving the Capital building turn out the lights?

- Sports gambling losses in America have plummeted.

- Hot Yoga classes have been cancelled throughout the Country, raising the cumulative IQ of the nation by ten points.

- The Meme business is booming.

- Gasoline has gotten cheap.

- Peloton owners have become even more smug and obnoxious than normal, proving that literally anything is possible.

- We are all about to discover the truth of our Lord and Savior’s words from the Gospel of Luke that, “A man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

- This will be remembered as the Golden Age of Dogs.

This Ain’t The Blitz...

Apparently there is something called Google Hangout which allows you to have a video conference call with multiple parties. I’m sure there are other similar services out there in the amazing world of technology. But leave it to my wife to find one that not only works like a glitch-free charm, but is FREE. Anyway, there we were last night, Pam downstairs on the sofa, me upstairs in my recliner, with all four of my kids and both of my Grandpups appearing like magic on my iPad screen. We talked and laughed and shared our concerns about this stupid virus for over an hour. Occasionally one of the pups would do something adorable on screen and we would all laugh. We each shared our concerns about working from home and potentially being locked down. We talked about food supply, money issues, etc. Pam and I got to see their faces, a huge relief for both of us. And it costs us nothing.

Listen folks, as disturbing as all of this is, lets be clear...this ain’t the Blitz, people. This isn’t London in 1940. We’re not hunkered down in bomb shelters praying that our number doesn’t come up. This isn’t Europe in the Middle Ages when the Black Death swept thru and killed 50 million people, six out every ten people. Heck, this isn’t even the Spanish Flu of 1918 which not only killed untold millions but diabolically targeted the young. I am not minimizing anything. This COVID-19 thing is a deadly serious public health crisis. But we have tools to help us get through the inconvenience and isolation of the remedy in ways that our ancestors couldn’t possibly have imagined. It is, despite the current evidence, a marvelous time to be alive.

Speaking of things that are marvelous...

Apparently in Germany panic buying of sausage and cheese has broke out...

It's the Wurst Käse scenario.

COVID spelled backwards is DIVOC.

Which is appropriate since I have no idea what DIVOC is going on.

Everywhere I look on the internet there are memes with word play about the Coronavirus.

It’s a global pundemic.

I just landed a small part in a new movie about the Coronavirus.

I’m a Corona extra.

Did you guys here about the Mosque here in Richmond that got hit with the Coronavirus?

The entire congregation has been placed in a Qurantine...