My search for a Golden Retriever puppy has been
about as productive as a trip to the DMV. Buying illegal drugs would be easier
than finding a purchasable puppy. There are waiting lists involved, not to
mention down payments and background checks to be endured. I’ve seen prices
ranging anywhere from $800 to $1800….for a dog.
Funny thing happens when you’re shopping for a dog.
When you see this type of price range, you start turning your nose up at the
$800 puppies. You wonder what is wrong with them that they are so cheap. Do you
really want to purchase a dog from the bargain bin? This is capitalism at work
at its notorious best. How much should a dog be worth? The answer is and always
will be in a free economy, what the market will bear. Am I willing to pay $1800
for the perfect Golden that I can get at the perfect time? The answer is…yes.
Is $1800 outrageous for a puppy? No, if someone if willing to pay. Would I or
anyone out there be willing to pay $1800 for a flea-bitten, tick-infested
Basset hound? Probably not.
Like everything else in life that I have wanted,
it’s not that things are too expensive, the problem has always been that I
can’t afford them. Luckily, this has given me sufficient motivation to change
that equation. I can either rage against the high price of Golden Retrievers or
make more money. Since I have no control over the price of the product, I must
change what I do have control over…my income.
Of course, there is another option open to
me. I could try and get the government involved. Why should only the 1% be able
to afford Golden Retrievers? Does not the Declaration of Independence speak of
the “pursuit of happiness?” I can’t think of anything that provides more
happiness than a puppy. First, I would have to hire some high priced lobbyist.
Then I could get some intrepid reporter from the NYT to write an expose on dog
breeders and tag them with a sinister label, “Big Puppy.” Soon the headlines
would read…Big Puppy Lands in Regulatory Doghouse. Then legislation would
be submitted to impose strict price controls on dogs. Perhaps a tax-credit for
low income families who buy a dog, a modification of the Earned Income Tax
Credit. Sure, there might be a few negative consequences to these new laws,
namely the creation of a black market. “Psssst…wanna buy a puppy? I know a guy
who could hook you up.” Of course, if the past is any teacher, ultimately a
shortage of Golden Retrievers would result, making them even more expensive,
but in order to make an omelet, you’ve got to break a few eggs. Besides, it
would be the intentions of the legislation that mattered, not the results.
I hope nobody in
Washington is reading this.
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